Saturday, May 4, 2013

Day 352 - Negativity drives my life pt13

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The physical dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have automated myself to exist in negativity and in that I have created a disconnect between the mind and the body, where I am so completely automated that I don't even notice that I am not the one moving my body, but that the automation is what moves me in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have, in my starting point of negativity, always moved the way my mind has been feeling comfortable within my body, and have never realised how uncomfortable my body is - when for example I sit with my legs twisted in my chair or I lie twisted in my bed, or in other situations where I impose postures on my body because they seem to be comfortable, not realising that these postures are only comfortable because I perceive it from my mind as I don't even know what it means to be comfortable as my body - because I live in separation from myself where I impose whatever my mind feels comfortable with onto my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that from my negative starting point I accept emotions as me, such as anger, anxiety, and disappointment - where I know that it affects my body because I have feedback from the various parts of my body but I'd rather keep my attachment to my negative starting point and all the outflow from it, than honouring my body as the true reality of me here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within negativity and so have automated myself to perfection, and have never once considered that I have awareness as body and have merely accepted all automation, hailing it as a benefit of human evolution without realising its true nature because the only value I have given to my physical body is to provide me with positive experiences so that I can get away from the negativity.
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Day 351 - Negativity drives my life pt12

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The reaction dimension - The reward for self

If and when I react with negativity to solutions that require me to change and therefore experience myself with apprehension and heaviness, I stop and breathe,
I realise that this is my mind holding me back to become all that I can be, and with the required self-change I step out of my mind's comfort zone and closer towards my Self as one and equal to all that is here. I commit myself to accept moving out of my comfort zone and stop fighting myself and holding back so that I can keep myself attached to negativity, where I feel comfortable through self-automation.

If and when I want to react to activities towards which I am negatively inclined and where I resist and get angry about having to do them, I stop and breathe,
I realise that I am never free to decide what I want to do because as long as I operate as robot from automatic behaviour I am trapped in my memories by which I have programmed myself to react, not even knowing how and why.

If and when I react with negativity to events in the future to which I have committed myself because it was required, and therefore allow myself to build up anxiety towards the event, and as a result expect the worst, I stop and breathe, I realise that it's not about what I do but who I am in what I do. I commit myself to stop identifying myself and seeking self-value in whatever I have to do, and 'just' do it.

If and when I react to my environment with negativity because I feel entitled to blame everyone else for the state of earth, wherein I justify my anger, I stop and breathe,
I realise that this is a convenient escape from self-responsibility. I commit myself to stop my "christian" ideals (i.e. Jesus) of looking for others to carry the burden of my acceptances and allowances, and stop and become human by changing myself and thus changing this world.


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Friday, May 3, 2013

Day 350 - Negativity drives my life pt 11

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The reaction dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to solutions that require me to change with negativity and therefore experience myself with apprehension and heaviness because I have created attachment to my negativity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to activities that I have resistance towards with negativity by getting angry and annoyed about having to do them anyway because I feel that I am not free to decide what I want to do.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to myself with negativity when wanting to expand my horizon, where I then look for reasons why I can't do it and experience myself in disappointment and accepting the negativity and disappointment, not even for a moment really investigating whether my assumptions are real because I am so used to bringing my life/activities back to a negative point and living in lack and scarcity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to events in the future where I have committed myself to with negativity therefore creating anxiety about the event, with every day I create a little more anxiety so that when the event happens I have accumulated lots of anxiety, not realising that all this time I have worked myself up because of my negative starting point where I expect the worst. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my environment with negativity where I look to blame everything and everyone, which is reflected in my running commentary to myself, justifying my anger, never once realising that all of what is around me is a reflection of what and who I have become, as all is one. 
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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Day 349 - Negativity drives my life pt10

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The backchat dimension - The reward for self

If and when I have backchat about any activity that I am embarking on where I am negative from the onset - so that I can bring in the fears- I stop and breathe, I realise that I do not have to accept what my mind tells me and I stop doing so by trusting myself and accepting myself as life, equal and one to all that is here. 

I commit myself to stop believing my mind and trust myself by taking responsibility to stop believing my mind. 

If and when I use my backchat to creative a negative scenario of everything I do, so that I lower my expectation, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have allowed this mechanism to exist so that I do not have to change myself. I commit myself to stop listening to my backchat and accept myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oscillate within backchat between negative - positive - negative commentary and actually believe what my mind tells me.


If and when I accept the moving between polarisation within my backchat: negative -positive -negative, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to stop listening to my mind and focus on breathing and stating my script of self-acceptance and self-trust. 

If and when I justify that my negative backchat is useful by interpreting it as being critical towards the situation, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have trapped myself through justification in my mind, and i stop. I commit myself to enlarge my awareness every day so that I can recognise my justification for negativity and stop it through breathing and self-trust. 

If and when I believe that negative backchat keeps me save, I stop and breathe, I realise that this safety is an illusion that I have habituated myself and that is why it is safe. I commit myself to stop trapping myself through my habituate ways.

If and when I believe that negativity is my truth, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have accepted the limitation of negativity as truth. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that all that originates from my mind must stop because it is a limitation.


If and when I judge my backchat as negative, I stop and breathe, I realise that I am stuck in polarisation - as I am my backchat - that is why I m judging myself as positive or negative. I commit myself to stop judging myself and others and step out of the polarisation cycle. 

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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Day 348 - Negativity drives my life pt9

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.


