Friday, January 24, 2014

Day 498 - Memories of my mother pt11

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Here I continue from my previous post and also begin with the commitment statements on trust


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined security, limitation and severity within the memory of my father telling me to walk my path and don’t look back. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from security, limitation and severity by defining security, limitation and severity within the memory of my father telling me to walk my path and don’t look back, in separation of myself.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to require communication signals from my interaction partner in order for me to experience myself in a comfortable manner. 




Commitment statements on trust

commit myself to stop looking to make sense of another’s action in relation to myself and respond to any and all situations from within the situation itself and stop myself from going into experiences of betrayal, knowing that this is a program I have created to not trust myself by slowing myself down to the point where I can see, realise, and understand every single memory related to this point. I commit myself further to realise all aspects of the emotional experience of betrayal and clean up all dimensions so that I can then apply myself consistently and steadily in real-world application of walking out of this program. 

I commit myself to delete and eradicate the relationship I have created between myself and the trust/distrust dynamic with others where I don’t trust others and look for hidden meaning in their actions and at the same time trust others in seeking acceptance and approval. I commit myself to stop the polarisation of this trust/distrust-dynamic and establish self-trust in walking my process and applying myself in real-life situations where I stop all relationships of self-value with my external world. 

I commit myself to be present for myself at all times by bringing my awareness back to the relationship I have with myself. 

I commit myself to stop offloading responsibility to others and take responsibility for all situations that I encounter where I apply myself 100% instead of seeking the opinion/perspectives of others as a convenient way out and take full responsibility for the decisions I make. 

I commit myself to stand one and equal to the fear of who I would be when I completely trust myself and stop worrying about what my environment would do because I realise that this worry can only exist as long as I am looking for feedback from my environment that I can use to maintain the programs of my ego

I commit myself to create a life for myself that is stable and solid because I realise that my fear of my life being boring is a thought from within my mind seeking the next energetic high, I therefore delete the belief in this thought and focus on my relationship with self until I stand entirely equal to myself. 
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Monday, January 20, 2014

Day 497 - Memories of my mother pt10

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I am still writing on the point of trust and how it relates to memories of my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience trust as an entity outside of myself and not as something I can relate to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have trusted my parents as authority in my life and placed my Self as inferiority to them, so that when my parents made comments about my physical appearance and my intelligence I have taken their words onboard and created memories as guiding principle of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my parents comments about me because I don’t trust myself enough to not believe these comments. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a inferiority based on me trusting my parents and within this inferiority I did not question the statements and comments my parents have made about me but instead I suppressed myself and harboured anger and resentment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my mother commenting on the way I dress and that I have used this memory to create my appearance personality and because of this memory I have changed the way I dress, from fearing that my mother’s comment are true. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear “looking like a whore” - to fear looking cheap, ugly and vulgar and therefore when I look for ways to dress, I dress to avoid drawing attention to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I look at my body from the perspective of being flawed based on the memory of my mother commenting on my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the memory of my mother to program myself with the belief of having a body that is not good enough, and at the same time rebel against this memory because I do not want to accept that this memory has power over me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have accumulated judgements and beliefs about my body which I use to create distrust and self-acceptance issue within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure my appearance on the populous at large and then decide what is acceptable for me to do in relation to my appearance personality and that which I have programmed into my water based on the memory of my mother’s comments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have trusted the stability of my relationship with my body as a young person but have allowed the comments of my mother as a memory to determine how to evolve the relationship with my body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have seen myself in relation to my mother as not knowledgable and unexperienced and have therefore opened myself up to accept my mother’s beliefs about the world and how the world works in regards to survival, and have acted from belief in my interaction with the world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have dismissed my own understanding about people in favour of that of my mother because I do not trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory exist within me where my father where he tells me “walk your path and don’t look back”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of my father where he tells me to “walk your path and don’t look back”. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the memory of my father where he tells me to walk my path and don’t look back as belief to not investigate my history and to understand the decisions I have made in my life
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