Commitment statements on Day 460
When and as I am operating from lack, from a negative state of being, I stop myself and realise that this is the fundamental starting point of the mind consciousness system and that if I operate from this point, I am operating from my pre-programmed design - so I stop myself and breathe and realise that what I am experiencing is not real, then I focus with my eyes on the physical reality around me and re-centre myself to create a starting point within the relationship of myself and I relate to the situation from this point on forward. Specifically to the perceived lack of not connecting with Z, I stop the desire within myself and roll back this urge of wanting to act on my desire, I realise that there are many ways of moving myself forward professionally and this does not depend on one individual. I commit myself to taking the responsibility and doing the "work" to provide myself with the best position within my professional work context.
When and as I look at the point of connecting with Z from the perspective of "someone having something I don't have" I realise that this point has already been in my life when I was in high school, and has played out in many ways, therefore I realise that I have me which is all it takes to move myself through any situation and walk my process. I commit myself to remain in the relationship with myself and move myself from the starting point of myself as a whole being who has all that it takes to function in this physical reality.
When and as I realise that I am compensating for my introverted personality where I disconnected from others and stayed by myself - and now - by wanting to connect with others at any price, I realise that I am not here in breath but have moved myself to the other extreme, thus I stop and breathe - I do not allow myself to move myself in this manner, once I stop I assess the situation from within the relationship of myself to understand what motivates me to connect with the individual. I commit myself to stop myself from developing a personality that 'compensates' for the introvert personality.
When and as I do not allow myself to stand equal to the act of proposal writing, I stop and breathe, I stop all imaginations and expectations of what it will be like and remain here. I commit myself to not allow myself to fall into the an inferior state of being because i believe my thoughts on the act of writing a proposal for research funding.