Thursday, April 4, 2013

Day 319 - My desire for simplicity is really a corporate policy - The Backchat pt2

For more in-depth context of this series of blog posts, please read day 311

The problem in summary: 

I define a singular focus in my life which I use to justify my tendency to exclude myself from activities that are not linked to potentially making money  - therefore simplifying my life by constraining it to a few time consuming activities that become the pretext for me to avoid dealing with the complexity of life. At the same time believing that this one focus is an enabler for me to excel in one area and secure my place in society. 

The backchat dimension - The reward: 

If and when I allow myself to engage in backchat where I start to feel sorry for myself and my situation, I stop and breathe,

I realise that feeling sorry for myself is to be lazy about finding a solution for my problems. I realise that when I address my problems without energetic charge I can direct them more effectively and I can find solutions that I am blind to when emotionally engaged.

I commit myself to stop all self-pity and look at my problems without emotional charge.

If and when I allow myself to engage in backchat about the choices I have made in my life and how they have brought me to where I am today, I stop and breathe, I realise that regret will not reset my life, that it is useless and I acknowledge that at the time I was not in the position to make choices any other way because I was not facing myself in self-honesty. Therefore I realise that any backchat on the potential of what could have been is useless.

I commit myself to stop all useless mental revision of situations and face myself in the consequences that I have created for myself.

If and when I allow myself to engage in backchat to give myself hope by creating an imagination of a better life in a better setting I realise that I suppress the true situation that I need to face by calming myself with backchat.

I commit myself to stop all hope and keep bringing myself to what is here in the situation. 

If and when I allow myself to engage in backchat where I tell myself that life is too difficult I stop and breathe,

I realise that this backchat about giving up is part of a personality which supports the main intent of dwelling in self-pity and is not real nor relevant to the situation, I therefore take responsibility to stop myself from becoming the self-pity personality.

I commit myself to stop all the diverse character act-outs that are established around the point of “finding a better, less complicated life” - and I deal exclusively with what is here.

If and when I want to compare my life now with my life in the past, or conjure up an ideal life that is disconnected from the interrelationships on earth, I stop and breathe,

I realise that this is my escape mechanism that I validate by believing it, I render myself helpless and inactive because I believe that the gap that exists between what I live now and how I want to live can never be closed and therefore give myself permission to waste my time in self-pity.


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