Saturday, July 7, 2012

Day 81, 2012 My "things are not too bad" character and what I want in the picture of me - part 7

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created and participated in the character who thinks and acts from the starting point "things are not too bad" to suppress and undermine change of self. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my father who gestures with his hand and says with a haughty voice that "that's not so bad" in response to me coming to him as a small child for help, exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of my father who gestures with his hand and says with a haughty voice that "that's not so bad" in response to me coming to him as a small child for help.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define optimism, staying "cool", calmness, "positive thinking", and "peaceful existence" within the memory of my father who gestures with his hand and says with a haughty voice "that's not so bad" in response to me coming to him as a small child for help.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from optimism, staying "cool",  calmness, "positive thinking" and "peaceful existence" through defining optimism, staying "cool", calmness, "positive thinking" and "peaceful existence" within a memory of my father who gestures with his hand and says with a haughty voice "that's not so bad" in response to me coming to him as a small child for help, in separation of myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that optimism, staying "cool", calmness, "positive thinking" and "peaceful thinking" are here as me equal and one in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the memory of my father telling me "that's not so bad" experience myself in anger because my father does not acknowledge the severity of my experience. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the "things are not too bad" character to suppress my reality instead of facing it, by finding another more positive angle on what is happening, and by learning to endure the situation. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to endure my life and reality is not facing my reality and to act towards myself in self-abuse.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to endure my life and reality is not taking responsibility for it, and to not make changes so that the my reality is best for all, and thus stop all self-abuse. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother angrily telling me that I must endure things and that is part of life, exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of my mother angrily telling me that I must endure things and that is part of life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define strength, will, self-reliance, being unbeatable, and perseverance within the memory of my mother angrily telling me that I must endure things and that is part of life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from strength, will, self-reliance, being unbeatable, and perseverance through defining strength, will, self-reliance, being unbeatable and perseverance  within a memory of my mother telling me angrily that I must endure things and that is part of life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that strength, will, self-reliance, being unbeatable, and perseverance are here as me equal and one in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my life today to difficult situations in the past that I have lived through, to calm myself down and stimulate myself with hopeful thoughts,  because I reason that if I got out of the previous difficult situations then I can do it today.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being stoic is a desirable virtue, and have admired my godmother for her stoic ways. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use comparison within my own life to suppress myself and endure the situation instead of looking at it in self-honesty. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that calming myself down is self-abuse because what I create are compounded emotions that are lodged in my body and this results in manifested consequences. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to judge my situation within good/positive/right and bad/negative/wrong is to move from one polarisation to the next and keep oscillate between the two poles, trapping myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I talk to others about my "difficult" situation - I am looking for the same "calming" down effect, for some statement that I can latch onto which allows me to feel better and to continue in the same manner. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that consoling myself is part of the social system where we console others in their misery never showing or assisting others or ourselves in ways that lead out of the mindfuck and the self-imposed limitation - but to perpetuate the limitations and denial in how we live this life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this economic system we have accepted is promoting "positive thinking" as a remedy for momentary emotional fixes so that we go on sleeping never actually making any changes to create a system that is best for all.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that endurance of hardship is a religious concept - across all religions-  which has been hailed and praised by all as worthwhile achievement.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mask my own attachment to ego "confirmations" such as status, reputation as well as desire with the "things are not too bad" character. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the "things are not too bad" character works like a drug in that this character "jumps in" to numb me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I "get over" a rough patch, or that "I am having a bad day" and that by playing my situation down, I can hide from what is really going on within me and avoid exposure of my emotions.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not direct myself instead of taking on the "things are not too bad" character. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed to expose my emotions because I do not want to be seen as weak and helpless. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feed my ego by desiring to be strong and calm. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admire others who are strong and have been through a lot in their lives - and look for ways in how they have done it. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have an advantage in social situations when I do not display my emotional states. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have worked in environments where the display of emotions was counter productive and thus I have programmed myself to better suppress my emotions. 




