Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Day 272 - Releasing my inability to respond



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created fear around the point of responsibility and therefore I see responsibility as a way to control my environment, rather than seeing it to simply ensure that I have the prerequisite in place to be able to respond when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider taking responsibility for myself in all the various situations I move in as a burden and thus I look to get relief from my responsibilities by off loading it onto others where I want another to do the necessary preparation and implementation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my father waving his finger in front of my face in various situations that he thought of as dangerous even though they did not seem dangerous to me and telling me if anything happens to you it's my responsibility and me programming myself in response with the understanding that being responsible means I am able to control my environment and the people in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define loss, burden, control and dependency in the memory of my father waving his finger in front of my face and telling me that if anything happens to me it is his responsibility and thus separating myself from loss, burden, control and dependency and living these words in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that loss, burden, control and dependency are here as me, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others and thus to fear responsibility and because I fear others I only understand responsibility from the point of control and as separation from others, and separating myself from responsibility - therefore only managing fear through control and calling it responsibility. 

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