Sunday, December 8, 2013

Day 464 - My relationship with a virus pt2



This post is a continuation from the previous post.

Self-commitment on the Fear Dimension

When and as I fear getting blisters on my mouth, I stop and breathe, I realise that these are the self-created consequences I live and I stand one and equal to the consequences and to the virus because the virus is a being as I am a being, and we are both utlising my body which in essence substance - part of the earth -  and from that perspective the virus utilises the earth via my body as I utilise the earth by harvesting nourishment and constructing shelter for my survival. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that the virus in my body shares the same beingness as I do.

When and as I fear that I am being judged by others for carrying a virus, I stop and breathe, I realise that I judge myself and that I use shame to keep the judgement going so that I experience myself as inferior because I have a virus living in my body. I commit myself to stop all shame on this issue and realise that I am reacting to the picture that I have of myself where my body should be in a perfect state.

When and as I fear that the virus in my body wants to harm me, I stop and breathe, I realise that this is my mind’s backchat which I listen to and believe because this fear motivates me to find ways to get rid of the virus. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I project the virus’ intention and that this is a figment of my imagination.

When and as fear that I cannot control when the virus shows itself, I stop and breathe, I realise that this point exists because I fear not being in control, as I use control of my environment or what happens to my body as ego mechanism to know who I am by identifying myself with the external world.
I commit myself to continue to walk the point of ego until I stand in clear, one and equal to all that is here in this world -  equal and one within the relationship of myself.

When and as I fear the virus that lives in my body, I stop and breathe, I realise that in self-honesty I can understand my relationship with the virus and re-create a relationship that is best for all involved. I commit myself to walk the virus point in self-honesty until I grasp the relationship I have created with the virus and am able to change it so that I create oneness and equality through it.

When and as I fear the virus because I fear death, I stop and breathe, I realise that the reason I fear death is because I am not equal to life and I am still my mind - so I commit myself to continue walking my process and to walk out of my mind and all fears.

When and as I fear that the virus creates scar tissue, I stop and breathe, I realise that this fear is based on the picture I have of myself where I want to be a ‘perfect’ picture because I have allowed and accepted the brainwash of the media that I must exist as a picture and moreover, I base my self-acceptance on a picture. I commit myself to continue walking the point of self-acceptance until I fully accept myself in every way.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory and hold onto to it-  of my mother who tells me that having scars is a bad thing and that I have to avoid getting scars in my life where she further tells me the story that when I had my appendix removed in the hospital, she ‘fought’ for a method that would not leave a big scar so that when I was older and would wear a bikini there would be no scar visible and I could preserve my beauty.

I forgive myself that I judge the memory of my mother and her story about the scar from a superior position yet I have programmed myself with the same ‘thinking’ regarding the potential scars that are produced by the virus.

When and as the memory of my mother telling me the story of the scar comes up, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have used this story to create an inferiority towards scars by judging them as negative and bad. I commit myself to stand one and equal to scars and realise that they are the consequence of the mind.

When and as I fear the underlying truth why and when the virus appears visibly on my body, I stop and breathe, I realise that the virus supports me in facing myself. I commit myself to ‘work’ with the virus to face myself and walk through the points related to our relationship - until it’s done. 

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