Friday, February 15, 2013

Day 275 - Wherever I go I am able to respond as self

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Here I follow up with self-commitment statements on the point I applied self-forgiveness to in the previous post.


I commit myself to stop myself from constructing thoughts around a situation that I responded to within my capability and ability to respond.

I commit myself to practice "acting from the place of self", as the being, the physical breathing entity that is here in shared time and space.

I commit myself to stop interpreting my ability to respond from multiple perspectives and centralise my ability to respond to come from me as being equal and one to all that is here.

I commit myself to stop "working" out backwards, from the outcome, what my ability to respond should be, by looking at how I want the outcome to be, and thus adapting my "ability to respond" accordingly. I realise that estimating the outcome and working out backwards my ability to respond is done from fear and emotion, it is me acting within predictive programming.

I commit myself to stop speculating on the future, and future events, and move myself from the moment of breath that is here - and apply myself within in my ability to respond accordingly.

I commit myself to stand equal to the word responsibility.

I commit myself to stop making responsibility a habit to respond to situations in ways that I have always responded to, but to look at each situation individually, and make this act, this act of seeing anew and fresh, the habitual approach to all situations I can respond to.

I commit myself to write this point out until I am empty and experience physical release from writing.

I commit myself to respond to my programming in the physical, to learn to practice self-forgiveness from within the beingness that I am, in the centre of my physical body, and use the in- and out-breath to write myself out in awareness. 
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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 274 - Responsibility begins and ends with me being able to respond

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I continue what I started on day 271Here I am looking at my ability to respond without creating illusions or projections from within my responsibility. In other words, taking action in form of responding to a situation by standing equal to all the elements of the situation, and letting the outcome, future developments, wishes etc go. When there is no "aftermath" to my ability to respond it precludes self-interest. It means literally to respond from life - give as you like to receive, which translates to give life as you would like to get life. I recommend listening to Anu's interview on this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my ability to respond to try to get what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see myself - as self-interest - in my ability to respond, and never the whole situation with all components.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made responsibility the centre of my polarisation where I either stand as superior but mostly as inferior to my ability to respond to a situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made my ability to respond dependent on what others do or don't do therefore using self-rightgeousness, morality, and self distrust as "shields" from the purity of "being able to respond", a simple and straightforward matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project into the future the way I want my responsibility to pan out in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself from within my ability to respond and create illusions in my mind that build upon my actions, and thus I use and abuse that which is real to construct that which is unreal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that "responding to the situation" is where the situation stops in reality and all thoughts that lead to more scenarios are the parallel unreal mental space that I choose to live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust that which is unreal and build my ability to respond on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the word responsibility bigger than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself physically under pressure when using the word responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a world where responsibility has been a synonym for imprisoned relationships where individuals hold each other hostage through the word responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a belief that responsibility is a static component of life, where once I have responsibility I need to maintain a situation in certain 'state', and within this I have misused responsibility to create stagnation and through this stagnation abuse and entrapment of myself and others. While this 'mechanism' is lived in individual relationships it is also lived within the world of our economic reality, where we believe that we are being responsible if we maintain the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that responsibility has to come from within each moment of breath and is therefore a process of accumulation and is NOT a process from bringing the past here by acting in order to respond from memory and from that which is absent.
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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 273 - My ability to respond is here

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This post is a continuation from the previous two posts.


I commit myself to live a life where I am able and capable to respond in all situations that I move myself into.

I commit myself to live a life where I stop seeing myself exempt from my ability to respond to the context of the situation I move myself into and to create a future for all who are part of my context that is best for all living beings.

I commit myself to stop my reactions, feelings and emotions so that I stop the "veil" which preoccupies me and which hinders me from seeing reality as is, instead of seeing it through the lenses of my past on the one hand, which is merely the programs that I have accepted myself to become on the basis of my memories and environment, and the lenses of my future, on the other hand, which encapsulate the picture I have of myself and through which I determine my desires, wants and needs.

I commit myself to keep walking the point of responsibility until I have exhausted every possible angle of how I try to manipulate my innate ability to respond through the use of my physical body so that at the end of this journey I stand free from fear and ego and direct myself from a place of oneness, where my individual contribution is my ability to create earth as a habitat that is best for all.

I commit myself to keep asking the question "what is my responsibility here?", each day, until I understand how I have abdicated my ability to respond and have created myself through predictive programming which has brought me to the situation where I find myself today.

I commit myself to to walk the accumulation where I widen and extend my ability to respond in my process, as well as in support of others in their process, my relationships and my work.

