Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Day 457 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt8

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In this post I am continuing with my previous series as it is outlined in this post:


Day 450 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt1


and continued here:

Day 451 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt2

Day 452 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt3

Day 453 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt4

Day 454 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt5

Day 455 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt6

Day 456 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt7




Reaction dimension


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger as I am standing in the classroom watching the scene and recording the teacher-student interactions because I judge the teacher's behaviour as negative and because I draw on my own memory from when I was a pupil and felt helpless towards the teacher's request in my understanding of the tasks and the teacher's expectations.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger because I realise that what I experienced as a pupil has not changed today, regardless of all the tools (technologies) we bring to the teaching/learning experience and for this I blame the teachers because I do not want to admit to myself that I am as responsible as the teachers, for this situation and that I don't want to see that every time I encounter a situation where I don't want to change I am supporting this situation - as all is one.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with disgust about the situation that I am observing where teachers are judging and discouraging pupils because they do not meet the criteria of "un- communicated" instructions of a task and because I have the urge to step in and stop the situation because I trigger myself emotionally watching the pupils facial and physical responses.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with a condescending stance towards the teachers I observe because I do not want to accept and admit that I am just like those teachers and that I have denied myself to change because I first must accept that there is no separation between me and the teachers.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger because the teachers remind me of my mother who similarly did not specify her communication and similarly was never content with what I did.



Commitments:

When and as I observe teacher-student interactions, I stop myself from going into my memory and compare myself to the pupil(s) that I am observing because I realise that I use this situation to trigger reactions. I commit myself to take responsibility for the situation and to stop myself drawing on my memory when I am in any teacher-student and teaching/learning environment.


When and as I react in anger to todays teaching/learning situation, I stop myself and breathe, I do not allow myself to accept blaming others for the world that we have created and I therefore take responsibility to push myself and step past my accepted limitations and change. I commit myself to steadily push myself to affect self-change.


When and as I react in anger and want to blame the teachers for not communicating their expectations to the students, I stop myself and breathe, I look inside of myself and find all situations/areas where i do not communicate my expectations to others and then release those points via self-forgiveness and self-corrective behaviour. I commit myself to bring the points back to self.


When and as I react to teachers in anger, I stop and breathe, I realise that by creating a separation I am fundamentally the problem because to change what we have allowed and accepted, I first must accept that I am no different than anyone else in this world. I commit myself to stand equal to each member of humanity.


When and as I react to teachers because they remind me of my mother, I stop and breathe and realise that I still hold onto blame in regards to my mother and so I bring back the points to self and keep walking the release from blaming my mother for my childhood experience. I commit myself to work towards becoming a total equal to my parents.
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Monday, November 18, 2013

Day 456 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt7

- 1 comments





In this post I am continuing with my previous series as it is outlined in this post:


Day 450 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt1


and continued here:

Day 451 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt2

Day 452 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt3

Day 453 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt4


Day 454 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt5


Day 455 - The first steps of learning the inability to communicate pt6



Today I will write on the imagination dimension


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I could be a better teacher by comparing myself to the teachers that I am in communication with and that I am seeing in the course of my research, not realising that teaching primary education is not related to my teaching experience and that in this context my imagination serves me to elevate myself from a point of ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that education can be turned around by creating a teaching body that teaches in self-awareness, whereby I am not seeing that parents also need to be made aware of how we have programmed ourselves and that it takes effort and work to walk through one's pre-programed design to become self-directed life in every moment and that I myself are only at the beginning of this process. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that teaching primary students would be much easier than teaching undergrads because primary students are more willing to cooperate and are less rebellious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how the teachers caused the students to suffer from low self-esteem and confidence because of addressing the students within competition and evaluation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how the teachers must suffer themselves from insecurity and lack of self-esteem. 



Commitments:

When and as I imagine again that my teaching approach is better than the teachers I observe,  I stop myself and breathe, I do not allow my ego to take a hold of me, I realise that this only serves me to feel good for a moment and keeps me trapped in the mind. I commit myself to stop my ego and ego-based actions. 

When and as I imagine that teachers should teach in self-awareness, I stop and breathe and bring the situation back to self, where I am focussing on myself to walk my life in awareness. I commit myself to stop myself from evaluating others in relation to their self-awareness and solely focus on myself. 

When and as I imagine that teaching smaller children is much easier than teenagers, I stop myself and breathe, I realise that I am making assumptions and that I am clueless about this topic. I commit myself to stop all mechanisms of comparison and walk my process breath-by-breath.

When and as I imagine that teachers cause the students to suffer, I stop and breathe, I realise that my behaviour is just the same, it causes suffering to others and I am not aware of it. I realise that judgements of this nature is just a form of blame in disguise and so I stop it. I commit myself to stop myself from blaming others and direct the focus towards myself in taking self-responsiblity to change myself and lead by example. 

[Continue reading...]
 
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