Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 40, 2012 Manipulation and sabotage between us

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when I realise that my partner has been sabotaging a situation, which entails trying to spoil my enjoyment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not draw the consequence on a particular manipulation scenario and stop sharing myself on that level until my partner stops the manipulation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by not drawing the consequences and stop sharing situations of enjoyments, I continue to support the manipulation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking action but instead hope for the situation to change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger to the behavior of when he sabotages our time together.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow abuse when I don’t set clear limits for what I allow and accept.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if I allow manipulation and sabotage, which I am aware of in another, I allow manipulation and sabotage to exist within myself as well. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my reaction of anger because I feel that he deserves me to be angry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that reactions of anger are self-defeating and are affecting my process by allowing for energetic charges and thoughts. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still to pretend to be angry even when I am no longer angry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend to be angry to teach the other a lesson, and because I believe that this helps the other to change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself in childhood to pretend to be experiencing an emotion to manipulate and sabotage others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that we are manipulating and sabotaging each other, and that by not creating clear agreements of what we are allowing and what not - we will repeat situations where we both accept and allow abuse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must be patient to allow for the other’s learning curve, which is female ego behaviour because I do not want to exist in conflict and take responsibility for what I accept. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that I must stop my female ego behaviour because it is not who I am.
I commit myself to continue our once a week meeting to review our self-honesty progress, and to find better ways to track what happens during the week so that the issues can be better addressed when we have our weekly review. 
I commit myself to stop my female ego participation with my partner
I commit myself to stop participating in situations that have caused manipulation and sabotage, and do what is best for all. 

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Day 39, 2012 Ego stroking

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek out situations and respond to them on automatic pilot because I want others to say kind words to me and be thankful.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am just helping someone when I pick something up they have dropped, or when I hold the door open, or when I let someone go in front of me when standing in a queue.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pursue acts of kindness out of self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have trained myself in using kindness as a tool to manipulate others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to no longer want to engage in social etiquette because I realise it’s just lipservice, yet I am engaging in “little acts of kindness” that are energy based and feed my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can participate in the social conventions at a minimal level without energetic charge. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that as long as I have strong dislike towards social conventions and social etiquette, I have an emotional energetic investment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I still like recognition for my work instead of understanding that this feeds the cycle of competition and diversion and keeps me and others enslaved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that attachment to energetic highs has enslaved me through ‘liking my work’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my ego and automatic responses in public situations are connected. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself in a ‘good light’ when I am in public situations. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be friendly to others I don’t know because it sets up a dynamic for manipulation, and through manipulation can I get what I want. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have wanted to be a 'good' person not realising that good/bad people is the polarisation that keeps us enslaved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised what the consequences are - when I desire help us those who are worse off than me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to help others so that I can feel better about myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say things to others that are deceptive because I want ‘something’ in return.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continously position myself as higher or lower - in relation to others around me.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being proud and wanting others to come to me instead of me reaching out to be with others. 
I commit myself to end stroking my ego.
I commit myself to vigilantly uncover ego mechanisms in the various behaviours of my person. 
I commit myself to embrace myself with all its ego so that I can change me and become Self as the physical body. 


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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 38, 2012 I am women in this society

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear physical touch on parts of my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to know not why I fear to be touched on certain parts of my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must protect my body from tender touch because this touch cannot be trusted. 
I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to experience my body in a fragmented manner where some parts are more equal than others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to instructions in my childhood, that tell me that I have to sit with my legs together to avoid exposing my sexual organs to men. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to instructions in my childhood, to walk in small steps because that is more feminine. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself, as a child, to make a curtsy, bending my knees in respect to others, where I learned to bend my Self because of my gender and to accustom myself with the position of women in the society. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to identify femininity in long hair, pretty clothes, and shoes with heels. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that standing on heels is indicative of being off the ground, disconnected from reality and unstable - to a point where the physical body is nearly immovable compared to standing with my feet fully on the ground. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look into the mirror not to see me as Self but the image I would like to project into the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that aging does not preserve femininity, and that old women have lost their expression as females in the world. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my breasts to other women’s breasts in terms of signs of aging and loss of shape.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like my breasts because they show only few signs of aging and loss of shape.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be more concerned with how my body looks than in how I feel in my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wrestle with myself about liking or not liking clothes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly wish we would all have to wear uniforms so that I no longer would have to deal with this point in my life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wear clothes to please others and keep an image intact rather than because I like  certain clothes as self-expression.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not wear the clothes I like because I believe that they are too striking and bring attention to me which does not fit my image and the reputation I want to uphold.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change through creating a stagnate idea of myself in form of a belief in reputation. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to blend in and not stand out of the crowd because I believe that this would cause longterm, monetary disadvantages to exist in the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have only a few really good clothes that I have designed myself because this would take the clothes point out of my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that even though I would want to have only a few good clothes designed by me, I do not believe this is possible because I am, as a woman, judged by what I wear. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am judged by what I wear because I am a woman.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seduce myself with creative styling, which I recognise in my enjoyment of wearing certain clothes and also when seeing fashion images that correspond to my taste. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know how to react when men stare at me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to respond energetically to men staring at me even though I am not certain what to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick out men for interaction in critical situations, involving authorities and official matters, because I believe I can manipulate men to my advantage. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with symbols of femininity that I implement in the image I want to project into the word. 
I commit myself to strip myself of all beliefs of femininity and be here as Self who enjoys her body as physical substance.
I commit myself to end all image creation through dressing and enjoy dressing as my expression. 
I commit myself to end all identification with feminine symbolism and expose it for what it is, to play the energy game and create limitations of who I can be as woman in this world. 
I commit myself to support all women in letting go of programs of femininity and conformity towards the image of an ideal women, which is now so prevalent in our world in all forms of visuals. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 37, 2012 What to do?