I realise that I can end the "things are not too bad" character in one breath, and stand equal and one to all the situation I face within my life and utilise what is here to make changes. 


I commit myself to stop suppression using the "things are not too bad" character or any other character whose signature is suppression and withholding myself from myself. 


I commit myself to stop all memories and delete them in relation to the "things are not too bad" character.


I commit myself to take self-responsibility instead of resorting to the "things are not too bad" character and direct myself in my world so that it is best for all.


I commit to stop all comparison between my life then and my life today to be used to calm myself down


I commit myself to stop judging my experiences within polarisation and to keep myself entrapped in emotional poles. 


I commit myself to stop all ideas on enduring anything and direct myself within my world so that it is best for all. 


I commit myself stop all self-abuse and denial in my life and walk each point in self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. 


I commit myself to expose my ego to myself and stop all ego traps. 


I commit myself to stop all judgement of emotions and take them as indicator where I must apply myself fully in walking in self-forigveness and self-corrective application. 





[Continue reading...]

Friday, July 6, 2012

Day 80, 2012 My "I am so shy" character

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that hides behind shyness when shyness is a mechanisms to maintain judgement, greed, and superiority.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to maintain the character that is based on judgement: about myself, others as myself, and the world - by literally hiding behind the picture that I believe myself to be.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother's character stating "what will the neighbours think" to exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of my mother's character stating "what will the neighbours think".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define appearance, success, reputation and friendliness within the memory of my mother's character stating "what will the neighbours think".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from appearance, success, reputation and friendliness through defining appearance, success, reputation, and friendliness within the memory of my mother's character stating "what will the neighbours think", in separation of myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that appearance, success, reputation, and friendliness are here with me equal and one in every moment of breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my mother's character making a 180 degree adjustments when communicating with me in anger, and then, suddenly switching to communicate with someone other than a family member, in a nice and friendly manner. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a memory of my mother making a 180 degree adjustment when communicating with me in anger, and then, suddenly, switching to communicate with someone other than a family member, in a nice and friendly manner. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define dishonesty, abuse, rejection, disbelief and hiding within the memory of my mother making a 180 degree adjustment when communicating with me in anger, and then, suddenly switching to communicate with someone other than a family member, in a nice and friendly manner.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from dishonesty, abuse, rejection, disbelief and hiding through defining dishonesty, rejection, disbelief and hiding within the memory of my mother making a 180 degree adjustment when communicating with me in anger, and then, suddenly, switching to communicate with someone other than a family member, in a nice and friendly manner.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that honesty, abuse, rejection, disbelief and hiding are here with me equal and one in every moment of breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my mother's character "looking me over" before I step out of the door to be sure "I make a good impression on the world"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to be a character that believes that the way I look when I step out of my parents' house means that this is how represent my family or 'herkunft', literally 'there from which I depart', in and to the world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to play a character that believes that the way I look when I am moving in the world, is my responsibility to my parents and the lineage of my ancestors. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to be a character that hides by being a picture in the world because I fear not representing myself (my ancestors) adequately in word and image.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother's character observing and judging our neighbours for the way they look and how they behave exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand by in moments when I listened to my mother's character judging others, angry and helpless - yet wordless, because I fear my mother's character latching out on me because I do not agree with her. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed anger about my mother's character judging others and have thus programmed myself to judge myself and others, in much of the same way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed anger about my mother's character judging others and thus have programmed myself to be a character who judges myself and others, and regret that in the moment where I realise that "I don't know what to say and do here" I do not stop programming myself as a character that judges myself and others. 