The backchat dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my backchat: "it's never going to work, I am too weak, too old, too busy, too preoccupied .... to stop my mind."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my backchat to create a negative scenario of everything I do, so that I lower my expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oscillate within backchat between negative - positive - negative commentary and actually believe what my mind tells me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the debating voices in my backchat, each representing one polarisation, either negative or positive, that I allow to "drown" myself in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that negative backchat is being critical towards the situation, not realising that this is a justification to keep my backchat intact and me believing that I am doing the "right" thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have negative backchat and believe that it's saver this way.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that negativity in my backchat is the truth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my backchat as negative. 




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Day 347 - Negativity drives my life pt8

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In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The imagination dimension - The reward for self


If and when I want to believe that a situation is 'under control' when I am in control about every detail, I stop and breathe, I realise that I am driven by self-interest and that that places me in competition with all where I am unable to see another's perspective and the long term consequences I create for myself and others.

I commit myself to stop the idea that I am in control about the external world and turn inward to stop my mind.

If and when I hang out in my imagination and who I would be once I leave all negativity behind, I stop and breathe and realise that this is merely my mind wanting to indulge in my imagination so that I don't get up and do the work of changing myself in every breath.
I commit myself to stop my imagination entirely until I have mastered my thoughts.


If and when I reason with myself to stay away from others I stop and breathe, I realise that the reverse is true, and that i must stop all separation by stopping to focus on the difference between myself and others and embracing the commonalities.
I commit myself to stop all participation in separating acts, to separate myself from others.


If and when I imagine that things will be alright for me in the future, I realise that this is me wanting to hold onto the mechanisms of producing energetic charges. I stop and breathe, I commit myself to stop myself as a thought machine for energy production.


If and when I don't want to experience myself as unfulfilled and unsatisfied, I stop and breathe, and realise that this is the starting point for the next energy fix. I commit myself to stop judging my state of being through my emotions.

If and when I believe that I am bored when I no longer engage in the energy cycle (negative-positive-negative), I stop and breathe I realise that this is my mind fearing loss. I commit myself to not judge what I am going to be experiencing when I step out of the energy cycle (negative-positive-negative).


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Monday, April 29, 2013

Day 346 - What is old is useless because it no longer functions - I commit to change...

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In the last post I wrote about my awareness towards thoughts/behaviours that go on inside of me when I am interacting with old people. This was quite a surprise to me! Under the veneer of politeness I saw the nastiness that I have accepted as me, and had previously never been self-honest enough to even notice it in awareness. The title of the post is what triggered this awareness - when I realised that I had automated myself in the belief that all that is old does not function properly. I continue in this post by releasing a few memories and then move on to the self-commitment statements. 


Memories:

If forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of grandmother A where I am a small child and I am staying with her, and her house is cluttered with lots of stuff everywhere, which I experience as heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A complaining about her health, and within this I remember her particular smell, her ways of walking bent over, and within myself I cannot understanding why she does not change herself to feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A where I am staying with her and I am puzzled why she needs so much stuff and I do not understand what all the stuff is for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of grandmother A when I was a small child where I was appalled by the dustiness in her apartment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A where I am a small child and I do not understand why she is not moving much and always tired.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from old, smelly, dusty, broken, cheap and useless through defining old, smelly, dusty, broken, cheap and useless in the memory of my grandmother A when I was staying with her as a small child.



Self-commitment statements:


If and when I see or interact with old people and I believe that they are stuck in their ways, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have made this my starting point for the interaction and this is why I cannot hear them because based on this belief I don’t take old people seriously, and thus do not take myself seriously.

I commit to take myself seriously by accepting myself and accept that I am equal to everyone else regardless of age and gender.

If and when I see or interact with old people and I believe that they are stuck in their ways, I stop and breathe, I realise that I am not accepting my own aging process.

I commit myself to investigate how I have programmed myself to not accept getting old.

If and when judge old people because of their demon-like appearance and the decay they exhibit, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have identified with the youth-cult which is just a marketing scheme because younger people are more driven by energy and that equals buying power - and in that have rejected the looks of old people, not realising that these old people where once young and that without old people there are no young people around - and thus all ages are one and equal no matter of their appearance.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand the common sense in our current aging process: where each human has a beginning and an end and that these are stages that are marked with a physical appearance.

If and when I fear being in proximity of an old person because of how I interpret their appearance as decay, I stop and breathe, I stop all fear of death and realise that the loss I perceive is of themind only and does not exist as all is one, and that I allowing myself to be triggering through the picture that I see before me.
I commit myself to stop my fear of death.

If and when I equate ‘old age’ with ‘no value’, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have programmed myself with this relationship - from memories and also because I realise that wisdom does not exist in this world and that it does not come with age.

I commit myself to value life as life and not as physical appearance based on aging.

If and when I believe that old people no longer have “potential” to walk themselves out of their mind, I realise that I regret not having done much more earlier in my life when I was searching for answers and fell into the love & light trap, and within this I see the point of age from the perspective of negativity, of not being ‘enough’ - not realising that walking out of the mind is not a performance of some kind and that it requires writing and breathing.

I commit myself to stop equating process with the measures of the mind.

If and when I want to blame those who have gone before me for the state of the world, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have been recycled many times and have had the opportunity to changemyself and the system but have never done so - thus I am using victimhood to avoid responsibility for what I have participated in creating with everyone else.

I commit myself to stop all victimhood and take responsibility for everything that is here.


If and when I equate “old” with “no longer functions” I stop and breathe, I realise that I have programmed myself with this belief due to memories and I stop the thought that relates age with functionality.

I commit myself to stop all beliefs, one-by-one, breath-by-breath, through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.
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