Friday, January 10, 2014

Day 493 - Memories of my mother pt6

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This post is a continuation from:



I commit myself to stop waiting for my mother to change or revise her attitude, behaviour or words so that I can let go of the memory of her telling me that I have no value in her life and instead take responsibility by facing my internal reality from within my relationship with self. 

I commit myself to stop waiting for others to respond to me so that I experience myself as valuable contributor to the group and recognise that group respect comes from self-honor in taking my place as a member of the group. 

I oommit myself to re-create my relationship to self-value from within my relationship with self and stop any projection of needs/desires/wants of value shown to me by others. 

I commit myself to re-create my relationship to self-value from with my relationship with self and stop all backchat that is born from needs/desires/wants that I project onto others including my mother.

I commit myself to make the relationship I have with my mother the primary relationship to work on the point of self-value because I realise that all other relationships are an extension of the dynamic that is existent between my mother and I.

I commit myself to stop creating a challenge within the relationship of self-value and see, realise and understand how I use challenge to motivate myself to seek confirmation for my value. 

I commit myself to disconnect the relationship between “powerful” and “self-value” as I have both focussed on the external world and thus reverse these relationships in directing them within myself through “I”


I commit myself to equalise my self in how i interact with the world when I am by myself and how I interact with the world when I am with others - by equalising I create a continuous relationship between both, inner and outer, where I am the directed principle.

I commit myself to end my introverted personality which I created as reaction to my parents and end the use of self-value as a program to create separation. 


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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Day 492 - Testing myself on New Year with the Chinese Zodiac pt3

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This post is a continuation from:

Day 486 - Testing myself on New Year with the Chinese Zodiac pt1
Day 488 - Testing myself on New Year with the Chinese Zodiac pt2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that when reading the text written about the Chinese New Year and the respective Zodiac sign my heart beats faster and I can sense anxiety moving up from my solar plexus where I start to feel uncomfortable in my body and want to get up and do something else to divert myself and suppress my reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put stress on my physical body based on the words I read because I identify with the words and imprint the emotional reaction into my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my body in discomfort because I have accepted and allowed myself to let my life be directed by a belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences that abuse my physical body because I create a mental space in separation of myself based on the words that I read that suggest a prediction of my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create physical consequences for myself by reacting to the words in the Chinese Zodiac because I desire that the professional situations in my life turn out positive, so that I can consider myself successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create mental consequence for myself where even if I now have released myself from the energy, I still experience a residue of belief in relation to the what was said in the text.

Commitments

I commit myself to take responsibility for all relationships that I have created and once those are cleared by me standing equal to them, i commit myself further to work with the relationships that affect all of society.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for having reacted and refresh my decision of who I am.

I commit myself to stop my desires, wants and needs because they are not who I am.

I commit myself to become equality so that I can read, hear or see any prediction about my life and remain indifferent to any emotional charges that may arise.

I commit myself to stop all self-punishment and see, realise and understand that I am in process of change which is patience itself.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I am not my habits of reactions and that my self-will it stronger than the energetic charges that I believe to be me.

I commit myself to do this test every new year until I can stand clear from reactions and thoughts that bind me to my own self-victimisation.



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Monday, January 6, 2014

Day 491 - Memories of my mother pt5

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Artwork Ron Mueck



In this post I continue with this series:

Day 485 - Memories of my mother pt1
Day 487 - Memories of my mother pt2
Day 489 - Memories of my mother pt3
Day 490 - Memories of my mother pt4

I commit myself to stop seeing myself in separation from others so that I stop all fears related to my interactions because I see, realise and understand that when I give ‘something’ to someone I am the one placing conditions onto the interaction which is a coveted way of placing conditions onto myself so that I can judge myself, punish myself and devalue myself.  

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that “giving away” is a belief that is born from the mind-consciousness system and is part of the mechanism of separation because it is based on perception and not on physical reality where nothing is separate, ever. 

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I have created a relationship between the memory of my mother telling me that I have no value in her life and my ego and in this moment of breath I decide to let this relationship go by becoming self-value within the relationship of my Self. 

I commit to release all emotions that I have accumulated through and as the memory of my mother telling me that I have no value in her life and even when this series of posts has been completed I will continue to look into myself in self-honesty and release any other dimension that comes up.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand and stop all anger that I hold onto in relation to the memory of my mother telling me that I have no value in her life because it serves my self-interest to live in the past and victimise myself.

I commit myself to stop blaming my mother that I have programmed myself with lack of self-value.

I commit myself to stop the cycle I have created with and through the memory of my mother telling myself that I have no value in her life by extending this cycle of blame in my interactions with others when what I bring to a situation is not acknowledged the way I have projected and imagined it. 


I commit myself to stop the thought that one day my mother will value me because I have shown her tangible results as I see, realise and understand that I have released the memory and exist in a relationship with myself. 

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Day 490 - Memories of my mother pt4

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This post is a follow-up from the previous posts:





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence in my life where I allow myself to be stimulated by the memories of my mother that I have used to experience myself in lack of self-value and that motivate me to involve myself in actions from the starting point of my mind where I believe I can remedy this perception of myself through external feedback and therefore never seeing things for what they are because I have trapped myself in the dimension of self-lack. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence in my life by creating my world from the starting point of the dynamic of seeking out people who can confirm my lack of self-value program and thus using interaction to react within energy and separation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence where I accumulate skill, knowledge and information so that I can have ‘barter material’ in the lack-of-self-value program, instead of seeing the most useful way I can use this accumulated skill, knowledge, and information to create a better world for all. 

Commitment statements for all dimensions

I commit myself to learn to stand in my own value through the relationship with myself, as the living being that I am, and to live this life from the starting point of this relationship when accumulating knowledge, information, skill and experiences and when using knowledge, information, skill and experiences in the world. 

I commit myself to see my existence as valuable as interconnected entity that plays an equal part in existence as a whole. 

I commit myself to stop the fear of my value not being recognised by others through standing equal to myself within the relationship that I have with myself. 

I commit myself to stop the fear of being powerless by equating power with self-value and re-create a new relationship between power and self and value and self that has a starting point in equality and oneness. 

I commit myself to stop placing more value onto interactions with others to generate value for myself instead of valuing myself as the living being. 


I commit myself to stop placing more value onto knowledge, information, experience and skill than me as the living being.  
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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Day 489 - Memories of my mother pt3

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Here I continue from day 485 and day 487.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have looked at who I was in the moment when my mother stated to me that I had no value in her life, where I only referenced myself in this moment and neither, saw, realised or understood the perspective that my mother had having spent her childhood in the war.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced myself in this moment within the memory of my mother telling me that I have no value in her life, from the starting point of a ‘taker’ because all I have ever expected was that my parents cater to me without me considering them, their background and aspirations.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I used the memory of my mother telling me that I have no value in her life to develop the personality of self-pity and self-victimisation and have vehemently held on to both those personalities so that I continuously could blame my parents for the things that were difficult or not working in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken the memory of my mother personally and built on this memory the rest of my life through devaluing myself and seeking value through my interaction with others, by giving of myself what I thought could be of value to them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to understand self-value from my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have habituated myself with a continuous self-judgement about my interactions with the world and others which I see, realise and understand is the step that paves the way for me to devalue myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have habituated myself to self-judgement and that it has become so subtle that I don’t even notice now and therefore not allow myself to see the connection between lack of self-value and even self-punishment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have automated my physical movements so that when I am in situations where I am catering to another as I am seeking to be validated, I speed up my movements and actions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  in the moment where I am seeking self-value in a situation, to breathe faster and talk faster and steadily move more into my mind. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence because I have created a program where I seek to be valued by others which has trapped me in a cycle of being under appreciated, because as long as I am under appreciated I can continue seeking. 


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