Monday, April 8, 2013

Day 325 - Globetrotter & parental relations pt2



With this post I am continuing the series that I started in my previous post where I lay out the background to this problem. 



Summary of the Problem: 

I, as my program, use my father as a counter balance where I don't have to worry about the consequences of my unstable life style, because I have a way out through his assistance. I fear losing my father because of the balance point he creates within my life which means once that is gone, I have to take responsibility and change myself to stop the unstable-stable dynamic.



The fear dimension - The reward


If and when I allow myself to fear losing my father, I stop and breathe,

I realise that this fear is there because I don't want to lose him as my point of stability in my life. 
I commit myself to create stability within myself and stop relying on my father to believe that I am stable. 

If and when I fear providing stability for myself, I stop and breathe, 


I realise that without stability I remain the victim in my life and can continue the programs of blaming the world for my experience. 


I commit myself to provide stability for myself by stopping the programs that I use to self-victimise. 


If and when I allow myself to fear losing my father, I stop and breathe,

I realise that I don't trust myself to be able to fall back onto myself when things are rough in my life.  

I commit myself to investigate myself why I still don't trust myself all the way and stop the program that keeps me from trusting myself - and within that I stop my fear of losing my father. 

If and when I fear making decisions that will provide stability in my life with foreseeable consequences, I stop and breathe, 


I realise that I do not want to stand accountable all the way and thus fear making decisions that demand my full-fledged responsibility for myself. 


I commit myself to lead a life where every decision I make I can stand 100% accountable for it. 


If and when I allow myself to fear being bored in a stable life style, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that instability in my life feeds energetic production and stability paves the road for the process of walking out of my mind - thus my mind fears not existing and creates resistance around the idea of stability. 

I commit myself to stop making any assumptions on the idea of what my life style would be like I it were stable - instead, I work towards creating a stable life style for myself.   


If and when I judge my father's life style, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that this judgement is me comparing my life style to that of my father where I can reassure myself that I do not lead a boring life - yet, I can rely on him because I know that he is stable. 

I commit myself to stop comparing my life style to that of my father or anyone else.


If and when I fear having a stable life style, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that my concept about a stable life style is based on my fear and the role model of my parents which does not mean that I have to lead my stability in the same manner  - and further proves that I do not even know what my life in stability would entail. 

I commit myself to stop judging stability and live it!

If and when I fear that I will no longer be able to travel if I were to live a stable life, I stop and breathe, and realise that travel and stability is not mutually exclusive and this fear stems from manipulating myself into fear of loss (travel) so that I remain unstable. 


I commit myself to stop all self-manipulation and work towards creating a stable life that I enjoy. 


If and when I fear that I am not able to take care of the myself without the background support of my father, I stop and breathe,

I realise that I can provide myself with self-trust and stop the fear. 

I commit myself to become equal and one to self-trust.


If and when I fear that my father's death creates inconvenience in my life, I stop and breathe, I realise that inconvenience is the label I use to not want to take responsibility for my interdependence with all beings here on earth. 


I commit myself to stop my self-interest and deal with needs to be done, one breathe at the time. 


If and when I fear that I have to take over my father's responsibilities within the family, I stop and breathe, I realise that all my family members are me and so I give as I would like to receive. 


I commit myself to stop all resistances to take over my father's responsibilities up on my father's death. 


If and when I fear creating the material stability for myself, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that not having a material stability is part of my self-diminishing character. 

I commit myself to stop the self-diminishing character I have created myself as. 


If and when I fear the death of my father I stop and breathe, 

I realise that when my father dies the part of my program that is dependent on him will bring me to face myself within the consequences of my accumulated choices. 

I commit myself to walk the consequences of the stable - unstable dynamic that I created with my father.  


If and when I fear losing my father because I then have to acknowledge my interdependence with the world, I stop and breathe, 

and realise that I have always been an individualised part of the whole. 

I commit myself to become equal and one with all parts of myself. 


If and when I fear losing my father, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that not talking to my father and getting the assurance that there is one person in this world that cares for me unconditionally is because I don't want to stop judging myself. 

I commit myself to stop judging myself and take care of myself unconditionally. 


If and when I fear losing my father, I stop and breathe, 

I realise that I can provide for myself what I need and face myself in every moment of breath.



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