Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Day 519 - Two sides of a coin: betrayal and distrust pt2




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I am exposed I am rejected by others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when I have nothing to hide anymore, because then I can no longer maintain the distrustful character and I can no longer resent my father for having taken pictures of me in compromising situations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I would be if I could no longer be humiliated because I have stopped holding on to the memory of my father taking pictures of me in compromising situations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I have to repeat  situations of humiliation as I experienced them with my father because I experienced myself as inferior. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that inferiority and fear of exposure are related to each other because the fear can only exist within me when I believe that I am inferior to others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use comparison to create inferiority about myself and use this inferiority to maintain my fear of exposure. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear inferiority and thus pretend to be someone else because I want to be perceived as more than what I believe that I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have compared myself to children which received a positive evaluation by my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my belief of being a fraud is related to my skills.

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