Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day 381 - In a manner of speaking pt1




In the past few days I have become aware of the fact that most people around me, including myself, speak in an automated manner.  Why is it that we allow ourselves to speak without considering what the words mean and what words really 'do' in this world? Given how we have automated the way we speak with and to each other, words spoken are then merely a form of entertainment and self-manipulation.

For myself I realise that directed breathing and speaking is linked together in awareness. If I am not breathing in awareness, I cannot speak in awareness and visa versa. So, here I stop this pattern and begin to speak in awareness. I will stop myself from engaging in situation where I go with the flow, my own flow and/or everyone else'. I will no longer participate in the creation of word 'constructs' in total oblivion. There is no situation in which I cannot speak in awareness, and the belief that it is otherwise is based on me not standing up in a relationship with myself, but instead let the external world dictate who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must speak to please others, to be accepted as communication partner in the various settings of my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that speaking is better than not speaking when I am in the company of other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak because I have created a habit based on how everyone else around me uses words. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that only robots speak in an automated fashion and that speaking from life means self-movement and self-direction in and through words.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak for entertainment which does nothing more than divert myself from what is here and defocusses me from self-awareness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use phrases like: I know, I understand, when I see into myself instead of stating what I am doing: I see into myself, hence: I see.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the ability to speak in awareness but not use it - as well as I have the ability to breathe in awareness and neither do I use that ability. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to come up with excuses and justifications why I have forgotten to stay in self-awareness in breathing and speaking.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more importance on the actors of a scene in which I participate than in placing importance on myself, my breathing and speaking. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a resistance to investigate the words that I react to emotionally.


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