Saturday, November 22, 2014

Day 560 - Being thrown into a new environment pt3







The writing here is a continuation from the previous post. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have focussed my interactions on the people who I had judged were nice to me, and have avoided or ignored, interacting with others especially those I felt uncomfortable with, or where the I did not receive a reciprocal body language of openness which I interpret as invitation to interact. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have developed a strategy when I enter into a new environment, and then look for people who I see as nice and like-minded, and once I have found those people, I feel save and stick to them throughout the duration of my stay. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know how to react when I enter new environments because I feel unstable inside of myself, I therefore use this instability to allow my “old” patterns” to step in and to provide the stability that I am seeking. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if and when I would insist interacting with people who I did not sense wanted to interact with me, I would have to experience rejection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fear of rejection to determine who I interact with. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret a person’s behaviour as either pro or anti- "I", and use this interpretation as a starting point for how i interact with the person.




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