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of my mother's character standing by the window and observing and judging the neighbours for the way they behave and the way they look. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define confusion, separation, hate, violence, aggression, evilness and disgust within the memory of my mother's character standing by the window and observing and judging the neighbours for the way they behave and the way they look. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from confusion, separation, hate, violence, aggression, evilness and disgust through defining confusion, separation, hate, violence, aggression, evilness, and disgust within a memory of my mother's character standing by the window and observing and judging the neighbours for the way they behave and the way they look, in separation of myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother's character stating to me "you look like a whore" me as a teenager in response to me putting make up on my face exist within.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto to a memory of my mother's character stating to me "you look like a whore" in response to me as a teenager putting make up on my face. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define rejection, worthlessness, and inferiority within the memory of my mother stating to me "you look like a whore" in response to me as a teenager putting make up on my face. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from rejection, worthlessness, and inferiority through defining rejection, worthlessness, and inferiority within the memory of my mother's character stating to me "you look like a whore" in response to me as a teenager putting make up on my face. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that rejection, worthlessness, and inferiority are here with me equal and one in every breath.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of myself complaining about my parents' behaviour to my aunt as a child and my aunt stating " they don't mean it that way" exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of myself complaining about my parents' behaviour to my aunt as a child and my aunt stating "they don't mean it that way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define approval, disbelief, defensiveness and victimisation within the memory of me complaining about my parents' behaviour to my aunt as a child and my aunt stating "they don't mean it that way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from approval, disbelief, defensiveness and victimisation through defining approval, disbelief, defensiveness and victimisation within the memory of me complaining about my parents' behaviour to my aunt as a child and my aunt stating "they don't mean it that way", in separation of myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that disbelief, defensiveness, and victimisation are here with me equal and one in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimise myself as the character who believes that "I am so shy" 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I step out of the character "I am so shy" I will be punished in some way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the character "I am so shy" saves me from my parents and the world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who is afraid of failure. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who does not "need" anyone.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who judges others from a superior viewpoint. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who depends on the picture that I project into the world, and who focusses on the responses of the world to the picture to modify, adjust, alter or hide even better as the picture. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who has no self-trust. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who escapes by hiding from self and others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who excuses to change myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who only wants to stand out of the crowd for good/positive/right things and wants to blend in otherwise.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who is too lazy to direct self. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who holds back on self-expression and suppresses creativity. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I as the character "I am so shy" is acting in greed because I do not share myself with others and exist in separation, yet I desire others to share themselves with me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who sees the world in good/right/positive or bad/wrong/negative.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who holds back from NOT being shy, and thus is afraid to get trapped in my interactions with other characters.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who holds back from NOT being shy, and thus regrets being trapped in my interactions with other characters. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who holds back from NOT being shy, and thus fears responding out of character when interacting with others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the character "I am so shy" who desires to be NOT shy and be able to interact with others without fears and limitations. 


I realise that I exist as this character because of my acceptances and allowances. 


I realise that I can stop the character "I am so shy" in one breath. 


I stop acting as the character "I am so shy". I do not accept the character "I am so shy" as me in any way.


I commit myself to investigate and delete all memories, attributes and thoughts in relation to the character "I am so shy" as I commit myself to delete all other characters I believe myself to be in this life. 


I commit myself to establish a world that is free of characters where all are here as life, equal and one. 









[Continue reading...]

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Day 79, 2012 My "I can't go on anymore" character

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that wants to change her life in one instance because all that is not working out just seems too much and "I can't go on anymore".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my mother's character who "can't go on anymore" and who I have used to program myself in the same manner. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall memories of my mother's character that used to play out "I can't go on anymore" to get my father's attention about an issue or a situation that needed to be changed. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall that my mother's character who stated "I can't go on anymore", which gave her permission to complain about my behaviour and her dissatisfaction with me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in guilt because I reacted to my mother's character who stated "I can't go on anymore".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I cause misery in other people's lives as I programmed myself to believe that I caused my mother misery and thus I programmed myself to remain by myself to avoid possibilities of bothering anyone.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my father's character who stated "I don't bother anyone" in response to my mother who complained about his behaviour. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of my father stating in response to my mother's complaints about his behaviour "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my father exist within me where he responds to my mother's complaints about him with "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define honesty, harmlessness, and being considered within a memory of my father responding to my mother complaining about his behaviour with "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from honesty, harmlessness, and being considered through defining honesty, harmlessness, and being considered within the memory of my father responding to my mother complaining about his behaviour with "I don't bother anyone", in separation of myself.


