Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 274 - Responsibility begins and ends with me being able to respond




I continue what I started on day 271Here I am looking at my ability to respond without creating illusions or projections from within my responsibility. In other words, taking action in form of responding to a situation by standing equal to all the elements of the situation, and letting the outcome, future developments, wishes etc go. When there is no "aftermath" to my ability to respond it precludes self-interest. It means literally to respond from life - give as you like to receive, which translates to give life as you would like to get life. I recommend listening to Anu's interview on this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my ability to respond to try to get what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see myself - as self-interest - in my ability to respond, and never the whole situation with all components.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made responsibility the centre of my polarisation where I either stand as superior but mostly as inferior to my ability to respond to a situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made my ability to respond dependent on what others do or don't do therefore using self-rightgeousness, morality, and self distrust as "shields" from the purity of "being able to respond", a simple and straightforward matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project into the future the way I want my responsibility to pan out in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself from within my ability to respond and create illusions in my mind that build upon my actions, and thus I use and abuse that which is real to construct that which is unreal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that "responding to the situation" is where the situation stops in reality and all thoughts that lead to more scenarios are the parallel unreal mental space that I choose to live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust that which is unreal and build my ability to respond on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the word responsibility bigger than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself physically under pressure when using the word responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a world where responsibility has been a synonym for imprisoned relationships where individuals hold each other hostage through the word responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a belief that responsibility is a static component of life, where once I have responsibility I need to maintain a situation in certain 'state', and within this I have misused responsibility to create stagnation and through this stagnation abuse and entrapment of myself and others. While this 'mechanism' is lived in individual relationships it is also lived within the world of our economic reality, where we believe that we are being responsible if we maintain the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that responsibility has to come from within each moment of breath and is therefore a process of accumulation and is NOT a process from bringing the past here by acting in order to respond from memory and from that which is absent.

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