Thursday, February 20, 2014

Day 515 - 'Mindjacked' backchat in the work place pt4







This self-forgiveness follows from Day 512

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that "F" will now be hostile towards me because of my reaction to "F" in our last meeting and that this hostility will come out in our next meeting and have an impact on the project. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my response to "F" in our last meeting will have consequences that affect my participation in the proposal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret my reaction because I realise that I am responsible for having allowed the building up of dishonesty and have not immediately taken steps to clear myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed because I have had a reaction in front of "F" because I took 'F's' insisting words as provocation instead of taking a deep breath and stopping myself and letting it go. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the time to clear myself before the meeting even though I am intending to give this proposal-partnership the best starting point for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not implement my intention to give this project the best starting point because i allowed myself to believe that the judgement in my mind was minor and fleeting and thus would not have any impact on my reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have evaluated a thought using my mind and have made an decision on the basis of my evaluation which I realise is a form of self-sabotage. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself in self-disappointment because I failed a great opportunity for self-change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have suppressed and limited myself in my situation with "F" by not making a decision in the moment to stand up within myself and stop my backchat but instead gave in to my automated mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my mind to diminish myself when I don't make use of situations as with the meeting with "F" where my buttons were pushed in relation to someone's religious perception, and where I deny myself to step out of my memory about these types of perceptions which were shown to me by my parents and relatives and which create abuse and limitation in my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that backchat festers and will always come up and out at some later point in time unless I take responsibility for it.




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