Thursday, February 7, 2013

Day 268 - The caffeine-addict pt2

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I continue from my previous post on my addiction to coffee and tea. In this post I commit myself....


I commit myself to stop my habit because I take responsibility for my body and what I have created within my body through thinking.

I commit myself to not allow myself to begin this path of stopping my caffeine addiction from "having to stop because someone else says so"- as I have done in the past.

I commit myself to see realise and understand that stopping is not giving up "something I love" but it is "acting in common sense" and see, realise and understand that seeing it any other way is believing my thoughts.

I commit myself to stop comparing myself to others who are drinking coffee and are advocating that coffee drinking is OK, or that it is a misconception in terms of how it affects body, because I see, realise and understand that stopping to drink caffeinated drinks is particular to my situation and that I am doing this for MYSELF.

I commit myself to stop creating thoughts around this point by breathing every time ideas about coffee come up within me.

I commit myself to stop making this a big deal, as in having dreams about coffee, and generating anxiety about not being able to drink coffee, and thus feeding the desire to have coffee and tea in my life.

I commit myself to find an alternative drink that I like and that has health benefits for me.

I commit myself to stop lamenting "coffee as cultural element" where I believe that just because I am no longer drinking coffee I have become some kind of outcast. 
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Day 267 - The caffeine-addict pt1

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My homeopath told me again that I should stop drinking caffeinated drinks. I recently went from drinking coffee to drinking tea. I realise that I am addicted. Already years ago, I quit drinking alcohol and even further back I quit smoking cigarettes. Coffee or tea I have not quit since I was a teenager. Now is the time, if I want my health to improve, I've got to let go of the addiction, it's a mental point, it's a thought, it's a fear....


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a caffeinated drink when I get up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that not drinking coffee will make me miss the taste.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a life without a rush.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no longer be able to engage into my ritual of making myself a cup of tea and then start working.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that whenever I go out and meet other people there will be nothing I can drink.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I can't resist not drinking coffee when I smell my partner's coffee in the morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I won't be able to work as much as I work now because I often get tired, which I fix by drinking coffee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this addiction because I believe that it will be difficult to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that even when I stop drinking coffee my health will still be the same and all the withdrawal I will be experiencing was in vain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the potential withdrawal symptoms when I stop drinking caffeinated drinks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I won't have coffee as a remedy for when I eat too much.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a drink left for my breaks, and can no longer look forward to my coffee break.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bored with all the rest of the beverages that are out there as a substitute for coffee.


[Continue reading...]

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day 266 - The Pre-emptive Character - Self-Commitment

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After having written the self-forgiveness statements on day 265, I am now writing out the self-commitment statements.


I commit myself that if and when I realise that I am thinking, I stop myself from going into the pre-emptive character by breathing and putting my awareness into my feet and hands.

I commit myself that if and when I have thoughts that are self-defeating and self-diminishing, I stop myself by saying stop and breathe - I accept whatever else happens as part of me and stop going into fear.

I commit myself to further investigate where I am still holding onto the picture I have of myself which causes me to hold onto to desire.

I commit myself to further investigate the fears I have to be here without goal, without desire, without direction - so that I can let go of the need to create attachment to things, people, ideas, and activities.

I commit myself to stop the mechanisms of filtering my thoughts and attaching labels to them for further processing.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that backchat is who I am even though it is automated, I take responsibility for having allowed and accepted the initial formation of programs, and thus the thoughts by responding and reacting to the situations I experienced through my emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to uncover and release all hidden and not so hidden self-manipulation tactics that I deploy in the belief that I must do all I can to get what I want.

I commit myself to stop all fears that preoccupy myself over the loss of my mind by consistently applying myself to be here in breath.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that self-manipulation causes me to separate instead of bringing all parts of self together as one.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I may encounter more times than not ways of self-manipulation but see, realise and understand that I have the self-directive application at my disposal to stand up, stop, and breathe.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that as long as I am disappointed with myself I am still working from a picture of expectations instead of being here one and equal to all aspects of me.

I commit myself to stop myself from judging myself in "how I walk my process" and bring myself back to the simplicity of breathing.
[Continue reading...]

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Day 265 - The Pre-emptive Character, or how to set up a filter within myself that yells "fire"

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I realise that I have created another character that wants to stop backchat and expectations because I realise that through the voices in my head and the projection of how I want my future to be, I am manipulating myself to not get what I want. So, to ensure that I get what I want this character comes in like a filter and flags the thoughts for me that have "self-defeating properties", alerting me to stop the thought but not from the starting point of breath but from the starting point of fear of unfulfilled desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a character that is becoming alert of the moments when I realise that I am thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a created a character that flags for me the thoughts that have "self-defeating properties" and labels these as “dangerous to my desire”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a character that through the filtering of my thoughts and labelling them as dangerous creates emotional charges of fear and anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a character that responses to these anxieties by quicklying searching for diversion, to concentrate on my work for example, or to do something practical that will allow me submerge or extinguish the “dangerous to my desire” thoughts quickly and move me off this "line of thinking".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a character that is dishonest, in where I am looking to underhandedly manipulate myself within my self-manipulation to get what it is that I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a created a character that utilises anxiety which I realise has been a point I have charged a lot in the past, and is a point I have been walking in the recent months.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into believing that there is common sense in this approach because I believe that if I walk in breath I will never get to do the things I want to do - thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep my attachment to the picture of myself instead of standing equal and one to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that creating anxiety towards my own backchat and future projections will create another dimension of separation instead of standing equal to my backchat and future projections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised in this self-manipulation I am showing to myself that I do not accept my backchat/future projections as me, as who I am and thus I do not accept that the world is abusive and corrupt, and within that I realise that my non-acceptance of the reality "as is" means that I do not want to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this realisation with disappointment in myself because I realise that I have cheated myself to get what I want. 
[Continue reading...]

Monday, February 4, 2013

Day 264 - Train ride: don't sit next to me pt7

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In this post I am concluding the self-forgiveness statements with the PHYSICAL and CONSEQUENCE dimensions on the train ride experience I started to deconstruct on day 258.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically react to the people, especially at a train stop when people are coming on the train, when I lower my head and bury my gaze in my work to pretend that I am totally engrossed and cannot be bothered in any way.

I commit myself to stop acting and manipulating others through the use of my phsyical body postures, gestures and facial expressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically react to people on the train by looking for the seat that is least encumbered, or by looking for a seat that is near someone who i have evaluated as healthy and busy with their own stuff.

I commit myself to stop evaluating others based on their physical experience and treat everyone as equal, whereby I use common sense and find a place to sit which is most suitable for working.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically react to people on the train by sometimes coughing, when people come onto the train, as they are looking for a place to sit, so that I scare people away and secure my own comfort.

I commit myself to stop manipulation of others by pretending that i am sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allwoed myself to physically react to people on the train by crossing my legs and holding my body tight like a rock, with my muscles tense and my body posture leaning forward as if wanting to protect myself.

I commit myself to stop tensing myself up in expectation of the expereince of riding on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the consequence is an unpleasant train ride where I am creating resistance to the experience and potentially sabotage getting on the train instead to acting from oneness and equality.

I commit myself to stop judging the train ride as “package of experience” and stop creating predictions as to what the train ride is going to be like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I draw on the anger energies i have created for myself and thus time loop on this point until I can stand as an equal.

I commit myself to stop creating an angry situation for myself. I just breathe and stand equal to "riding on the train". It’s that simple.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consequentially use the train ride as self-abuse, as in activation of flu etc, through belief that others make me sick, and thoughts that consume my flesh.

I commit myself to stop self-abuse and breathe, breathe, breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consequentially use the train situation to perpetuate my separation and keep myself trapped in my mind.

I commit myself to use the train situation to stop myself in breath. Yay!
[Continue reading...]

Day 263 - Train ride: don't sit next to me pt6

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Here I am taking on the REACTION dimension of my train ride experience. To get a situational perspective please read day 258 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the people in the train where I take a fundamental stance of separation and that when I am being touched by someone I react by retracting, moving myself away, or looking to escape from where I am sitting or standing.

I commit myself to stop the starting point of separation when I am on the train. If and when some movement between myself and another person occurs in any form, I stop and breathe and treat the person as equal. I see myself in the other person as a person riding the train with the same needs for comfort.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to the people in the train in anger as my default where I don’t accept that these people are also in the same position as me and thus I am unable to see the entire ride in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to stop my anger, and take responsibility for what I have collectively created and “use” my the acceptance of this situation as a manner to motivate myself in recreating myself as being of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the people on the train and their bodies where I am looking for signs of “imperfection” on their body to create aversion within myself so that I can justify to separate myself even more.

I commit to stop looking for signs of decay, self-abuse and deterioration and realise that I have accepted this program as part of the Western ideal of perfection - and stop all self-manipulation to experience aversion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the people on the train in “combat” mode, where when I am getting on the train I am prepared to face the worst, and therefore have an attitude of needing to protect myself from others.

I commit myself to stop my predisposition that I have to protect myself from others when riding the train. 
[Continue reading...]
 
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