Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 95, 2012 "I should really try harder and help"

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I was asked to help in the next days but declined because I am currently extremely tight on time. Though I would have really liked to help as it concerns an area that I enjoy helping in but remained realistic about not taking on more than what I can do within the time frame, which is a point that I am walking at the moment. Afterwards I felt guilty for not trying harder to squeeze my schedule and fit it in this request.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt about not helping another because I know how I "feel" when I ask someone for help, which I do as a last resort, and how I experience myself as disappointed when the other person declines.


I commit myself to approach my own work/tasks within common sense and stop denying that I may need some form of assistance so that I stop myself from creating a time pressure/friction situation for myself and set myself up for disappointment. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else, exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define appreciation, friendship, and loyalty within a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from appreciation, friendship and loyalty through defining appreciation, friendship, and loyalty within a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else, in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that appreciation, friendship and loyalty are here as me equal and one in every breath.


I commit myself to delete all memories that I have about myself and others, and thus delete all starting points that are based on memories. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my decision because I assume that the person having given me a short time frame is in dire straits and this is how I relate it to my own situation.


I commit myself to stop projecting and assuming what the other person might be going through and stand one and equal to the decision I have made.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in guilt because I fear that next time when I am in need of help another won't be there for me, thus I base my "helping hand" on obligation and payback and not realise that the person is another me and that I help myself when I help another. 


I commit myself to stop functioning from the starting point of self-interest, and stop approaching supporting another within separation by following the belief an "eye for an eye" and within that I commit myself to evaluate what I can/cannot do to assist another from common sense.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use judgement instead of common sense, when I must make a decision that will impact my schedule. 


I commit myself to bring everything about the topic/issue here and make the decision based on what is here in common sense.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take a moment and clear my starting point before deciding to assist/not assist so that I do not create a polarised emotional response, either anxiety because I have taken on too much, or guilt because I fear the other person judging me for my decision. 


I commit myself to slow down and stop myself rushing by realising that there is always a moment as long as I communicate, where I can clear my starting point before proceeding within the conversation. 

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Day 94, 2012 My character who plays through "silent, angry" treatment

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Today, in a small dressing room a girl sprayed her deodorant all over the room where it became difficult to breathe for all in the room. Instead of telling her to stop and consider others, I engaged in big gestures that demonstrated how appalled I was by her spraying the room. I moved my stuff away from her and covered my mouth and nose. I then left the room in an angry manner. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the “silent angry” character, where I won’t communicate with another about something that bothers me, initiated by the other person, and instead of gently bringing it to the attention of the other person, I act out my anger silently through body movements and gestures to demonstrate how angry I am about the situation, so to try and make the other feel guilty for their actions. 
I commit myself to become aware of how my actions affect existence as participant in this world system and realise that this point is here as me to create an opportunity to change myself and communicate, realising that we must do onto others as we want done upon ourselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself instead of communicating with another person about what I find unacceptable because I see the other person as separate from me.
I commit myself to stop suppression of anger emotions, and so stop self-abuse against my physical body - and within that I commit myself to stop my fear of others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the “silent angry” character when I perceive a weakness on my end in regards to the person I am dealing with, where I believe that I must be in a superior position to make a statement about what I am experiencing so as to assure myself that I have done what I can to drive the point "home",  and therefore justify my approach to apply the “silent” treatment, because I believe that I am less vulnerable than I perceive myself to already be.
I commit myself to stop the game of superiority/inferiority and realise that because I compare myself to others based on what I perceive as another person’s attribute to be in relations to mine, that I allow myself to engage from the starting point of superiority/inferiority and therefore justify my emotions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I get possessed by the “silent angry” character where I go into automatic pilot, not realising that I have programmed myself in this way and that I must take responsibility for this character. 
I commit myself to stop all possessions, by recognising them for what they are: automatic, self-programmed behaviour based on memories, and slow myself down so that I can perceive the onset of the thought that I allow to exist as me which leads to backchat and possession behaviour. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I separate myself from the other person when I become the angry character who acts without words and within this situation I listen and believe my backchat to justify myself.
I commit myself to push through stoping my backchat when I have missed the inital thought that seeded the “silently angry” character and take responsibility to speak or write self-forgiveness asap to stop myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I create ambiguous, disjunct, manipulative communication in this way, led by my mind not by Self, with the result that the other may never have a chance to revise their behaviour once they understand how it affects another - thus, through my behaviour I deprive myself and the other from creating a situation that is best for all.
I commit myself to stop my selfishness in all ways which starts with stopping all characters one by one so that I stand clear and realise that without stopping self-interest I become the obstacle of change in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another for not being considered towards others which I do just the same by becoming possessed as the “silently angry” character. 
I commit myself to see myself in others ALL of the time and push through the resistance and understand that ALL resistance is an indicator for me to investigate my behaviour/thinking through writing. 

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 93, 2012 The "coward" character

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others on whose authority and judgement I depend for my survival.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must play a "likeable" character with others who are in an authoritative position within the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I do not use my mind in a situation with someone in authority I will not emerge as a winner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to separate myself from others who I believe have authority over me because I see this as the best tactic to minimise the risk for being judged negatively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to face others who are in authority positions in relation to me because I don't want to direct myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to be my own authority because I fear that the consequences require me to change, and I can no longer retract to my "safe haven" of preprogrammed existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admire others who are fearless when interacting with authorities not realising that I can be just as fearless. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture of myself where I am weak and a picture of myself where I am courages.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear those in authority positions because I fear being punished. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear abuse as the coward character not realising that all abuse is self-abuse and to not face myself as self is abusive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother threatening to punish me if I do not comply with her demands, exist within me. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on the memory of my mother threatening to punish me if I do not comply with her demands. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define pain, loss, deprivation within the memory of my mother threatening to punish me if I do not comply with her demands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from pain, loss and deprivation through defining pain, loss and deprivation within the memory of my mother threatening to punish me if I do not comply with her demands, in separation of myself. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that pain, loss, and deprivation are here as me, equal and one in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear punishment because I fear death. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that death is only the end of my mind. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing my mind and thus losing my labels and my self definitions. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the coward character exists instead of self-trust and that her existence must rely on separation instead of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as the coward character because this way I can create excuses to not deal with what I perceive to be the external world not realising that there is only one shared physical world. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the coward character because it is a safer to remain enslaved than to tackle the unknown here as me in breath. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not like surprise situation because then I am no longer in my controlled place as the coward character and have to take responsibility for the situation. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act as the coward character when the situation concerns me but to lose all cowardliness when dealing with authority in someone else' name.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide as the coward character because than I can exist in denial of myself and everyone else as me. 

I commit myself to end the coward character and face myself in each person regardless of their position and authority.

I commit myself to stop hiding from the world and from others.

I commit myself to end all fears and realise that fears are a delusion of the mind. 

I commit myself to lose, delete, and return my mind to source and to not pay any attention to my mind's hissy fits. 

I commit myself to see all the traps that my mind erects in an attempt to preserve itself.

I commit myself to lead myself and others as myself to a world that functions in equality and oneness.






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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Day 92, 2012 My character who speaks: "there is something worthwhile knowing in what I think"

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am still dishonest when I "think" I am writing this blog from the starting point of self-honesty. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I still "hold" onto to thinking because there is a sliver of hope that I have to subscribed myself to, where I believe in the crevices of my mind, the tiny hidden ones, that thinking will pay off and I will have some damn 'insight' that solves my problems and provides me with relief from myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to struggle with breathing because I don't realise that I am actually struggling to let go of thinking because I have some secret belief in my secret mind that is so hidden that I pretend to not find it in self-honesty. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have made excuses that I am an academic and that I am trained to think and therefore it's not so easy for me to 'switch' my thinking off.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have excused myself with playing 'stupid', that I get confused because when I work on papers and other academic material, therefore I must think, and then in my "other", personal life I should actually stop thinking - thus separating myself - which I pretend to not realise because I do not count my academic work as part of my process and thus I exist as split personality - because I exist neither here nor there in breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am actually suffering from my own doing because I "find" myself in agony as points about who I really am in what I have accepted and allowed, are increasingly showing up and I succumb to self-torture, because I do not realise that I am still invested in my mind - and am too ego-riden, too proud, of what goes on in my head, to let go.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that all this boils down to my "specialness" where I give myself a "show" by hiding from myself,  because I am ashamed to see and let the rest of the world see, who I really am. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brutal and full of hatred in my secret mind towards everyone and everything in this world and in self-honesty exempt myself from my own brutality because I consider myself as special. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend to myself that I am finally fed up existing like this but then once the day is over and the energies have worn down I continue "thinking" and not breathing - and going through the same cycle over again the next time around. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise how I within the way of existing abuse my body because I feel the contracting and pulling sensations within my lower abdomen that I know I can stop when I stop thinking and start breathing. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself and the world "lip service" with all this talk about "breathing here", when I accept the weight that I am onto myself upon my own "shoulders" and do not allow myself to stop.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to fear watching the facade that I exist as crumble and fall, therefore I will lie to myself under the guise of self-honesty.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ever be ready to find excuses that wrap up blame in a nice little package that sits in my mind like a time bomb which I do not dare to open because I am so enchanted with the wrapper. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wear a mask because I am afraid to see what I have allowed myself to exist as and because I believe that it is a daunting task to take responsibility for it. 


I commit myself to delete all layers of me as thinking entity and not stop until all is uncovered by stoping the fears that I use to hide myself from myself.


I commit myself to give myself the permission of my life time to stop thinking anything and for any reason and to exist as breathing body in space. 


I commit myself to develop trust as my physical body.


I commit myself to stop shame and specialness in all its forms and shapes within myself and realise that these are outflows of my ego.


I commit myself to begin to live by accepting me as breath.


I commit myself to push myself at all times until I have ended my mind.


I commit myself to stop all separation from my mind and realise that this process of breathing can be done without self-torture but requires consistency in self-application and in timely treatment of surfacing thoughts. 


I commit myself to be patient with myself and to stand equal to all that I have hidden from myself and realise that to uncover that which is hidden is a process which involves time and self-application. 


I commit myself to support all others as me and end separation of myself - within the activities I do and the social interactions in which I engage. 



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Day 91, 2012 The character that I play when I share food in my agreement

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been dishonest about our daily sharing of food where I have always cheated when it comes to dividing the food into two equal parts. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have stopped myself from seeking an advantage when I am dividing the food up, we have cooked as our evening meal. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to create two equal portions of food without considering which portion has more of something that I want more of than the portion that goes to my partner.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel most comfortable when I deliberately take a smaller portion because the moment I consider making the portion equal I want more of what I like best and am willing to cheat on my partner's share.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be more comfortable with taking a smaller portion because I always saw my mother taking a smaller portion of food than the rest of the family.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself by having reacted to my own reaction about dividing food up in equal parts because I have never seen this part of me in previous food sharing situations. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the portion with the bigger piece/heap of something that I'd like more of, without telling my partner, and subsequently feel guilty about it and offer it back to him, not telling him why I am offering the food.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to divide up the food after I have cooked so that I do not have to deal with this point of having to share equally. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise in order for me to have this point I must compare the portions of food and thus I exist within comparison and am not here as breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have compared my portion of food to that of my brother when we were kids, and for having been jealous of him because he would get more of something that I wanted because he is male.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been wanting more of what my brother got more of so that I can exist in comparison and jealousy, not realising that without the point of comparison I did not want any of it. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory exist within where I am competing when getting 'special' food e.g. birthdays and holidays - always comparing my share to that of my brother and trying to manipulate to get more. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of competing when getting 'special' food e.g. birthdays and holidays - always comparing my share to that of my brother and trying to manipulate to get more. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define recognition, love, and appreciation within the memory where I am competing when getting special foods, e.g. birthdays and holidays  - always comparing my share to that of my brother and trying to manipulate to get more. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from recognition, love, and appreciation through defining recognition, love, and appreciation within the memory where I am competing when getting special foods, e.g. birthdays and holidays - always comparing my share to that of my brother and trying to manipulate to get more, in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that recognition, love and appreciation are here as me equal and one, in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted this dishonesty and not confronted myself within it - every day when sharing food and even when I am not the one dividing the food up I still compare my portion to that of my partner's. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the only way to stop this behaviour is to confront myself with it and face the point in self-forgiveness and walk the self-corrective application.


I commit myself to take this point of 'sharing food' seriously and realise that it is the menial points that add up to my automated behaviour.


I commit myself to stop inequality to food sharing and apply myself in sharing from the point of self-honesty and to stand equal to my 'hunger'/physical needs and stop thinking about sharing. 


I commit myself to stop any involvement of my mind when it comes to eating, food sharing, or food preparation. 


I commit myself to teach myself to share equally and stop oscillating between less/more and to realise that this behaviour is not caused by physical needs but because I allow my ego to be in control.


I commit myself to respect sharing food as a self-willed action.


I commit myself to investigate what constitutes appetite in relation to providing food for my body so that I understand what is truly a physical, bodily request, and what is influenced by mental self-programmed reactions to food/eating/nurturing.


I commit myself to focus on the every day 'ways'/programs of living and to uncover all patterns I have allowed myself to exit as.





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Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 90, 2012 My "I feel so bad" character

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as weak and feeble, when I refuse to stop and continue to hold on to "how shitty I feel about myself" because I have shown myself earlier today, how I "give" into the programs that run my life where I experienced myself in an episode of comparison, and thus I am reacting by pouting about my own behaviour. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into a "bad" day where I am not satisfied with the outcome of the day and instead of breathing here and stopping my mind I continue to create from the starting point of ego/need for attention.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-manipulate, to feed my ego with energy, and thus act from the starting point of slave of my ego and not of life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in self-pitty - the "nobody loves me" moments, whereby I clearly realise what I am doing yet I am not disciplined enough to just stop and breath here. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept to live through a day where I would prefer to "just" disappear knowing very well, that there is no escape from being here whether I exist in physical reality or not. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into energies and thoughts and then regret the moment where I have a chance to stop myself, thinking, but fail to do so.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that to "hang" on to the experience of a "bad" day not realising that I am in this moment refusing to take responsibility for my mind and therefore affect everyone else because all is one. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am "less than" and thus accept definitions of living a "bad" day not realising that if I don't stop the energies I will continue to ride on the low/high roller-coaster that runs my life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe somewhere that pouting about my own behaviour will make me feel better. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that I must be strict in how I allow to exist as me here in every moment. 


I commit myself to stop evaluating myself and comparing myself and to spring into "breathing action" when I get into a situation where I accept the thoughts in my mind. 


I commit myself to do whatever it takes to stop the situation of self-evaluation early on because I see that every time I let it run it course it is harder to stop the tailing of energies.


I commit myself to no longer believe any thought and to tell myself that in the moment I am swaying myself to believe what I am thinking. 


I commit myself to consistently do my work so that I no longer build up situations that can tip me over into "self-flaggelation" because I am not satisfied with myself. 


I commit myself to stop my self-interest and realise that stopping myself from creating these types of energies is supportive to all of creation. 


I commit myself to no longer accept myself as "thinking" entity and make the effort of "hereness" and "beingness" to communicate as Self here in every moment. 







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Day 89, 2012 Oh, that's so beautiful!

