Thursday, January 31, 2013

Day 261 - Train ride: don't sit next to me pt4




Here I am writing out the BACKCHAT dimension of my train ride experience, a point I opened up on day 258

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about the people on the train when they are staring on my screen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about all the germs that are being dispersed in the air on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about being repeatedly sick and maybe being exposed to too many sick people on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about standing on the door as the first person in the queue to get off the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat on the train where I try to think of ways to keep others away from me, so that i have more space and feel comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with my backchat about judging others regarding the space they take up on the train.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about how people try to tell me where I should put my backpack

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about how the people who are taking the train are like drones just accepting the circumstances and are still quite happy about the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat not being able to respond the way I would like to because I don’t have all the words in Flemish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about not wanting to speak French in the train, because I don’t want to be labelled as a Wallonian or a foreigner because I fear that I will be disadvantaged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the men as being pampered by the women because they actually use textile handkerchiefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about most of the people in the early train being clueless about me needing a table to put my laptop down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about the train system in B collapsing one day because it is so poorly maintained. 

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