Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day 241 - My accepted stress pattern & the resulting personality pt 9



 I continue the deconstruction of the stress pattern by walking the THOUGHT dimension in this post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I arrive at an event last and cannot get in any more therefore I am shut out from participating with everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I stand in the dark on the border to a light area, where I can perceive the light area but cannot go there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am running to the train but just as I arrive the train departs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought, where I am trying to open the door with a key but the key won't open, and I am totally stressed because there is someone behind me trying to hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am surrounded by people each person hassling me to do something faster and better, and with each second the voices become louder and the people are coming closer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am reliving all the situations of stress I experienced with my mother when I was a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am being left stranded by my parents because I have not been compliant in keeping up with the pace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am in a crowd of millions of people and I am trying to get away but I can't because people are preoccupied watching something and do not want to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am working on my desk and every word I write is being erased as soon as I have completed it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I have to go to the toilet but can't find one and the urgency is getting stronger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am forced to pack up and flee at a moments notice. Thus, I have to pack up that which is most important for my survival and I am stressed not finding anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am entering another country but am not allowed inside because I am arriving one day too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am sitting in a boat at sea and am waiting to be rescued.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am unzipping myself from my skin and stepping out of it, and walking away and as I turn around I see a bunch of people attacking my skin like a bunch of animals competing for food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where I am walking in the desert and the sand is hitting my face. I am thirsty and looking for water not finding any.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where all my relatives line up and each is talking to me in turn how I have to become better at my time management. 

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