Saturday, May 19, 2012

Day 32, 2012 Stopping my Self within cultural di-visions

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the world around me in separation through nations, countries, culture and language.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself through stereotypes and collectively accepted definitions to like and dislike nations, countries, culture and language. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I project the accepted and predefined definitions and stereotypes of nations, countries, culture and language onto the people around me, and that through that I judge attributes of each nation, country, culture and language in polarisation of good/right/positive and bad/wrong/negative. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created likes and dislikes according to how I perceive a culture's mentality, and thus judge the people who live in that culture.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created an aversion to Germany because of how I judge Germans and the Germanic culture. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify myself with the judgements of the German culture as long as I perceive these as good/right/positive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike German culture and to be attracted to Armenian/Middle Eastern culture because that culture represents the ‘unknown’ part of me, where I have no direct lived experience, and only knowledge of genetic relations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged by others because of the country/culture of my origin.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within the beliefs of my cultural heritage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit and trap myself by confirming these beliefs when I read, listen, or interact with the people of a particular culture.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to like and dislike certain countries and people because I have lived there, and interacted with the people and participated in the culture, and experienced my Self as positive/right/good or as negative/wrong/bad. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that cultural mentalities are like personalities, on a larger scale, with all the same characteristics just differently configured. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have more advantages in one country versus another. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to settle within one country because I believe that moving, as much as I have, now warrants a more settled life style.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am tired of moving from country to country. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that moving countries is wasting my time in process because I believe that it takes effort to get settled in a place. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have attachment to countries I lived in, where I spent a large part of my life, and have accumulated a collection of memories, not realising that these memories are ties to programmed behaviours and beliefs - that I want to keep as part of my self-definitions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that one day I will not be able to travel freely because of the continuously deteriorating economic and political situation on a global scale, and thus I fear being trapped in one country.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear limitation without the ability to travel. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to settle temporarily in my environment because I know that at some point I will move again. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a belief that I can settle somewhere temporarily and within that I believe that I must limit myself because I project myself into the future when I must move again. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘living in a place’ through access, objects, services, and activities pertaining to the various bodies and organisations within my environment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I see advantages and disadvantages in every country I have lived, instead of realising that culture and language is based on the same political and governmental mechanisms everywhere because these are the outflows of who we are as people/personalities and within that - we are all equally programmed. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have preferences attached to attributes of culture and personalities alike.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as part of consciousness, created patriotism as the energetic force that keeps these divisions of nation, country, culture and language in tact. 
I commit myself to end all self-definitions based on geographical, cultural origin and to stop all judgements of mentalities as I stop all judgements of personalities, and by doing so I accept that all as me, and change my Self to be equal and one. 
I commit myself to end of cultural di-visions by nations, countries, culture and language from the point of economic, political, and psychological self-definitions and 'di' (separating) visions by bringing about an equal money system - where the geographical location of a person on planet earth has no bearing on the quality of life. 
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Friday, May 18, 2012

