Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Day 326 - Globetrotter & parental relations pt3



With this post I am continuing the series of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitment statements that I started on day 324, where I layout the background to the problem that is summarised below.


Summary of the Problem:

I, as my program, use my father as a counter balance where I don't have to worry about the consequences of my unstable life style, because I have a way out through his assistance. I fear losing my father because of the balance point he creates within my life which means once that is gone, I have to take responsibility and change myself to stop the unstable-stable dynamic.


The thought dimension - The solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture come up where I am in panic
, and where I am in need to accomplish some bureaucratic task that requires me to operate long-distance and there is no one to help me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself come up where I am totally alone and cannot move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture come up where I am completely desperate, walking around and trying to ask people for help and no one is listening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have suppressed the pictures that come up for this character, and in doing so I do not allow myself to disconnect the relationship between stability (father) and instability (me).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a sense of darkness, a sense of abyss, when I want to look at the memories and images that I am holding onto but am not allowing myself to provide clarity for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have suppressed the pictures that trigger the stability-instability polarisation within me which I have established in the relationship with my father.



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