Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Day 526 - Two sides of a coin: betrayal and distrust p9

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Self-commitment statements on day 519

I commit myself to stop placing my focus on others because I realise that this is the starting point for me to maintain the programme of fear of betrayal and focus solely on myself and the relationship that I have with myself. 

I commit myself to let go of my programme of hiding myself by further investigating why I believe that I must exist in the self-judgement of weakness and strength.

I commit myself to release myself from identifying myself with humiliation and forgive my father as I have forgiven myself for having taking pictures of me as a young child in situations where I was punished and situations that are considered private. 

I commit myself to see, realise and understand, and then release, all memories in relation to fear of exposure and the belief that I am inferior. 

When and as I enter into situation where I compare myself to someone else I stop and breathe, I realise that it is through comparison I kick-start the programme of self-judgement, and this is why I commit myself to stop all comparison in the first place. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory and hold on to it of my mother who is telling me how another child is doing something so well, and that I can learn from them and me reacting to her statement in anger because I see, realise and understand that I wanted her to accept me and I wanted her criticism of me to stop. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory and hold on to it where my father is impressed by another child reacting to the child's achievement in a way that he never reacted to my achievements and me experiencing myself as inferior. 

I commit myself to see, realise and understand the relationship between the memories of my parents admiring achievement and skill in others, especially other children, and how this relates to my fear of exposure specifically when it is about my skills. 

I commit myself to eradicate inferiority in my life by rendering myself aware of all memories and releasing all memories that hold the programme of inferiority in place. 

I commit myself to redefine the word fraud.
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