Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Day 313 - My desire for simplicity is really a corporate policy - The Fear pt2

For more in-depth context of this series of blog posts (to come), please read day 311

The problem in summary: 

I define a singular focus in my life which I use to justify my tendency to exclude myself from activities that are not linked to making money - therefore simplifying my life by constraining it to a few time consuming activities that become the pretext for me to avoid dealing with the complexity of life. At the same time believing that this one focus is an enabler for me to excel in one area and secure my place in society. 

The fear dimension - The reward: 

If and when I face complexity and don’t want to take responsibility to deal with all the aspects that I am faced with, I stop and breathe,

I realise that I have trained myself to react in fear to the idea of complexity by defining complexity as too overwhelming, where I therefore avoid to take responsibility for dealing with the points that make up the complexity in my life.

I commit myself to take responsibility regardless of the number of points that I am faced with and regardless of the content of these points.

If and when I procrastinate to face the complexity of my life because I fear responsibility and allow for points to accumulate, I stop and breathe,

I realise that because I have not taken responsibility in the past certain points have intensified and created consequences that I have to face now.

I commit myself to face the consequence of my non-actions which are due to me denying myself to take responsibility for the various points in my life.

If and when I fear not having a singular main focus in my life which I can hold onto for the feeling of security, I stop and breathe,
I realise that wanting to hold onto an external point within the belief of security is because I do not trust myself.

I commit myself to trust myself with the understanding that this is a process, and that I must consistently apply myself walk as self-trust.

If and when I encounter complexity in my life and I fear facing this complexity, I stop and breathe,

I realise that I do not want to let go of my program and change myself, when I don’t want to take responsibility, therefore I push myself through the resistance until i stand free of this point.

If and when I want to hold onto the picture I have of myself because this is how I perpetuate my self-interest, I stop and breathe.
I realise that the picture i have of myself keeps me trapped in the illusion that I believe myself to be or to become.

I commit myself to stop self-interest by stopping to believe and pursue the picture I have of myself.


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