Monday, April 29, 2013

Day 346 - What is old is useless because it no longer functions - I commit to change...




In the last post I wrote about my awareness towards thoughts/behaviours that go on inside of me when I am interacting with old people. This was quite a surprise to me! Under the veneer of politeness I saw the nastiness that I have accepted as me, and had previously never been self-honest enough to even notice it in awareness. The title of the post is what triggered this awareness - when I realised that I had automated myself in the belief that all that is old does not function properly. I continue in this post by releasing a few memories and then move on to the self-commitment statements. 


Memories:

If forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of grandmother A where I am a small child and I am staying with her, and her house is cluttered with lots of stuff everywhere, which I experience as heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A complaining about her health, and within this I remember her particular smell, her ways of walking bent over, and within myself I cannot understanding why she does not change herself to feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A where I am staying with her and I am puzzled why she needs so much stuff and I do not understand what all the stuff is for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of grandmother A when I was a small child where I was appalled by the dustiness in her apartment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my grandmother A where I am a small child and I do not understand why she is not moving much and always tired.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from old, smelly, dusty, broken, cheap and useless through defining old, smelly, dusty, broken, cheap and useless in the memory of my grandmother A when I was staying with her as a small child.



Self-commitment statements:


If and when I see or interact with old people and I believe that they are stuck in their ways, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have made this my starting point for the interaction and this is why I cannot hear them because based on this belief I don’t take old people seriously, and thus do not take myself seriously.

I commit to take myself seriously by accepting myself and accept that I am equal to everyone else regardless of age and gender.

If and when I see or interact with old people and I believe that they are stuck in their ways, I stop and breathe, I realise that I am not accepting my own aging process.

I commit myself to investigate how I have programmed myself to not accept getting old.

If and when judge old people because of their demon-like appearance and the decay they exhibit, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have identified with the youth-cult which is just a marketing scheme because younger people are more driven by energy and that equals buying power - and in that have rejected the looks of old people, not realising that these old people where once young and that without old people there are no young people around - and thus all ages are one and equal no matter of their appearance.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand the common sense in our current aging process: where each human has a beginning and an end and that these are stages that are marked with a physical appearance.

If and when I fear being in proximity of an old person because of how I interpret their appearance as decay, I stop and breathe, I stop all fear of death and realise that the loss I perceive is of themind only and does not exist as all is one, and that I allowing myself to be triggering through the picture that I see before me.
I commit myself to stop my fear of death.

If and when I equate ‘old age’ with ‘no value’, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have programmed myself with this relationship - from memories and also because I realise that wisdom does not exist in this world and that it does not come with age.

I commit myself to value life as life and not as physical appearance based on aging.

If and when I believe that old people no longer have “potential” to walk themselves out of their mind, I realise that I regret not having done much more earlier in my life when I was searching for answers and fell into the love & light trap, and within this I see the point of age from the perspective of negativity, of not being ‘enough’ - not realising that walking out of the mind is not a performance of some kind and that it requires writing and breathing.

I commit myself to stop equating process with the measures of the mind.

If and when I want to blame those who have gone before me for the state of the world, I stop and breathe, I realise that I have been recycled many times and have had the opportunity to changemyself and the system but have never done so - thus I am using victimhood to avoid responsibility for what I have participated in creating with everyone else.

I commit myself to stop all victimhood and take responsibility for everything that is here.


If and when I equate “old” with “no longer functions” I stop and breathe, I realise that I have programmed myself with this belief due to memories and I stop the thought that relates age with functionality.

I commit myself to stop all beliefs, one-by-one, breath-by-breath, through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

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