Saturday, February 8, 2014

Day 506 - Memories of my mother pt17





I was just about to start writing out the commitment statements on my last point of "memories of my mother in relation to power" when I realised that one memory was still quite charged and so I am dedicating this post and the following one to releasing further energetic charges on a memory….


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself permission to release all energetic charges on the memory of my parents telling my that I was just a child and that my outlook/perspective/opinion did not count because it was coming from a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I will be in a situation again, professionally or in my private relationships, where I am discounted because of some kind of label.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the helplessness I was experiencing when my parents would tell me that I don’t count because I am a child. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the anger I was experiencing when my parents would tell me that I don't count because I am a child. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the inner conflict that ensues when I was told as a child that my view is not included because I was a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear labels because I believe that labels are dangerous to me since they can be used against me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear responsibility because I was told that I cannot be responsible because I am a child - which is lodged in the memory of my parents that I don’t count because I am just a child. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the memory of my parents telling me that I am just a child to program myself to endure situations rather than seeking to change them because I believe I cannot change them because of the labels I have attached to myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the memory of my parents telling that my view does not count because I am just a child, to trust others and not myself because I have programmed myself on the basis of this memory that I do not have the power (label) to be trusted. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have equated power of self with a label and so have projected my own power onto labels and have therefore tried to attain labels in society to make myself believe that I have power. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used to imagine being powerful when I have sufficient labels under my belt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that power can be accumulated instead of realising that power of self is intrinsic to self and can only be suppressed, sabotaged and misguided through education, parents as role models and beliefs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought when I was a child where I see the face of my mother or my father from above coming close to my face and telling me with big teeth that I must shut up because I am just a child and “you have nothing to say here”. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used this thought by etching it into my memory so that I keep myself from standing up in the world and in my life, not realising that my personal power is always accessible to me because it is who I am.

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