Saturday, December 14, 2013

Day 467 - My relationship with a virus pt5




This post is a continuation from the previous posts. Read pt1 for context. 


Day 463 - My relationship with a virus pt1

Day 464 - My relationship with a virus pt2

Day 465 - My relationship with a virus pt3


Day 466 - My relationship with a virus pt4



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about Z where I want to tell him to his face what I think of him because I blame him for passing on his virus to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat when the blisters grow and I can't stop them from growing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat where I want to hurry up the process of healing so that I can get it over with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about the virus' breakout where I feel sorry for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about finding a cure that gets rid of the virus for good.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about what I would trade for not having the virus live in my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to admit to myself that I have backchat about the virus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about the virus where I try to convince myself that things could be much worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about there not being a cure for the virus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about the virus' timing when it breaks out in relation to important times in my life.


Commitments:

When and as I want to blame Z, I stop and breathe, and I realise that I have been part of the collective that has brought this virus into being and therefore I am just as much a participant as Z even if in this life time I have been on the receiving end. I commit myself to stop victimising myself in relation to my experience with Z and to the virus.

When and as the virus attacks my body and I want to backchat about it, I stop and breathe, I realise that I limit myself by circulating thought patterns between my mind and my memory.

When and as I have backchat about the blisters not healing fast enough, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to jump ahead because I want to control the situation. I commit myself to stop wanting to control the healing process because that is when I feel save. 

When and as I have backchat about not having a cure, I stop and breathe, I realise that the cure is process and I keep walking my process in breath. I commit myself to walk process, pushing my limits and stepping out of my comfort zones.

When and as I have backchat about what I could trade for the virus, I stop and breathe, I realise that this is a form of self-manipulation and I stop. I commit myself to stop using backchat to continue the manipulation program I have accepted as me.

When and as I have backchat about the fact that things could be much worse, I stop and breathe, I realise that I use my backchat to calm myself down, and thus trap myself within polarisation. I commit myself to stop and breathe and do not allow myself to oscillate between the polar opposites.

When and as I have backchat about the fact that the virus' timings, I realise that the timings are the consequence of my emotions, therefore I stop and breathe and take responsibility for my emotional reactions.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger