Friday, January 4, 2013

Day 234 - My accepted stress pattern & the resulting personality pt 2








I am continuing the fear dimension from the previous post...


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when others don't respond to me in a timely fashion regarding an appointment, commitment or project because I fear that this throws of my schedule.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I don't stress I no longer have a purpose. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a structure and to have to self-motivate to complete my tasks. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being without structure because then I no longer know how to approach my tasks. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to plan ahead and so I must stress without preparation and a plan. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the race for time to get something finished. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories of my mother stressing me to hurry up and me shaking inside

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define survival and horror within the memory of my mother stressing me to hurry up and me shaking inside. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from survival and horror by defining survival and horror within the memory of my mother stressing me to hurry up and me shaking inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that survival and horror are here as me equal and one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having stress because I fear no longer being preoccupied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having control because I believe that when I am stressing I am in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the moment of closure when the stress ends and I have made it to my goal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to congratulate myself when I have met a deadline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having stress because fear makes me feel important. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living a meaningless life without stress. 

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