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create circumstances and situations where I am unclear on what to do on the basis of someone else’ input.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not respect the system's formula within working in my field and thus by “not conforming” and being different sabotage my work and “success”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I must be realistic in what I can achieve within this system and make this my starting point instead of my individual perspective which thrives on being different, and is thus me allowing my ego to run the show - and run it into the ground. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stick to my commitment to always clear my starting point to discover if I have any ego prangs that I allow underhandedly to participate in my application within the system. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I know what to do at all times and the obstruction to not-knowing-what-to-do is due to me not trusting myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that emotions block me from seeing what to do - although I might not be able to perceive them in their gross manifestations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that emotional charges can be very subtle and that I have taught myself to exist in suppression where I am blocking myself from the perception of the charge. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create blocks to access myself in common sense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience pressure in my chest area as a result from blocking myself to move forward, literally. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on others for guidance and perspectives and thus trap myself when others are not available in a timely manner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that not knowing what to do in any particular situation is self-sabotage. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always know in hindsight what to do but am unable to see this when I am in the situation itself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to block myself from accessing common sense instead I rely on stress because I believe it helps me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not slow down and make my breathing the most important aspect of me existing here in this moment, but instead give the external world and the task within it more importance-  than me slowing down, and in doing that sabotage the work itself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in a subtle frenzy because I am faced with a deadline. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to listen to my self-defeating self-talk and believe the content.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame others around me for my experience and the attachment to the external goal that I am pursuing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine the consequences if I stop buying into the rush and slow myself down.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my belief in limitations of what I can and cannot do is at the origin of where I allow energetic charges to be created. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to see what is here I need to be here as Self and not the mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still believe that the mind knows more than Self. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have attachment to the outcome of the situation, and thus justify listening to my mind. 
I forgive myself for accepitng and allowing msyelf to not realise that the doors of opportunity lie in me facing myself in difficult situations and moving through them with breath by stopping the mind instead of believing that the opportunity for my future lies within an accomplished achievement in the external world. 
I commit myself stop creating attachments to goals and ideas of what an external achievement will provide for me.
I commit myself to stop relying on others in my work and create clear starting points for all engagements such as all writing and speaking in a professional context. 
I commit myself to see professional situation as opportunities for my Self to remain in breath and stop making them more important than me. 
I commit myself to, in addition to checking my starting point, check my priorities through applying common sense, and make sure that they are in alignment with what is best for all. 

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Day 36, 2012 Asthma

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I had Asthma as a teenager, which I was able to get rid off in my early 20’s.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become asthmatic because I was looking to escape facing myself within the family situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become asthmatic because I wanted to be cared for, which I only believed to receive when I was not feeling well. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Asthma because I was tired of the struggle at home, and in being asthmatic I sought to get a break.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Asthma because I thought that dying from Asthma would punish my mother who I perceived as abusive towards me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Asthma because I liked the attention I got when I had an attack. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Asthma because I felt helpless towards my home situation, and I needed something to hold on to, and the illness gave me a focussing point I was hanging on to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Asthma because I did not want to deal with going out into the world, as I perceived my world to be hostile I also perceived the world outside of my world as hostile, the Asthma provided me security and a place to hide. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get energy from the adrenaline of Asthma attacks where I would have to fight to survive in my physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thrive on the challenge of survival as a way to distract myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use Asthma as an excuse to excuse myself from interacting with others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself through social interaction, because I have programmed myself to believe that interactions have a confrontational starting point, where I have to protect myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use Asthma to hide my jealousy of others who were ‘fearless’ in the social interactions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have let go of Asthma once I left my parent’s house, to proof to my parents that it was all their fault that I had Asthma when living with them. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use Asthma to express my anger against my parents and the world. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use Asthma to gain benefits from others, by having an excuse I could always draw on. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that the Asthma could come back someday in the future. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret having abused myself through Asthma. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have contributed, as part of the mindconsciousness system to an economic system where children grow up as slaves of their parents, who are clueless about life and raising children and pass on their pattern of abuse.
I commit myself to stop all self-abuse through illnesses.