I realise that honesty, harmlessness, and consideration for others are here with me equal and one in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to play a character who believes and acts from the viewpoint of "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold back from interacting with others because I play the character "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate, worry, and judge before interacting with others, to evaluate myself and to make sure that "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my mother acting as the character that would state "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother exist within me where my mother's character states "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance within the memory of my mother's character stating "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance through defining unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance within the memory of my mother's character stating "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention, in separation of myself. 


I realise that I am equal to unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance by breathing here in the physical.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character "I can't go on anymore" when I want something or someone to clean up my situation.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the character "I can't go on anymore" is making a religious statement where I am referring to a greater power outside of myself which is god but since god is not real, this greater power then becomes the person who is closest to me at this time. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the character I play when I state "I can't go on anymore" does not want to take responsibility for what is here for what I have created, which then gives me an escape route of multiple dimensions, which is blaming others, getting sick, or dreaming of a better life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that states "I can't go on anymore" to make radical decisions where I do not consider what is best for all or consider the consequences of the decisions in the physical world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that states "I can't go on anymore" to make radical decisions in my world but to only say I will do what I decide, when in actuality I do not use the decision I have made in the physical but only use the decision to manipulate and sabotage myself and others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character that states "I don't bother anyone" to sabotage and manipulate myself and others.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character that states "I can't go on anymore" to sabotage and manipulate myself and others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself within the characters "I can't go on anymore" and "I don't bother anyone".


I realise that I can stop these characters in one breath, because I am not these characters. 


I commit myself to stop existing as all characters, and delete each character that I have chosen to play one by one.


I stop existing as character "I can't go on anymore", and I stop existing as character "I don't bother anyone".


I commit myself to be here in breath in the physical. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 78, 2012 My "I learn the hard way" character

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that believes that "I learn the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that all I do must come to me "the hard way", because I must "earn" what I deserve.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have sabotaged my activities so that I suffer and tailor my life to the character that learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that life is hard and that suffering is part of life, and if I do not suffer I am not living and thus not really learning anything. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to must be "intense" about living because I believe that I must play the character who learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that "the hard way" to learning and living is the right/good/positive way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with the belief that what comes to me the hard way stays with me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused myself through the character that I believe to be me who learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the proverbs my parents used to justify and accept that life must be hard and difficult is part of the Germanic cultural heritage, which acknowledges that abuse is part of learning and building character. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been part of a school system that used extensive fear and physical disciplining to install the belief in each student that we can be accomplished learners by doing it "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" in a number of ways. 


I forgive myself of accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" in making slow progress where the amount of work is not equal to the output. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" where I must commit myself to activities until I physically suffer before I have the satisfaction that I have given my best. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" through fear and worry which creates a belief that I have no options, and that only the worst case scenario will be the outcome. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" that I must be a repeater of a scenario, a situation, a circumstance until I get it right and can move on. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" with not letting it show when I suffer but to "keep my head up" and keep going. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by having to be radical in some way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by taking the option that requires the most loss, the most pain, the most investment, the most adjustment, the most sacrifice, and eschew all other options if they are too easy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" to be in conflict with myself where I desire/want/need but I do not give it to myself and thus must wait because I belief "the hard way" requires patience. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by pushing a situation to the limit until some devastating consequence occurs instead to looking at the situation from the beginning in common sense and preceding from common sense as starting point. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utlise stress, anger, worry, fear, anxiety, despair, impatience, self-righteousness, jealousy, laziness, competition, sabotage and manipulation in playing out the "I learn the hard way character" 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project "the hard way" character on others and thus expect others to do it the hard way and when they don't, I judge from a starting point of superiority.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of others who have things come to them "the easy way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that "the hard way", it is a character is an attachment that I can delete in one breath.


I realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the character who does it the "hard way" which is also evident in the lives of my parents, and which has been "encouraged" by my parents. 


I realise that I no longer need to play "the hard way" character and I give myself the permission to stop and let go of the burden of the past and all the consequential outflows. 


I commit myself to stopping all aspects of the "I do it the hard way" character, and all other characters that are supportive of the personality which is in charge of the "I do it the hard way" character. 


I commit myself to stop all separation of myself through the characters I play out within my personalities.

[Continue reading...]

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Day 77, 2012 Opposing characters: from dreaming to "just in case"

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play out the character who likes to "dream" that everything will be better tomorrow, whereby I allow myself to fanta-size about the various elements of my life, out of realistic proportion. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the character who, at all times, is on the look out for inexpensive utilitarian objects, simple little tools, as well as foods, and house/traditional remedies from the various countries I lived in, and to bring them back with me whenever I have the chance to. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have these opposing character tendencies where on the one hand I am happy-go-lucky believing that all things will always work out in my favour where I get what I want/dream about - yet on the other hand I am worried about not being practical enough and thus I plan and prepare in case I am in need of 'something'.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play on the one hand the character that is extremely organised but also be a character that does not care much about organisation and wants to treat the topic superficially. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have these polarised characters exist within me as themes throughout all I do, where on the one hand I am not taking responsibility and don't care about the consequences, and on the other I am compulsively applying myself because I am fearing consequences I create through my behaviour. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am a hypocrite within myself but that I readily judge others by their opposing behaviours whereby I fail to see my own. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see in these characters the tendencies of my parents as my parents are in many ways polar opposites, in terms of the main characters they play, as well as in their general approach to life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realise that I have configured my characters from the various characters my parents play, and that I have united these opposites within myself never realising that these opposing characters propel each other to be more extreme in how they play out, the more I acknowledge their existence and identify myself with them.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created characters out of resistances. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have separated myself from my parents and thus this has allowed me to be in denial about my parents characters which are dependent on my characters, and therefore I have not realised how the character co-dependency has kept me trapped throughout my life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that characters are view points with baggage and unless I look into the baggage I am not able to stop and delete these characters. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as characters in opposition which causes friction and through this I create energetic charges. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognise that the opposing and contrary situations I experience in the external world are exactly reflected as me, the characters I allow myself to be. 


I realise that 'polarisation' is one of the mechanics of the mind consciousness system and thus exists on all levels and that it is my responsibility to investigate polarisation within myself through the characters I play, and stop polarisation/opposition and delete the viewpoints so that I can be here as me, one and equal to all that is here.


I commit myself to identify the characters I have created within myself and to delete them one by one until it's done. 


I commit myself to no longer cater to other people's characters by not catering to my own, and accept to face the consequences as me here in breath. 


I commit myself to steadily work my process as part of the group of people who are changing themselves by deleting their characters, so that we can, together, bring about an equal money system. 

[Continue reading...]

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Day 76, 2012 Professional experience is just another limitation

