Sunday, February 17, 2013

Day 276 - Coughing and emoting



I had a very bad cold not too long ago. During this time I also experienced some emotional distress, self-inflicted of course. The emotional stress was a build up due to a self-created situation of consequences that I am walking for some time now.

One night not to long ago, after the cough was already gone and briefly after I had experience the emotional distress pattern that I did not stop right away, I began coughing out of the blue. Interesting, in that moment I could see how I had connected the two, the emotional pattern and the cough, since they both coincided and the cough appeared immediately after I came down with my emotional pattern.

Quickly after I realised what I did and how I had programmed myself. I spoke self-forgiveness out loud and the next day I was fine. Here in this post I want to get to the last vestiges of this episode as I realise I must be thorough within my self-honesty to prevent any further development in this direction.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the feeling of distress to trap myself in the mind and create physical consequences through my thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself from going into emotional distress even though I know the pattern and have the choice to not go there in my thinking.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I "let it out" the emotional distress, and get upset within me, I am releasing the accumulation of energies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself like a barrel that is overflowing during these moments of emotional distress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be realistic about the point that I am stressing about, and instead I go into emotional distress where I feel trapped, when I know that this feeling will not change my situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that i create the emotional distress to paralyse myself so that I do not make decisions that will help myself to change the situation I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a situation of self-created consequences and turn it against myself by creating a painful cough that hurts my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to try to escape my self-responsibility by digging myself out of the situation, and instead i suppress myself which ends up turning into a cough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to open up this point sooner, and not have already investigated how breathing, and sometimes feeling pressure on my chest, relates to my current situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless, and accept myself as powerless so that I can create emotional stress for myself. 

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