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I desire to create beauty in the world without having a grasp on what beauty represents as life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that all that is aesthetic and artistic is intrinsically good without ever looking further at the consequences involved in the process of production and/or the underlying thoughts that contribute to the evaluation of beauty.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have sacrificed life for the momentary pleasure of beauty not realising that real beauty cannot be contained or limited to my perceptions or the picture I create. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have hid behind ideas of beauty to cover up my anxieties and fears by "painting" a beautiful picture of myself and the world I live in - a picture that is deliberately disconnected from the exploitation and suffering that surrounds me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have justified the search for beauty in my life by making moral judgements in self-righteous behaviour, for example when I became a vegetarian, where I believed that my actions were better than those of others because I pretended to care about the animals in the world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have deluded myself to believe that I could step out of the realm of abuse by exempting myself from the consumption of certain products not realising that I can not escape consumption and that all consumption is abusive in nature. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have never lifted the curtain of beauty and seen the ugly and deceptive side of beauty through the abuse that affects all life - and that all life suffers the consequences of my and everyone else's pursuit of beauty. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have lived the dishonesty of beauty, similar to the dishonesty of morality - where I judged others on a "beauty index" in behaviour and picture projection as I judged/hated myself self because I did not match the desired picture of my mind. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have subjected myself to beauty treatments and struggle to accept the  physicality as me - where I look at myself through the "normed"  standard of beauty that society dictates through the media channels and I accept and allow myself to exist as. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have made choices based on what I believe to be beautiful instead of choosing to support what is best for all life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abdicated my responsibility towards all life because I only cared about creating beauty from the starting point of self-interest.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my addiction to beauty is equal to any other addiction no matter the object of desire - because the bottom line of addiction is abuse and suffering and separation from the physical world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge all that is around me within the polarisation of beauty.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created a culture of beauty in form of symbolic shapes that range from buildings/architecture to art/designer/objects, which I/we use to keep me/us enslaved in the mind, in separation from life.  


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be drawn to beauty and succumb to colours and sounds that I consider beautiful and which constitutes my preferences in how I choose to identify myself not realising that if I must judge than I discriminate life to establish these preferences.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that beauty is like opinions based on the "i" of the beholder, the memories and experiences of my past. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the addiction to beauty justifies ownership, to collect and hoard and surround myself with beauty to cover up the ugly reality of what I allow to exist in the world as me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted beautification, the modification of my environment and myself, never to consider that I act from superiority to do so by imposing my ideas on beings that share my physical reality. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to derive energetic highs from looking at and comparing colour compositions and geometric shapes.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to not realise that beauty is not simply making beautiful choices - but that each choice disguises "how" life is abandoned, rejected and abused to which I remain ignorant  because of my privileged position- whether that is choosing a piece of clothing produced in a sweatshop or the manicuring of a garden affecting the habitat of many other beings. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that as long as the concept of beauty exits as "guidance" to our lives we exist in separation through judgement, comparison, and competition. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created aversions to others because I consider them ugly, as I have created aversions to myself, to parts of my being that I consider ugly. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my addiction to beauty is just like any other addiction where I am unable to exist here with what is here in the world but try to match the world to the picture in my head.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to age because old-age is not a beautiful picture. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the striving to be the "standard" beauty is to separate myself from life because the anything standardised is a concept of the mind and will always undermine life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for having spend my time making "something" beautiful instead of contributing to equality and stopping my mind. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have automated my behaviour where I follow the mind in wanting to partake in the visual consumption of the something/someone beautiful. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when I look into the mirror by "standards of beauty" where I do not accept myself when I do not pass my own judgement/evaluation. 


I commit myself to end perception of the world through the filter of beauty.


I commit myself to end the intellectualisation of beauty through concepts of aesthetics. 


I commit myself to end and delete ideas of beauty attached to memories and embedded in culture.


I commit myself to stop judging myself and others on standards of beauty whether that is in behaviour or in the picture they/I represent. 


I commit myself to stop acting from superiority where I invade, indulge myself in beautification  of the environment.


I commit myself to stop all processes of evaluation of physical beauty. 


I commit myself to stop all justifications of beauty and end the abusive nature of all beauty. 


I commit myself to stand one and equal to all that is here and stop preferences, wants and desires to bring about a world that is best for all. 



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