Saturday, December 21, 2013

Day 473 - Motivation and self-will pt3









In the last two posts I wrote the prelude to the self-forgiveness that I will start with in this post:


Day 471 - Motivation and self-will pt1

Day 472 - Motivation and self-will pt2



Fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the state I am in if I don't have an objective that I use to motivate myself because I identify myself with reaching my goals as this allows me to forget about the rest of the world and the state of affairs which I consider myself powerless towards. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I cannot become aware of the elements in the outcomes that I attach the picture I have of myself onto because I sabotage myself and keep the relationships towards these elements hidden so that I cannot change and release the mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that stopping motivation will cause me to create problems in my work situation where I fear that without motivation specific responsibilities won't be met by me if I stop approaching my work without motivation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I cannot just exist without having a focus or purpose somewhere that I can draw energy from to move myself forward in my life, because whenever I have used self-will to move myself, I am faced with resistance and consider what I have to do as tedious and lose interest. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself to the lack of self-will, when acting without the emotion that fuels my motivation, because I believe that I will falter and that the part of me that I consider strong (to get stuff done) is not real because I have lied to myself since I have re-lied all my life on the emotion that motivates me. 

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