Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 354 - Negativity drives my life pt15



In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The consequence dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that my starting point in negativity has consequences in how I act in the world because my main focus in life is on getting to a positive state of being, which is never permanent and always temporary, therefore "it" preoccupies me and so I enter into cycles upon cycles pursuing positivity, in every aspect of my life creating layers upon layers of behaviours, each behaviour only with one concern to escape the negative starting point. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the consequence of my negative starting point equals a pursuit of a positive “relief” and that this will create a dynamic where I am unable to see beyond the desire for the positive, which means I will operate from tunnel vision by narrowing my perspective on the world, focussing it like laser beam, to accomplish getting to the positive “relief” state. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created this world in absolute self-interest because I pursue the positive "relief" state from my negative starting point where I cannot but think about myself because I realise that everyone else is doing the same and within that there is no fairness, no justice, no equibrilium, no remorse, no mercy, no equality - because all work from “first come, first serve” understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that these positive experience are always tied to a physical matter and that this matter is valued in form of money. Therefore, I have attached the feeling of "positivity" to the value of money and have justified why I need to compete with everyone else because in every moment of breath is the desire for positive experience that rules me which is materialised in form of money and which prompts me to dominate and control the physical world so that I get to my "relief" state. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become blind to the entire picture of earth because I have programmed myself to shut out all that does not serve my self-interest, to get better and better in how I fulfill my positive experiences. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that by not stopping my self-interest and avoiding to look at the bigger picture of earth that is being created by everyone, I have caused abuse and suffering and am actively destroying my habitat and that of every other life form - until there is nothing left -  yet constantly making excuses why I have to consume all of existence and thus creating ultimate blindness and self-annihilation.



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