Friday, April 12, 2013

Day 329 - Globetrotter & parental relations pt6

With this post I am continuing the series of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitment statements that I started on day 324, where I layout the background to the problem that is summarised below.

Summary of the Problem:

I, as my program, use my father as a counter balance where I don't have to worry about the consequences of my unstable life style, because I have a way out through his assistance. I fear losing my father because of the balance point he creates within my life which means once that is gone, I have to take responsibility and change myself to stop the unstable-stable dynamic.

The imagination dimension - The reward.

If and when I imagine the unknown world I will encounter when my father is dead, I stop and breathe, 
I realise that no matter what I have to face, I take responsibility for myself and do not judge the  "unknown" in polarisation but focus on getting a grip on what is here.

I commit myself to stop myself from imagining the "unknown" and deal with what is here. 

If and when I imagine that I have to sacrifice myself for my mother and my brother upon my father's death, I stop and breathe, 
I realise that I can proceed by trusting myself, to act in common sense and from the principle of what is best for all. I realise that I must do some work on this point to release all guilt feelings. 

I commit myself to release all guilt feelings towards my 'responsibilities' as the daughter to my mother and the sister to my brother, and act in common sense to deal with the situation breath-by-breath and step-by-step. 

If and when I anticipate a lot of problems to come to an agreement with my mother in how to do things, I stop and breathe,
I realise that it is up to me in how I react to my mother, and in stopping my thoughts and behaviours - and stopping my self-interest to see, understand and realise how she has created herself. 

I commit myself to stop my mind and future projections about the situation that will ensue after my father's death.  

If and when I project into the future as to when my father is gone, and all the stuff that needs to be directed physically, I stop and breathe, 
I realise that my parents have a lot of stuff accumulated and that it will have to be dealt with, and as I am also a consumer and have created the consumer society I am equally responsible.

I commit myself to stop judging the amount of stuff my parents have accumulated and see, realise and understand that i am a consumer in this society and have, directly or indirectly, participated in flooding the world with stuff.  

If and when I must clear out my parents' belongings and experience myself in resistance, I stop and breathe, 
I realise that this gives me an opportunity to face myself in my judgements about people who own a lot of stuff and "use" the situation to walk myself out of my programming so that I stand one and equal to all material goods that are here. 

I commit myself to become an equal to the physical world and stop judging ownership or property  - and investigate further all reactions to this point. 

If and when I imagine that I will have a lot of hassle with my administrative stuff because my father is no longer here to assist me long-distance, 
I stop and breathe, 
I realise that this is a matter of organisation and trust myself that I find ways to deal with the situation so that I can take responsibility for having affairs going on in multiple countries. 

I commit myself to re-organise myself and trust myself to be able to devise ways to deal with my affairs in multiple countries. 

If and when I am confronted with the responsibilities that my father left behind and that he never explained to me, in how to manage them, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that it is what it is and I can learn to not do the same to the people who come after me but take responsibility that I too some day will die and that others will have to 'deal' with what I leave behind. Furthermore, I realise that I have done the same for million of years, otherwise earth would be a more liveable place, therefore I take responsibility in this life time to change myself so that we can create a system that is best for all.

I commit myself to change myself by stopping my mind and to create a system that is best for all.   

If and when I experience myself in fear of the consequences that the death of my father will bring to my life, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that this is a good opportunity to face myself all ways that are related to parents. 
I commit myself to take the opportunity to its fullest and face myself, taking the consequences head on. 


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