Thursday, July 10, 2014

Day 544 - Living by principle no. 2 - Guided in thought and deed to bring about what is best for all






Principle of the living:

No. 2: Living by the principle of what is best for all - guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all. 


When I initially read this line of text I responded by feeling a heaviness in my body. I experienced this sentence as "a lot of responsibility" to be aware of everything I think and do, to always stir the events in my life in the direction of what it best for all -  I thought of the many decisions I make day in and day out,  how can I be aware of them all?

When I re-read the sentence I realised that in my awareness I skipped the first part of the sentence, and conveniently focussed on the latter part, the hard part, so that I could allow myself to feel the heaviness and the perceived burden of so much responsibility. So in re-reading I then realised that the first part of the sentence "by the principle"  denotes a process, a process of change that moves close and closer to becoming the principle itself.  

In my particular situation, I have noticed that I have often taken the route away from responsibility, in quite hidden and manipulative ways because I have perceived responsibility as a burden. Whenever I have to take responsibility for something I am actually quite conscientious  of all the aspects  because I take responsibility very seriously and usually the outcome is satisfactory. When it comes to interacting with other people, I would rather not take responsibility. Yet, generally speaking when taking responsibility for everything, it inevitably leads to more interaction with other humans and potential friction points where I would be confronted with myself. The way I have previously dealt with this point is that I have created an introverted personality where I do not need much interaction with others and I am quite happy, self-contained and in peace when left alone. In other words, I have denied myself the opportunities to face myself with others and have 'run away' from myself by minimising any additional responsibility and only focussing on the bare minimum.  

Since I have become aware that this construct/programming exists as dominant factor in my life, I have taken deliberate steps to walk out of it. Though I realise that this is an ongoing process as I am often surprised how far I have accepted escape as an option to solve a problem.

On the other hand, I have seen that I have the capacity to direct problems quite well, to the best outcome for all, which has been an interesting walk in real life, and has shown me that this fear of responsibility has a lot to do with an energy of anticipation, based on memories of my childhood in particular, when I interacted with my mother. 

So, clearly, there is path to walk with this principle to live my utmost potential in pushing myself to guide my thinking and doing towards what is best for all, taking the responsibility to steadily chisel away on the aspects of my programming that I use to hold myself back. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility to steadily guide myself in all aspects of my life towards the solutions that are best for all because I see, realise and understand that this means I must let go of the self-interest in not wanting to take responsibility for myself, for others and for everything that it here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I don't have what it takes to be so focussed on directing my thoughts and deeds all the time towards that is best for all, because I anticipate from myself perfection in the outcome, instead of realising that this is a path I am walking and that pushing myself is what I am committing to, here in every moment, and not allowing my mind to interfere by looking towards the outcome of my efforts. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself overwhelmed when committing to the principle to produce outcomes to problems that are best for all because I believe that I have too much going in my life to cover all thoughts and deeds of my daily involvement which I realise is a self-manipulation to step away from taking responsibility. 

I commit myself to take responsibility to live BY the principle of producing thoughts, actions and solutions in a consistent manner that are best for all. 

I commit myself to target the areas in my life where I insist on keeping myself locked up and trapped to not take responsibility and to hold onto energy and programs that cannot produce outcomes that are best for all. 



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