Monday, February 25, 2013

Day 281 - Mood isn't who I am pt.2




I continue from last post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that heaviness is inverted anger where I have suppressed my anger instead of placing my reaction in front of me through writing, so that I see how I have programmed myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that anger is an opportunity for me to free myself from ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that me not getting overtly angry does not make my anger go away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anger is valid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my thoughts and cause a reaction within myself which is heavy and moody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life in constant judgment of my environment to which I react in anger if what I judge does not correspond with my expectation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I need to stop the judgement as the first instance in the chain of the events that lead to the experience of anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I bring moodiness and heaviness unto myself because I live the reaction towards my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to my environment with suppressed anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take responsibility for deleting my ego which is holding me back from being here in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that even suppressed anger motivates my actions in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that keeping my composure is a sign of strength and control and thus I have trained myself to suppress anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is better to channel my anger outward in some manner, instead of keeping it inside, not realising that this was a belief I learned from the therapy community.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without anger and moodiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that anger is showing me the relationship I have to myself because that becomes the reference point which determines to what external stimuli I react in anger. 

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