I commit myself to take on my resistances in all areas instead of hiding myself in my mind through justifications and excuses - and I do so by exposing myself to self-honesty. 
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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Day 272 - Releasing my inability to respond

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created fear around the point of responsibility and therefore I see responsibility as a way to control my environment, rather than seeing it to simply ensure that I have the prerequisite in place to be able to respond when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider taking responsibility for myself in all the various situations I move in as a burden and thus I look to get relief from my responsibilities by off loading it onto others where I want another to do the necessary preparation and implementation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my father waving his finger in front of my face in various situations that he thought of as dangerous even though they did not seem dangerous to me and telling me if anything happens to you it's my responsibility and me programming myself in response with the understanding that being responsible means I am able to control my environment and the people in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define loss, burden, control and dependency in the memory of my father waving his finger in front of my face and telling me that if anything happens to me it is his responsibility and thus separating myself from loss, burden, control and dependency and living these words in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that loss, burden, control and dependency are here as me, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others and thus to fear responsibility and because I fear others I only understand responsibility from the point of control and as separation from others, and separating myself from responsibility - therefore only managing fear through control and calling it responsibility. 
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Day 271 - I don't want that responsibility

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I noticed that there are aspects to my life where I do not take responsibility or I allow myself to not take responsibility as a way to relax from all my responsibilities. This point of letting another take responsibility while I relax can be in very small ways, for example letting someone else navigate the way that is neither known to me nor to them. Already, I see in the usage of my words, "letting another take responsibility for navigating us" that I have an idea of responsibility, which is more about controlling my environment and less about my ability to respond. My ability to respond, in case of the point described above, requires for me to have the information of where I am going - this is the enabler for my ability to respond. Other situations will be predicated by different "materials or information" as building blocks for me to respond - for me to be responsible. In the example above, it's clear that I need preparation, that is looking up the streets that will lead to the destination where I and my partner want to go to. In the actual situation I did not look up the path and I only bothered to ask my partner if he knew how to get to our destination, and then I followed.

So what is the difference between controlling my environment and being able to respond to my environment? When controlling my environment, I still need to go through the motion of gathering the information, but then I place a 1:1 ratio on getting the information and executing the information without considering the context of the situation. It's about me forging a path with the information instead of collaboratively stitching it together as part of the fabric of interaction. The controlling point is the self-interest approach, I get (the information) I apply (the information), whereas as a responsible being I get (the information) I have the information at my disposal when needed. This leaves room for sharing with others who also have information that gives them the ability to respond. Therefore, to take responsibility means to be an equal contributor to a situation by making sure that I have what it takes to respond.

Similarly, I noticed that professionally I stay away from certain roles that demand responsibility because "I don't want to get involved - it's too much responsibility". I rather stay where I am and not bother. While I recognise this as backchat and beliefs, it clearly shows, again, that I have a misconception about what it means to be responsible versus controlling. So therefore when I feel I can't control the situation and will have potential problems that might fall back on me, I avoid the situation all together. Ah... Time to let it go!



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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Day 270 - The caffeine-addict pt4

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Here I am posting the self-commitment statements on the THOUGHT dimension of my coffee addiction.


I commit myself to stop pictures coming up in my mind when I hear the word coffee and smell coffee being freshly brewed.

I commit myself to stop accepting ideas about coffee which appear to me in pictures or in unfulfilled desires and realise that I am not the picture, I stand one and equal to whatever picture related to coffee appears in my mind.

I commit myself to stop all self-negating thoughts on quitting to drink coffee.

I commit myself to stop the picture of making coffee at home a source to fuel my desire for coffee.

I commit myself to stand one and equal to all types of coffee and do not use my preference to one coffee over another to trap myself into drinking coffee.

I commit myself to realise that my desire to have coffee is here because I believe that coffee can make me feel better and that I work better with coffee, which is a pattern I have created through a belief system.

I commit myself to walk through this addiction and get to the bottom of all of my addictions until I stand addiction-free.


I commit myself to stop all suppression about me not accepting myself as I am and what I look like, and use coffee to glance over this point instead of facing it here as me in the physical. 

I commit myself to investigate the deeper point of suppression that I am experiencing and allowing to manifest via my coffee addiction. 
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Day 269 - The caffeine-addict pt3

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This post is a continuation from the previous one - here I am adding self-forgiveness on the THOUGHT dimension of my coffee addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have picture within me where I am working and getting a lot of stuff done, and I am happy about that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me drinking coffee and being able to talk with ease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me where I am exhausted and tired at first and after having had a cup of coffee I am all perky and "up and running".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me wanting to drink coffee and finally getting to drink coffee and when doing so experience a sense of release.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to make up drinking a lot of coffee by drinking lemon juice with water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I am "incomplete" because I have not had coffee yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I am going to sleep with a smile because I am happy that I will have coffee the next morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I am standing in front of a counter ordering the most delicious coffee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I am tasting a bunch of exquisite coffees in a store.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I have perfected the way to make coffee using just the right tools and just the right amount of coffee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where my arms are raised up as if I am in a winner pose while sitting on a coffee table with a coffee in front of me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where I am overloaded with work and drink a coffee to sort myself out and get ready to do the work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself where the mountain of my work does not get smaller no matter how much I work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have picture of myself where I am uncomfortable with myself physically as well as me as an image in the mirror, and cover up this "feeling" by drinking coffee. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of myself where I am drinking my first coffee and am disappointed about the taste but drink it nevertheless because I want to be a grown up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself define sophistication, being an adult, and being accepted within the memory of me drinking my first cup of coffee and being disappointed about the taste but drink the coffee nevertheless because I want to be a grown up. 


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