Thursday, August 22, 2013

Day 405 - Mentalising my starting point at work pt7 - commitment to change



If and when I desire to have a good communication with my supervisor I realise that i do this because I am afraid of the consequences of not having this work to support my livelihood and thus I would have no money. I trust myself to stand as equal to my supervisor and to perform my work with integrity and diligence. I step out of the self-limiting polarised version of myself, and do not allow myself to experience myself as inferior or powerless because I realise that this the illusion of fear based on me wanting to control the situation which I realise cannot be done. I commit myself to focus on myself and stop all thoughts about my supervisor and his relationship towards me.

If and when I fear that I will not have enough time to enjoy my life and to keep up with my commitment because the work load will be heavy, I realise that these are thoughts that are coming from memory because I have been in many work situations where I had to work a lot, and now I am projecting these memories onto my
 current situation. I realise that I am using my imagination to create worry and anxiety and that I can stop it. I commit myself to stop all imagination about what this work situation is going to be like and take every moment as it arrives, I stop all memories and experiences from my previous work experiences from influencing me today and tomorrow. 

If and when I experience myself in worry about the time I will have when I am not working, I stop and breathe, I have shown to myself that when I slow down and stay here I can get a lot done and that I can manage my time effectively. I trust myself to manage my time so that which I can do the activities that I would enjoy doing. I commit myself to apply myself consistently in my activities outside of work, and learn to refine my time management to maximise my time on earth.

If and when I experience myself as heavy because I have self-definitions in relation to the work I do, I stop and breathe, I realise that I sabotage myself with these definitions, thus I let them go. I commit myself to stay here in awareness and write out my self-defintion in relation to my job and education.

If and when I doubt myself to be able to know what to do to get settled in my job, I slow myself down and do what I need to do in common sense: I get to know the facilities, virtual and real, and familiarise myself with the projects. I trust myself to slow down and see what needs to be done. I commit myself to keep slowing myself down and I stop listening to any mind chatter that tells me to move faster.

If and when I go into thinking about how I can make a good first impression, I stop and breathe, I see what I need to do to be presentable and stop all worries in one breath. I commit myself to not allow myself to worry about making a good impression.

If and when I am not standing equal to the job, be it about the way I dress myself or in any other way, I stop and breathe, I see that it’s easy for me to stop believing once I find my centre in my relationship with Self. I commit myself to stay centred within myself.

If and when I worry about what my new physical work environment looks like because I don’t know what to expect, I slow myself down and breathe, I realise that this fear, once again, is related to control and that this can be remedied by connecting with myself. I commit myself to centre myself when any fear of the “newness” comes up in my thoughts that I spin further. I commit myself to stop my expectations

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