Friday, March 21, 2014

Day 529 -Two sides of a coin: Two sides of a coin: betrayal and distrust pt12

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Here I continue with the commitment statements in relation to day 522

I commit myself to learn to breathe in the moment of backchat about my perceived short comings where I limit myself by believing that my backchat is more than me. 

I commit myself to stop any ideas about what I can or cannot do with my backchat and do not make my backchat dependent on the content where I believe that when my backchat is focussed on my negative self-definitions or on self-criticism then I am dealing with a special case of backchat that is more difficult to deal with than other backchat. 

I commit myself to stop trying to live up to the picture in my mind, the mental picture I have of myself so that I no longer have to compare my lived reality and my performance in it to the mental picture - so that I no longer have to hide what I perceive as discrepancy between the picture in my mind and the reality, as I perform in it. 

I commit myself that in the moment when I am acting from my automated 'fear of exposure' program that I slow myself point down so that I can identify what triggers that behaviour - and so that I can stop myself permanently from going into panic mode when I fear being discovered. 

I commit myself to identify and release all shame in relation to the memory of my father taking pictures of me in private situations and during moments of punishment

I commit myself to identify and release my parents' judgement of me that I have internalised.


more on day 523

I commit myself to that I will work through my programs in relation to my parents so that I can come to a point where I stop blaming them for my experience.

I commit myself to make use of the realisations I've had about my father's fear of shame by stopping my automated judgment of him.

I commit myself to end my "courage" personality that I use to compensate for the fear of shame.

I commit myself to walk through the program of pride where I direct myself from pride instead of directing myself from common sense.


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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Day 528 - Two sides of a coin: Two sides of a coin: betrayal and distrust pt11

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Here I continue with commitment statements on Day 521

I commit myself to release the energetic charge from when I see my body naked where I automatically judge parts of my body in polarisation which is pattern I have activated through thememory of my mother standing in front of the mirror and looking at her body, while commenting about its positive and negative traits and me believing that I have to do this too when I grow up. 

I commit myself to stop all thoughts that arise about my body as a project-in-progress and release all energetic charges where I want to hide my body because I believe that it is imperfect

I commit myself to stop determining from my mind whether I talk about an event to others who I am not close to, so that I stop making decisions from the starting point of fear of exposure. 

I commit myself to share what needs to be shared with others from common sense and not from a belief that what I share can be ‘used against me’.

I commit myself to share what needs to be shared with others without judgement about my abilities, where I stop all self-diminishment by passing a negative judgement on my abilities. 

I commit myself to stop all safety mechanisms that I have attached to the fear of exposing myself to others, where I use this fear to encourage the belief that when I hide myself I am safe. 

When and as I fear betrayal in a situation, I take the time to write out the situation and further write self-forgiveness on the most prominent emotions that come, and then look at the information and decide from there how to move forward. I commit myself to catch my fear of betrayal when it arises. 

I commit myself to stop the program of hiding myself from others because I realise that it is a gateway to all kinds of acceptances and allowances as this fear becomes the starting point for my actions. 

I commit myself to work through my backchat in self-forgiveness so that I stop using my backchat about my perceived inadequacy to make decisions. 
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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Day 527 - Two sides of a coin: Two sides of a coin: betrayal and distrust pt10

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IT IS NOT OK TO HUMILIATE ANYONE, INCLUDING ANIMALS




Here I continue with self-commitment statements on day 520 


I commit myself to move myself through and out of the program of creating a fear when I am addressed by anyone in relation to bringing my skills as contribution to a project. When and as I am in a moment where a request or mention of my skills surfaces, I breathe and slow myself down, I stay focussed on my breath and do not allow the words to trigger a physical reaction within me. At the same time, I suspend all self-talk that I am not able to do what is requested of me because I see, realise and understand that this is merely a belief I use to avoid to take responsibility for being successful. 

I commit myself to stop all avoidance tactics including the belief of being a fraud because I fear moving myself into the arena of success, therefore I commit myself to take responsibility to accept success as me, equal and one. 

I commit myself to stop attaching fears to the statement you can never have enough skills so that I use the fear to motivate myself to learn new skills. 

I commit myself to release all energetic dimensions from the thought/memory where my father interacts with me as a child where I hold an object in my hand and I am investigating this object and my father takes it out of my hand telling me “that’s not how you do it”. Here, I further commit myself to release all links I have made from the memory to the words: insecurity, inadequacy, and pressure by redefining the words. 

I commit myself to release all energetic dimensions of the belief that I have been lucky so far and that all my achievements have been are the result of some lucky circumstances, because I do not want to take responsibility for success. 

I commit myself to stop all self-manipulation mechanisms within me in relation to success where I dismiss other people’s acknowledgement of my efforts through compliments and other factors of acknowledgement as lies and spend my time looking for the motif of the lie so that i can keep myself trapped within the failure construct. 

I commit myself to stop all self-sabotage in relation to ‘having professional success’ and investigate myself in my current situation, as I am now starting a new 7-year cycle, so that I stop all sabotage and manipulation in the opportunities that are awaiting me to experience professional success. 

I commit myself to release all energetic dimensions in relation to the memory of my mother standing in front of the mirror and evaluating her body negatively, pointing out the areas and aspects that she does not like and that she would like to change, and me, as a child, standing by and experiencing myself awkwardly.


to be continued


My redefinition of the word “success”:


The outcome of a collection of tasks that completes every dimension of each subtask to the point of equality which amounts in physical reality to what is best for all. 

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