Friday, May 3, 2013

Day 350 - Negativity drives my life pt 11

In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Summary of the problem:

We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.



The reaction dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to solutions that require me to change with negativity and therefore experience myself with apprehension and heaviness because I have created attachment to my negativity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to activities that I have resistance towards with negativity by getting angry and annoyed about having to do them anyway because I feel that I am not free to decide what I want to do.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to myself with negativity when wanting to expand my horizon, where I then look for reasons why I can't do it and experience myself in disappointment and accepting the negativity and disappointment, not even for a moment really investigating whether my assumptions are real because I am so used to bringing my life/activities back to a negative point and living in lack and scarcity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to events in the future where I have committed myself to with negativity therefore creating anxiety about the event, with every day I create a little more anxiety so that when the event happens I have accumulated lots of anxiety, not realising that all this time I have worked myself up because of my negative starting point where I expect the worst. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my environment with negativity where I look to blame everything and everyone, which is reflected in my running commentary to myself, justifying my anger, never once realising that all of what is around me is a reflection of what and who I have become, as all is one. 

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