In this post I continue the series that I started on day 337, where I give background to the problem that I am addressing with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.
Summary of the problem:
We all default into negativity. We are unable to see that our lives are a single pursuit from the negative to the positive, in how we want to experience ourselves. We achieve this in all kinds of ways, not at least through education and consumerism. Negativity makes us untrustworthy creatures that abuse life and the living by virtually ignoring what goes on around us as long as we can escape from it and experience ourselves positively - and for that no price is too high. How do we change that? Through self-honesty and self-investigation.
The fear dimension - The reward for self
If and when I enter into the cycle, in search of the positive from my negative default state, where I have trapped myself, oscillating from the negative pole to the positive pole until my capacity for energy is satisfied, so that I can swing back to the negative state, looking for the next best thing that kickstarts my cycle again - I stop and breathe -
I realise that this IS the world I have created for myself where I am unable to see beyond the confines of the polarisation to understand the dynamic that I contribute to in setting up a world of abuse, and where I cannot see my responsibility of how I am holding up this dynamic - because I am not willing to let go of my need/desire/pursuit of energy.
I commit myself to stop this cycle by, in first place, stop feeding myself with energy and exist in breath.
If and when I don't want to see, realise and understand that my contributions on earth, to the whole that is this existence, come from negativity in pursuit of the positivity where I compete with all other beings within the successful completion of my pursuit, and I fear giving up the pursuit itself because I believe that I can no longer give meaning to my life - I stop and breathe -
I realise that this fear is a protective layer to keep me from taking responsibility and seeing, realising and understanding that meaning cannot be created from an energetic pursuit within polarisation, and that as such this idea of "meaning" is not real - I realise further that real "meaning" or to conduct a meaningful life must include all of existence as a whole because only the whole together advances to create coherence and construction - whereas creating from the individualised part of the whole creates fragmentation and separation, which is inherently destructive to the whole.
I commit myself to redirect the idea of meaning by applying myself as living by example through self-honesty, self-corrective application and breath, so that we, as humanity, can bring the fragmented and separated world we have created together in oneness and equality.
If and when I want to deny that my starting point is located within negativity, because I fear the destructive nature of negativity and within that fear facing myself - I stop and breathe -
I realise that 'facing myself' is not a matter of choice as this is not a transient situation, it is the fundamental situation of our collective existence, facing ourselves in self-honesty is our responsibility of having a life in this world - it is not negotiable and must be understood and realised by all.
I commit myself to step out of the delusional life that I live and step into seeing for real what this reality is all about.
If and when I do not want to look into my past because I do not want to see negativity rendered in vivid detail to myself, I stop and breathe,
I realise that looking at my past is the key to understanding myself because it is through the accumulated memories that I have become what I am today, and unless I step through these memories to return to the beginning of me, I am not able to step out of the ping-pong cycle of negative to positive pursuits and back to the negative, and exist as me, as self.
I commit myself to walk back in time and work through my accumulated memories with self-honesty and self-corrective application.