Thursday, January 2, 2014

Day 486 - Testing myself on New Year with the Chinese Zodiac pt1



Prior to having an understanding about how the mind-consciousness system works, I read the yearly prediction of the Chinese Zodiac at the beginning of each year. So right about now. I was looking for sites that I could believe were authentic. These particular sites would go into the complicated system of 'lucky element' and 'lucky number' and so forth. Of course I have no clue about the workings of the Chinese Zodiac, and the more complicated it seemed the more satisfied I was with what I found, and the more trustworthy I felt about the information I would get about myself. I would go as far as going through the interactive application where I could select my birth-date, -place and -hour to get a custom-made response. Well, we all know there is a whole industry behind these types of belief "symbolism-systems".

After I got into process,  I shun these types of sites because I realised that we use them to keep ourselves locked in place, in our pre-programmed design. We interpret what we read from the starting point of our programmed reality and thus make the predications come true. These days I test myself by going to these sites to see if I still react to them. What I mean by reacting is that I react to the words that I read and that supposed to predict my future. I react to them with emotions as if the words were true, as if I had nothing to say as to what happens to me or how I go about living my life. It's the basic idea of a god, that there is something or someone who directs me like a puppet on a string. What my reaction indicates to me is that I still do not want to take responsibility for myself because I am perfectly capable to direct myself through the use of the tools that support me to step out of my mind and the programs that I have accepted as me. 


Problem:

So, when I tested myself for this year and I saw that I still react to the descriptions that tell me that I am not compatible with the animal symbol of the year and 'bad' things will happen to me. 


Solution: 

Self-forgiveness on reading and reacting to the predictions of this year:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is an entity that is responsible for how I move and direct myself in the world so that my behaviour in the world is completely predictable. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not far enough in process that I no longer act from my preprogrammed design and that this is the reason why I react with emotions when reading the Chinese Zodiac of this year. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that energy is stronger than me and thus I cannot stop generating energy for the mind-consciousness system and with this belief I have already given up on changing myself to live without energy. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up on myself because I believe that taking responsibility for myself through walking my process of breathing and self-forgiveness is much bigger than me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up on myself because in my interactions with others I experience difficulties in form of reactions and so by reading my Chinese Zodiac for the year, I have strengthened the belief that I could never walk out of my reactions to others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a system (the Chinese Zodiac) even though I do not understand how it works, where it really comes from, if the information I am reading is authentic and correct so forth - which in common sense makes no sense to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly trust a system (the Chinese Zodiac) instead of trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I believe that writing self-forgiveness and walking the correction is too much and I don't have the time to accomplish this work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the justifications of my mind when in reality I do not want to let go of my creation - namely the creation as "I". 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not want let go of the creation that is I because I experience fear of loss. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of the creation that is I because I fear that I fail to re-create myself anew in equality and oneness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of the creation that is I and that I justify this thought with backchat, that bad living is better than no living because I believe that when I let go of the creation that is I, I will die. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of the creation that is I because I fear that my world will fall apart, and I believe that my life will be harder, tougher, worse, and more negative if I let go of the world that I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too old to change my behaviour and that therefore reading about what is supposed to be coming my way is the safer route to go than taking responsibility to change myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I cannot imagine who I will be when my world falls apart when I let go of the creation that is I and because I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I let go of the creation that is I, I instead hold on to the creation that is I. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that the changes I have already made in my life were just an illusion and so I create self-doubt to hold onto the creation that is I.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that death is the worst thing that can happen to me and that I use this thought to justify holding on to the creation that is I. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that without the creation of myself that is I, all the 'good' parts of I are going to be gone as well. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that the creation that is I is related to knowledge and information. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that my life as I have already created it will not change even if I change myself and thus there is no use in letting go of the creation that is I.


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