Day 31, On the ban that Self accepts

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandon my Self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am able to abandon myself not realising that this fear is indeed the ‘ban’ on my Self that I create when I do not stand as equal to all that is here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of abandonment is the fear that I can give up on me, which I can instigate through my mind, the confirmation of ego mechanisms that I identify with, and that cause havoc in my life - if I believe in the thoughts that are surrounding these mechanisms and I allow them to prompt me to action. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abandonment means a ban that I impose (donner) on my Self, to not see what I have allowed and accepted to become. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abandonment is the bond that I have created in self-enslavement with the mind between myself and all selves that are me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this fear of abandonment is the fear of doing to myself what I have done to all of creation, where I have run away from my responsibility as integral part of existence, and have come up with excuses, life time after life time, why I should not wake up, stand up, and change myself to change the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see this reality as the reflection of me, the acceptance of not-caring behaviour exposed to my very eyes every time I see animal abuse, the raping of the earth for resources, and the commodification of childhood and children -  all which is silently enduring the hallmark of a humanity chained by self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to easily blame others so that I stand free from self-responsibility for my experience of abandonment, with the excuse that I was only a child yet not grasping that abandonment is an accumulative effect of the cycles of abuse, that we all have lived as children and parents alike, and collectively allowed and accepted to exist. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of abandonment is fear of rejection of self, the fear of not being needed and not belonging, which is the mind’s statement on not wanting to die. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can stop self-banning any moment through self-trust and walking in breath to be here with all that is here, at all times. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognise that what I perceive as abandonment between myself - a ban provided by my mind - is the result of polarisation of accepting the “less than” position from within the two poles of “less than” and “more than” - and that this constitutes the absence of equality. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused substance through the creation of thoughts that are fears of abandonment which have manifested in various places of my physical body. 
I commit myself to stopping all thoughts within the awareness that these are the outflow of programs that I have allowed and accepted to define me, and within that I am the one who believes these thoughts to be true, and in that I am not living on earth but in my mind.
I commit myself to realising all the intricate connections between the mind and my thoughts, and to render these aware to myself and in doing so I no longer ban my Self through the programmed ties of my mind. 
I commit myself to end the separation that I allow to exist as me when I believe my thoughts which I do by taking responsibility for what goes in my mind, in my actions and in my world. 
[Continue reading...]

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Day 30, 2012 In concentration on a task

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that concentration on an activity or task is related to me being here. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need time to get into an activity or task, to be deeply concentrated, not realising that I have programmed myself to believe this to be true.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the quality of my work is dependent on how well I can concentrate on the activity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the quality of my work is connected to being here, and not being in thought. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer to be concentrated on one thing at a time because I believe that I can produce better results. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised that anxiety has been reason why I, at times, cannot work better, faster, and more effectively.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the goal of being more effective, rather than being here in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that to switch from one activity to another and be equally effective is a cognitive issue, rather than the degree to which I am here in this moment, breathing. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door when I am studying - where I think I will get to a certain aspect of what I am studying later on, when in actuality I am not, and have simply habituated myself to believe this thought.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door when I am studying - where I think I will get to a certain aspect of what I am studying later on, when in actuality I am not, and then the item goes onto my todo list until I deal with it in a pressing moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that studying is programming myself with information and that I can do this any time, any where, and that it does not diminish the quality of learning. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I program myself with new information by breathing here, I make the information me, here in this moment, and have no need to memorise. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door not to understand something in detail because I do not cease the moment to understand, here, which then requires me to go back and repeat what I was learning at some later point, and by doing so, I use my time ineffectively.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that walking my process is walking the specificity of me where every move I make is significant. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that practicality and common sense are both hinging on how much I remain here in the moment and identify my patterns of behaviour/thinking/believing to release these, to self-direct every moment of my life. 
I commit myself to, step by step, investigate all my activities and uncover through awareness the patterns I have accepted to be me and thus when I do so, I release them through self-forgiveness and walk the self-corrective application here in breath. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 29, 2012 Items on my todo lists

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that not being decisive about items on my todo lists is because I am afraid of making mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear making mistakes and not realising that this it is the very fear that is causing me to make mistakes. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that not being decisive on the things that I know I have to do is a form of denial of a future event that is coming, which I have to deal with one way or another, and that when I put it off, to deal with it later, till the future is a little closer, because I believe I will know better what to do, I inevitably complicate the situation for myself and others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that I must deal with what is here what I know about it, instead of making excuses about whether that which I must deal with fits into the future, which is unknown to me in this moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not like having ‘loose ends’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself with anxiety and fear when I have loose ends in my life. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that having 'loose ends' is being out of control of one's life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to label unfinished, unclosed events, or situations as loose ends. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that every time I am not decisive and act according to what needs to be done, even if the eventual outcome is in the future, I end up paying a price for it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that when I am aware of an issue in the present and even though the execution of this issue is in the future I must still understand that the issue itself is here, at this time, in this moment, and that it needs to be directed, and that waiting for it to come closer in time to deal with it, is leaving it undirected.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have items on my todo list that I keep putting off because they are inconvenient and I have a resistance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in believing that I cannot get up-to-date with my todo list.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have always have long todo lists and that I have not managed to be free of long todo list.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complicate my life by living according to the phrase “better safe than sorry” - not realising that every 'savety' mechanisms comes with some sort of responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with the phrase "better safe than sorry" rather than use common sense and apply it by questioning the situation and evaluate the outcome in common sense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame my life style (of having lived across the globe) for the reason that I have so many administrative things on my plate, and that I do not realise that the reason for this is how I am handling things. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that anxiety comes with my todo list. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have examined the process of how I do things in more detail, to find a better way to deal with my todos.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to envy other beings, for example animals, for the simplicity of their life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for constantly trying to get away from having todo list - yet going about it in an emotionally charged manner where I aim to simplify my life by stripping "things" “people” and “activities” away, instead of looking at my process of self-direction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly try to get away from having todo lists by stripping things, people, and activities away not realising that this is a form of escape from myself because I do not confront myself but rather my external reality, to simplify my life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have looked into this issue much earlier with self-forgiveness and stop all patterns connected to todos. 
I commit myself to investigate my handling of todo items on my list, and to take each item seriously where I realise why I have certain resistance, I stop the resistance and I do what needs to be done, to direct myself in this manner and become more efficient in my daily living.
I commit myself to bring all my time issues / todo list issues back to self and not look for external solutions, unless it is necessary from a common sense perspective. 

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Monday, May 14, 2012

Day 28, 2012 The material stigmatisation of poverty

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsciousness system, to stigmatise those with less money through limiting their individuality, which is considered a birth right by those with money.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsicousness system, to make this stigmatisation visible to the world in every way, through the 'cookie-cutter' approach to social housing (which is the same in every country), the look and feel of cheap clothing, and other materiality that indicates to the world less quality, less choice, and less customisation possiblities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsciousness system, to make individual expression dependent on money. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this stigmatisation to label, justify, and to program the children, those who are born to poor families, to ensure that they do not grasp, learn, or understand how they are being stigmatised, by utlising the material culture around them to instill beliefs of limitation, as well as beliefs of appreciation for the materiality that typifies the ‘poverty class’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to extend this stigmatising towards all levels of societal life, of those in poverty, including the choice of profession, where those who execute menial jobs, or labour work, are stigmatisied as contributing less valuable work to society.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise, as part of the mindconsciousness system, that all beings are interdependent, but especially those who have the typical jobs of the 'poverty class', that are the jobs that make sure I have my basic needs met. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsciousness system, to deliberately create harsh working conditions for those who are working in menial jobs so that they do not have the time or space to learn about the world, the workings of the world, and the inequalities because I fear that if they do, they would stand up and stop their participation which would end the comfortable life of those with money. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsicousness system, to make products that are of lower quality, which stretch from food to furniture to tools, across every area of consumption - which are sold to those with little money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as part of the mindconsciousness system, to create fast food restaurants, which are predominantly meant for those with less money and sell unhealthy food causing those with less money to develop physical problems that are stigmatised, such as obesity. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that there is a parallel material culture which keeps those with money separate from those who have little money. 
I commit myself to end this situation of stigmatising and to stop all ideas, concepts and products that are of a stigmatising nature. 
I commit myself to walk my process so that we can end all poverty and to apply myself to bring about an equal money system where we learn to see each other as equals in every way, and where we can establish a common ground within the material world based on common sense and what is best for all. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 27, 2012 Trekpaardenfeest Sint-Pietersplein Gent

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, used horses to entertain myself and others, treating horses as slaves for human pleasure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, abused horses in the creation of a picture of the horse to my liking, and my use of the picture, and in this have not respected the being that is the horse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, used horses to extend myself in competition without having given any consideration to the horse because I believe that I am entitled to use all animals as a resources for humans.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, abused the horse as the representation as extension of its owner, to feed within myself and others the energetic high of winning and losing. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have reacted to the devastating picture of horses being tied up unable to move, and with blinders unable to see, where the horses were clearly suffering, and where I reacted to the expression of the horse which was sad, defeated, and suffering - not realising that this abuse reflects the abuse that we also inflict onto humans, onto ourselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I see animals suffering in human hands, I judge from a position of superiority because I cannot accept that is I who partakes in a system that is abusive to all, and that no animal will be free if humans remain enslaved within this mind-consciousness system - and that this includes me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger ‘against all humans’ because I believe that what I/we do to animals is far worse than the human-to-human abuse because I understand animals as innocent, as burden carrier for humans, whereas I see humans as having brought suffering onto themselves. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by experiencing myself in anger I am separating myself from what is in the world, from all the animals and also the humans, and within that I do not take responsibility. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my experience of myself in powerlessness, not being able to turn off the abuse as entertainment that I recognise, and that this is the way of denying my responsibility, to stop what I see by stopping myself - because I do not realise that this does not enter into my reality unless I am confronted with the sight, the performance of abuse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by judging the situation in front of me, and by creating feelings of compassion, I confirm myself as abuser, not realising that if I stand without judgement and without feelings towards the picture I perceive I walk myself to freedom and truly support those who have been on the receiving end of the abuse. 
I commit myself to be consistent within my application to self-change, and to stop myself as soon as I perceive myself judging the  rites and rituals of sub-cultures, and to recognise within that my reaction which is based on acceptance of separation. 

[Continue reading...]

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Day 26, 2012 Obsessive behaviour patterns in my work habits

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have attachment to frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself attached to the situation where I am working until I have reached a point of frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in frustration and manifest a mood, the gloomy doom, that I create because I don’t move myself in common sense. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I am creating a self-abusive scenario when I am becoming obsessed within holding on to working on one task.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I have habituated myself within the mechanisms of frustration, which is predicated by obsession. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can stop my frustration any time, and instead of experiencing myself in f(t)rust-ration where I have turned trust on it’s head and ‘rationed’ trust within myself, I can stop all frustration by breathing here and acting in common sense. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the excuses I give myself for continually pursuing a task even when it’s time to stop are related to obsessive behaviour, playing out in the execution of tasks related to my work, where I do not pace myself and limit myself only to ‘register’ the resulting levels of frustration at the end. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to experience myself in frustration is to experience myself in defeat, in that I stand as inferior to the tasks that I am executing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I have programmed myself to accept frustration as partial to the kind of work I do, and the belief that if I don’t keep working in an obsessive manner that I will not finish the work in time. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the experience of frustration is connected to fear of loss, of either finishing the task at which point it is over - so the loss of the task ending - and/or not finishing the task in the time frame I have for it, and thus not making the deadline. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise to create frustration in this manner is a diversion and fear from acting with self-direction. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to experience myself in frustration, as I am working, is a form of suppression where I suppress my self expression, and thus trigger a variety of other behaviours to deal with the suppression. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can be free to experiment in making a comfortable work schedule for myself, and over time will find out what works for me, instead of falling into the ‘production machine’ pattern because I have trained myself in this way throughout the years of working in professional settings where the only objective was to 'meet the target' that was set by those who were in supervising positions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the ‘working’ habit I have created.
I commit myself to establish a balance between all parts of activities that I do throughout the day.
I commit myself to look at my habitual patterns of behaviour when conducting my work and to free myself from any form of obsession and self-abuse that ends up with me feeling frustrated. 
I commit myself to ending all emotions that result from automated behaviour I have accepted as me, and to act in common sense. 
[Continue reading...]
 
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