I commit myself to uncover all patterns related to illness that I have used to program myself to exist in this world.

I commit myself to learning how pain works in conjunction with the mindconsciousness system. 

I commit myself to work towards an equal money system so that there is no more possibility for parents to abuse children and children will stop to be financially dependent on their parents and are free to make decisions where they want to live.
[Continue reading...]

Day 35, 2012 Vermiform appendix

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have experienced the removal of my appendix through fear of loss.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my parents walking away from me in the hospital while I am being restrained screaming, exist within me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my parents walking away from me in the hospital while I am being restrained screaming. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define abandonment, betrayal, and punishment within a memory of my parents walking away from me in the hospital while I am being restrained screaming.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from abandonment, betrayal, and punishment through defining the abandonment, betrayal and punishment within a memory of my parents walking away from me in the hospital while I am being restrained screaming, in separation of myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am here in totality of all existence and that I am an equal part of this totality, in every way in every breath. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abandonment, betrayal, and punishment are attributes of the ego and the mind which manifest in thoughts, that I can release any time I want to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that thoughts are not real because when I release them I remain here, and all emotional/feeling sensations are gone. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my parents where acting within their programmed patterns and all the while that is no excuse, it is no reason to blame them. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop blaming my parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to experience myself with an infected appendix that had to be taken out when I was a child. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have participated in creating the consciousness program that when organs no longer function properly, they have to be removed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised that organs are me and that their beingness is equal to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that organs are the orchestration of my abilities to move around and to exist in the physical world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept definitions of the body and its organs, as “less than” me because of the starting point of mind over matter, never allowing myself to investigate what matter and the physical really is and to live in the assumptions that what I have been taught about the physical reality is absolute. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept definitions of the body and its organs as “more than” me because of the perception that materiality or physical reality is unchangeable and that I thus have to obey nature because the laws of nature are absolute and cannot be changed, and in that I have separated myself from nature and physical substance not realising that I exist in oneness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted the role of the physical in separation of the role of the mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience regret because I was not able to determine the fate of my appendix. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger because had no say in whether I wanted to have my appendix removed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted the definition of an organ, such as the appendix, not having any value in my physical body because science cannot determine its function. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have to labelled organs with functionality and performance so that I can accept them as valuable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised that organs are life, and that the value of life is life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as part of consciousness system, accepted abuse of the physical body in the pretense to heal it. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have participated in the creation of an economic system that exchanges money for organs, bodies, limbs, animals, and various other parts of the human and animal body in order to satisfy greed and self-interest. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that the mind abuses the physical body and that I am my mind, thus I abuse the physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abuse ranges from pouring very hot water on my hands when washing them, to pushing hard when I sit on the toilet. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept physical abuse in all its dimensions against all beings. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised the reality of physical abuse. 
I commit myself to stopping all physical abuse.
I commit myself to recognise the physical as me as life and therefore life in all that is here. 

I commit myself to work towards an economic system, the Equal Money System, where all life is honored as life and where illness and disease are approached from the point of "releasing the mindconsciousness system", and the healing of the physical body entails psychological technologies of resonance alignment and the stopping of backchat, as well as therapeutical approaches and remedies that are assist the body by acknowledging that “like cures like”.
[Continue reading...]

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day 34, 2012 Stopping myself judging

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others on the basis of my  morality programming. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others in automatic behaviour not recognising that I am behaving exactly like them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others by allowing myself to engage in internal self-talk to justify that I am not as bad as them. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others in comparison to my wants and desires. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others in blame because I do not want to take self-responsiblity. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others because my ego seeks revenge because it has not been recognised by others. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge what I do as within polarisation so that I can either punish or celebrate myself in self-talk and compensation behaviours. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others on the basis of their looks, their actions and responses.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to judge all that is around my through the programming I have accepted and allowed to exist within me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that judgement is part of our culture, where we are rewarded by others, if we judge according to the system we function in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that judgment can never be good/positive/right nor bad/negative/right and that any judgement within polarisation causes separation and fragmentation and is not based on common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that judgement is driven by ego, which will seek to justify whatever it judges through reasoning. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the mind uses judgement in its base-programming to engage in backchat
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I judge others I also judge myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and others because I want to keep my ego going.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it will be difficult to exist within the matrix if I no longer judge anything. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I move slower I can stop the judgements I make in my mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that judgement is based on the picture I see which is not real - thus judgement is an illusion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that letting go of judgement is accepting my past as me and stand equal to it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to judgement the moment I realise that I am judging. 
I commit myself to stop judgement about myself and others. 
I commit myself that when I encounter myself to judge others through automatic behaviour I stop and breath. I do not accept judgement and will take responsibility to stop it. 

I commit myself to stop judgement and all constructs related to winning and losing and by doing so work towards the establishment of a new system, the Equal Money System where judgement is abolished, in every form, and replaced by equality where all have equal shares of all that is available within the system. 

[Continue reading...]
 
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