Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Day 537 "I have to make a decision" - The desire for a solution pt1

Recently I was in a situation where I noticed that when pressed to make a decision to solve a problem I had the tendency to focus on the problem and myself within the problem, not considering others who are part of the problem and the solution. 

Once I noticed this point, I was able to slow myself down and correct it. However, when I did a recap of major problem stages in my life and how I dealt with these, I became aware that in previous situations, I made decisions from an emotional state not understanding the nature of the situation in its detail and acting from an incomplete picture of how all the elements of the situation come together. So basically making decisions from assumptions that I mistook as real circumstances.

The blockage that I experienced through the emotional charge made it impossible for me to see how my decisions affected others. To a large extend I saw others as part of the problem. In other words, I was limited in seeing the true nature of the problem and all its elements because I took it personal and projected the problem on the individuals who shared the situation with me. This is how I reasoned myself through the decision and justified my stance closing myself to understanding how my behaviour and decisions affect those who are part of the situation. As a result I often could not figure out how I created the consequences that I did. 

This realisation came into my awareness in a recent situation where I actually made the decision without an emotional charge and by taking others into account. The result was the consequences played out as I had directed the situation so there was no unexpected surprise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear to have a say in how I look at a situation I am involved in and thus create an exclusive viewpoint which disables me to see other parts of the situation that are critical in making a decision that is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept to use fear to create a limited viewpoint of the situation from which I weigh the pro and cons, in how to best approach decision, while I ignore the fact that others will be affected by my decision. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that through fear I make decisions with consequences that provoke others into emotional states because I did not consider their level of involvement in the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up emotions involved in the act of making a decision to solve a problem because I have identified with being a victim of the situation where I cannot be responsible for others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing in other people’s shoes when making a decision to act in solving a problem situation because I fear losing my self-identification, respectively my ego. 


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