- 0 comments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that professional experience is all I need to secure myself a good position for making money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that experience is a not a guarantee that I am in touch with the developments within my field and that I must always be here and inform myself and stop to rely on my professional past. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use experience to justify that I am deserving of a good job and position because I have been told that experience is an important factor when it comes to money-making in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that professional experience is a trap, that traps my ego into accepting the picture of me as the person who is ‘able’ and ‘capable’, because I have invested years of my life, yet it disconnects me with the reality of things because 'professional experience' is of the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on professional experience and thus do not question myself in how I created a relationship with my past experiences. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I feel weary about keeping up with the latest developments, and wish that I was just done with having to accumulate more information and take part in the race to the forefront of my professional field. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created the character: the professional who believes that I know what I do because I have “all this experience”. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this weariness that I experience I only experience because I project myself into the future and I look for meaning and purpose within the external world, without looking inside of myself, and thus create separation instead of realising that the only place where my world begins and ends is with me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that all activities that I have to do to make money in the current system will lead me to the same emotional place - unless I stop myself from using my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate the tradition of “elders” which is how we, as a society,  “recognise” those who have experience, and hold them in high esteem as particularly valuable to society because they have participated more and seen more of the world, when in actuality they have been more CONsumed by the mind and thus will make decisions and disseminate “wisdom” from the starting point of the mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept experience and thus memories as a valid manner to operate in the world. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I must be here every moment anew and fresh and that all that I conjure up based on experience is from the past and will blind me to what is actually here and what I need to do to apply myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that professional experience is the belief in accomplishment and relies on the past thus when relying on professional experience I am “occupied”  by my past, and cannot see what is here. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through accepting that I have professional experience. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this is how we preserve culture and create authority over others,  because we point to our experience, which is really our ego we use to manipulate others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have separated myself from what is in the world based on professional experience, not realising that if professional experience was so valuable in the various profession, in what they contribute to the world, then the world would already be heaven on earth. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that professional experience works in reverse, it establishes mechanism of stagnation within me where I refuse to investigate what is in front of me because I make assumptions about it and then operate from the starting point of assumptions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that professional experience is baggage that I carry around as I become very set in my ways. 
I realise that humans trap themselves through creating experience and that within a profession this experience is not seen as a trap until evaluated in the face of economic challenges where those who are too experienced become expendable.

I commit myself to no longer rely on experience in any way, and do what I must to function in the 'here' through the physical, which means that I accept to pursue the latest developments within my field from the starting point of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to stop all ways of the ego of which experience is a mechanism that keeps ego intact and on the pre-programmed trajectory of my life. 

I commit myself to bring about a system where professional experience of the individual will have no monetary value. 
[Continue reading...]

Monday, July 2, 2012

Day 75, 2012 The character thrill of the innocent

- 0 comments
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have established many characters, as me, led by the theme of innocence. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more innocent than my parents and that I have preserved innocence in my approach to life - as to the many characters I play.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have used innocence to shape my characters and to excuse myself to take up responsibility for who I am in this world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use innocence in my characters because I recognise the system we live by as abusive, deceptive and manipulative and by maintaining innocence I sought to escape the system. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that innocence is a good/positive/right, and that it conveniently provides me with being gullible when needed.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being gullible describes that something is being done to me by other people, an exploitation of sorts, of the character who is innocent which would be me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that hiding behind innocence within my characters has provided me with the excuses to have specific ways to exist in the system whereby I have used the innocence to pick out the focus of my life that is con-venient for me, such as spending most of my life in education.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the characters that I play are innocent and thus they are fundamentally exempt from having a lot of responsibility - similar to what how we see children in this society.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used various explanations such as being a late bloomer, or not having had a lot of interaction with my parents, as excuses to insist on the characters that build on innocence. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have elevated innocence as desirable character trait because it has gotten me through difficult situations with my parents and has provided me with the courage to make decisions without being too worried about the potential outcomes.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised how the innocence of my characters has kept me trapped and dependent on my parents. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep innocence as the main point when interacting with my parents because this is what I believe my parents want from me without creating a conflictual situation or challenging my interactions with them. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have spent years pursuing spiritual activities, such as meditation and the study of sanskrit, because this was supportive of innocence within my many characters. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wanted to be a nun at some point when I was a child because a nun seemed to be the perfect innocent character, as this was played out by one of my aunts who could never do anything wrong in the eyes of my parents.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used innocence in my characters to justify introversion because I did not want to "spoil" my characters through social interaction with others - as this may have challenged my characters and provoked change. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have chosen friends and acquaintances who would accommodate and validate the innocence in my characters.


I commit myself to stop and delete all characters I play and step out of character, including all themes under which the characters where established.


I commit myself to stop all fear of loss which prevents me from stepping out of character. 


I commit myself to not recreate myself in character but to rebirth myself from the physical.

[Continue reading...]
 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger