Monday, January 7, 2013

Day 237 - My accepted stress pattern & the resulting personality pt 5

I continue the fear dimension from the previous posts with the self-commitment statements. 

I commit myself to stop sabotaging my comprehension of what I am doing by using haste to create fear inside of me which sets me up for future failure and the continuing cycle of self-diminishment. 

I commit myself to stop using fear to distrust myself and to create self-doubt which inevitably leads to stress and frustration within my world. 

I commit myself to stop labelling myself as slow or using slowness to excuse myself to not stand equal to a task, a project or an interaction, and within that to stop to confirm the dichotomy I experience between slowness and haste by which I allow myself to apply fear against myself. 

I commit myself to stop anticipating fear when interacting with my mother because I fear the tension I recall from my past interactions and stop projecting emotions onto my interactions with her.  

I commit myself to stop fearing the childhood pattern within me and allow myself to set myself free from the constraints and limitations of my childhood by walking this pattern in all it's specificity where I don't leave a memory unturned so that I can eventually face my interactions with my parents without reactions. 

I commit myself to stop focussing on others and relate time frames to potential expectations of others. I commit myself to work on my time frames in a moment of breath, always using breath to guide me and practice my "hereness" and common sense in absolute self-trust. 

I commit myself to stop all fears that propel me into a state of self-obliteration where I allow myself to go into a mind-state that excludes my relationship with the reality of a situation, and lets me operate from a mental automated state that is merely a mechanism that I have accepted as me. 

I commit myself to stop all fears where I distrust myself in making my best effort to achieve what I set out to do, including the fear of not being practical with my time management. 

I commit myself to stop all fears of haste and within that I stop developing antidotes to haste, such as "master" plans, and stop "engineering" my future whereby I commit myself to learn to use planning as practical measure and as prevention tool, not from fear but from common sense yet only secondary to being here in every moment of breath. 

I commit myself to stop all fears that concern self-manipulation and realise that self-trust is the key aspect for me to see, realise and understand that I can face any situation and push through by breathing until I have walked myself out of the emotional aspects of the situation where I am free of reactions and self-sabotaging tendencies

I commit myself to stop all fears about not being sufficiently prepared, or that I am going to be caught of guard whereby I realise that this heightened awareness I create to want to be ready for the "worst case scenario" is me allowing myself to live in constant fear and self-abuse. 


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