Monday, July 15, 2013

Day 383 - In a manner of speaking pt3

This post follows up on the previous two posts, here I write out my self-commitment statements on speaking and breathing. 

If and when I am in a situation where I react to the words that are spoken by someone else and I want to go into my habitual response mode where must defend myself I stop and breathe, I stop myself from speaking, I slow myself down by taking a breather and do not speak in relation to what has been said by the other person that caused a reaction within me.  I commit myself to patiently practice this way of dealing with someone else' words until I have stopped the urge to speak. I realise further that I must redefine words and commit myself to do so. 

If and when I am in a situation where I am casually hanging out with others, and I tend to want to speak my mind, I stop and breathe, I realise that speaking for the sake of speaking can not be done in awareness, I first have to create my starting point in awareness so that I am not answering from an emotional charge or state - irrespective of the polarisation, good or bad, happy or sad - after I have cleared my starting point only then I speak. I realise that after having been living in speaking and breathing awareness for the past days that I do not need to speak much at all and that most what I have previously spoken was my mind chatter.  I commit myself to stop speaking my mind chatter and approach myself with discipline and total dedication to walk this point and get it done. 

If and when I want to speak because I am in a situation where I experience myself as compelled to fill the silent spaces, when I am in the company of people I do not know, I stop and breathe, I make myself comfortable within myself and realise that any uncomfortable feelings I am experiencing are my own, I do not accept the mental reasoning that I must speak because a social etiquette calls for it. I realise that when I am comfortable within myself, I give others the space to be the same. I commit myself to not listen to my mind and believe that there are exceptions where I must speak because of some social circumstances. I realise that this does not mean that I won't answer questions but it means that I won't initiate pointless mind chatter talk. 

If and when I decide to speak in any situation, i become the directive principle in choosing the words I speak and I annunciate the words clearly and specifically, I speak at a comfortable pace and do not rush or slow down my speaking so that it creates an artificial engagement with language, I commit myself to find the most comfortable speaking pace that works for me and where I can comfortable breathe at a slow pace. 

If and when I notice within myself that I am drifting outside of myself where my attention goes to the actors of the scene that surrounds me I stop and breathe, I slow myself down immediately and bring myself back into myself, I do not allow myself to believe for a moment that what happens in my environment is more important than being aware of myself in every moment.  I commit myself to bring myself back to myself until I effortlessly stay in my awareness within myself. 


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