Friday, April 5, 2013

Day 321 - My desire for simplicity is really a corporate policy - The Reaction pt2

For more in-depth context of this series of blog posts, please read day 311

The problem in summary: 

I define a singular focus in my life which I use to justify my tendency to exclude myself from activities that are not linked to potentially making money  - therefore simplifying my life by constraining it to a few time consuming activities that become the pretext for me to avoid dealing with the complexity of life. At the same time believing that this one focus is an enabler for me to excel in one area and secure my place in society. 

The reaction dimension - The reward:

If and when I am at the threshold where I want to just hide in a project, I stop and breathe,

I realise that this threshold is where I can change by stopping the belief that I am a victim of the situation and that the situation is bigger than me.

I commit myself to stop making situations in my life bigger than me by believing that situations are static elements without ability to manoeuvre and within this belief I literally 'break' down and cannot see the common sense.

If and when I enter into the state of irritation, I stop and breathe,
I realise that irritation is neither good nor bad, but a wake up call for me to have a close look what I believe I perceive in my life and investigate what happened by walking backwards to see how I got there, rather than moving forward into a mental state of make-belief.

I commit myself to stop running away from irritation and face myself within the irritation head-on.

If and when I believe that the quantity of information or the diversity of tasks I must focus on becomes too much for me, I stop and breathe,
I realise that this is a judgement that is solely my perception, which is not the reality that I encounter - instead I stop creating an overview of all the tasks in my head and focus on each task in order of its priority - rather than standing back and looking at everything I am involved in, which then hits me like a wall - so that I can validate my perception and create fear.

I commit myself to stop judging my life as complex, and stop thoughts that want to quantify my involvement in things to do and places to go.

If and when I become frustrated about my complex life style, I stop and breathe,

I realise that this is just me wanting to hold onto the victim status I have accepted as me.

I commit myself to let go of being a victim by recognising that I no longer hold attachment to this program and the memories from childhood.

If and when I experience myself as defeated, I stop and breathe,

I realise that defeat is me in self-victimisation and I stop defeating myself.
I commit myself to stop battling with myself and stand equal to the situation I am in.

If and when I succumb to fear, I stop and breathe,
I just drop the fear because I have realised profoundly that I use fear to keep myself trapped, by creating a wall behind which lurks the unknown (with the belief that this unknown can only be death) and move on.

I commit myself to not allow myself to enter into fear because I have seen what lies beyond fear - very clearly - and know for fact that I am bigger than the fear that is why i can use it to trap myself in it.


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