Thursday, March 14, 2013

Day 300 - Desiring Gratitude pt3






Self-commitment statements on the previous two posts.

When and if I see myself accessing this pattern of desiring gratitude when I recognise that my partner has become self-sufficient with a certain skill set where I was involved in teaching the basics,

I stop and breathe,

I realise that if I desire gratitude I want to be superior to him and in doing so I want to separate myself from him.

When and if I see myself accessing this pattern of desiring gratitude from my partner when I realise that he does not need my help any more because he as become self-sufficient in the skill that he was learning,

I stop and breathe,

I realise that i want to hold on to the teaching because I have created a self-definition around teaching that fits with the picture I have of myself.

When and if I see myself accessing this pattern of desiring gratitude from my partner, when he has learned a skill that we have been working on together,

I stop and breathe,

I realise that I want to keep my ego alive by feeding it with recognition which I could get from the gratitude of my partner.

When and if I see myself accessing this pattern where I desire my partners gratitude not only for some skill that he obtained because I taught him the basics, but in general - when I want him to appreciate me,

I stop and breathe,

I realise that all desire for gratitude and appreciation is basic luck of self-trust and the need to get confirmation about being a valuable person from the external world, and thus this pattern is only one piece of a greater pattern of needing approval from the world around me to approve of myself.

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