Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Day 567 - Letting go of the worst case scenario - Realisations & commitments on the thought dimension pt6


In my previous post I wrote about the thought dimension, here I am writing about my realisations….

What I realised about the thought dimension is twofold: the influence of the media regarding the dire economic situation and the influence of others in my field who I use as a point of comparison - are the ingredients which together create the worst case scenario picture in my mind

In the first instance, I am facing a lot of news about the economic crisis, unemployment figures that are sky-high and continue to rise. There are countries where youth unemployment is at 55%. This is obviously a devastating situation. Even though I am not overtly reacting to these news I am still affected by it and how it plays out is that I start to project into the future what the economic situation may mean for me. It's the insecurity of our economic system on the one hand and the visible collapse of it on the other hand that leaves us collectively distraught. In my case it contributes to thoughts of homelessness and loss of livelihood. 

The other influence is the direct comparison of myself as professional in the work place. I have noticed that I compare myself to others in terms of rank and projects. The moment I am aware of it, I see the absurdity of it because my professional trajectory is unlike anyone else's in my work environment. I know this is an automated mechanism which, as of late, I tend to participate in until the moment when I am becoming aware of what I am doing and then I stop


When and as I am reading the news about the economic world situation, I breathe and stop my subtle reactions, I see, realise and understand that the situation is very bad and that with and through my participation to change myself and change the system I am doing what I can do. This entails a disciplined and steady approach in participating with the group to bring about a system that works on the principles of a living income for all. 

When and as I am at work and I look at others and compare myself to them professionally, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have a completely different trajectory behind me and that this trajectory also gives me completely different future opportunities, and that through comparison I only diminish myself and therefore I stop. I hold off any speculation and see, realise and understand that any projection in relation to this act of comparison is a figment of my mind and that I can will myself to stay out of it. 

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Monday, December 1, 2014

Day 566 - Letting go of the worst case scenario pt5


In this post I am tackling the next dimension of this series, the thought dimension. This dimension is usually a picture we conjure up in our minds…. here we go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes see glimpses of a world that is seen through the eyes of a homeless person - and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a picture where I am lying in the street waking up in the morning and all around me are legs walking really fast and I am afraid that I am being stepped on. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me being very filthy where I am living in the street and no one wants to get near me because of my stench. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself homeless in the street where I want to ask for money but I don't dare to because I fear the rejection from others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture where I look out into the world and everyone is scared of me because I am homeless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me of being cold and wanting to sleep but because I am in the street and I am afraid to lie down because I do not feel safe. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of my friends running away from me because I am homeless and no one wants to help me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be homeless and hungry and see all the good things I could eat if I only had some money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be homeless and reflect on the ways I could manage to leave this world because I have entirely given up on myself.
[Continue reading...]

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Day 565 - Letting go of the worst case scenario - Fear dimension - Realisations & Commitment pt4


In the previous posts

Day 564 - Letting go of the worst case scenario pt3

Day 563 - Letting go of the worst case scenario pt2

Day 562 - Letting go of the worst case scenario pt1

I have written about a fear that has been with me for many years, I remember being in college /university and having a faint glimpse of this fear but having always managed to "not go there" by suppressing the fear. 

So, now when I looked at the pattern when this fear has reared its head in the past, I saw that it was in specific situations where I did not have enough information to achieve a particular outcome/goal and that there was a relatively high "unknown" factor coupled to the situation/event. The "unknown" was a variable with the potential to have a substantial impact on the quality of my life and even survival.

If I look at it from what I have know about the mind/brain then this is very much the most instinctual aspect of my brain which is in its essence all about fear. The reptilian part of the brain is a system that decides very quickly about many things in our lives. How we like/dislike someone, what a piece of information means? How we should react to an event. It's the brain that works in complete polarisation: fight or flight. Black and white. It cannot compute complexity, and takes very little information to make a decision and hogs imagination to fill in the rest to make up an unsubstantiated story. It's a show. 

Specifically, when we do not have enough data about a person, event, situation - such as when we receive, say, an email from our boss that will only ask us to appear in her office we automatically go into fear states because it's this part of the brain that kicks in to prepare for the worst case scenario. All kinds of 'reasons' that seem plausible in that moment will come up in our minds and we believe them. 

The interesting component is that we have the knowledge about the workings of our brains/minds, it's known to many people and yet we still react to this part of it. Largely because it functions with an enormous speed so that we cannot even see how the situation evolves to a fear state. The fear is suddenly here, and that's it. 

In my commitment to let go of this fear, I see that in the moment when I do not have enough information about a situation/event that has a potential of changing my life (which may also have in part a lot of desire attached to it ) that I allow the automatic functioning of my reptilian brain to take over and generate fear. Even though from another point of view, I see that I do not have sufficient data to predict and project any potential trajectories into the future. 

Therefore the key to stop the reptilian part of my brain to step in for me and take over my mind, is for me to take the reigns into my awareness by slowing myself down. Slowing down is the antidote to speed, so this is where my will comes in. By putting my will onto the process of slowing myself down, I prevent the reptilian brain to take over. Because I will occupy the spot with my self-awareness and move into my chest so that I can concentrate on my breathing utterly and completely without wavering. 

What I have seen already when I have done this is that it stops the automated mechanism being invoked by the reptilian brain, so there is no fight, no flight, I emerge on the other side intact and still in self awareness. 


I commit myself to when and as I am in a situation/event/moment where I am either receiving not enough data to work with, or I am desiring to have more data on a specific issue in my life, I remind myself to bring myself here in awareness instantly and focus on my breathing andbody language, actually moving my body into a power position which I will hold for 2 min. while I continue to focus on my breathing, and from this point forward, I will proceed to participate with my surrounding again. 

In the next posts I will address the remaining dimensions.
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