Saturday, May 12, 2012

Day 25, 2012 An uneasy dream - pointing to knowledge and information

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I had a dream where I swallowed a chewing gum. It left me disturbed even after I woke up. I have not chewed gum in years. I only recall chewing gum in my teenage years. In my dream I swallowed the chewing gum unintentionally and then became afraid because I was not able to understand what kind of consequences this would have for my body. I imagined the gum travelling through my intestines and then became preoccupied with how I can eliminate the gum from my body.
to chew = break down of information and knowledge (nourishment if it's supportive for the body), assimilation
chewing gum = a toxic substance, not meant for consumption, not supportive of the body, a diversion, absence of nourishment, going through the motions, not real
to swallow = acceptance, to be in accord with, to take in, to build on

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept information and knowledge as me instead of realising that knowledge and information is a system program that operates and that I have accepted to replace me living here. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept information and knowledge as me not realising, being aware, that this is keeping me occupied and diverted from understanding the real purpose of knowledge and information, as supportive element in the energy-system/world system of money. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that knowledge and information is useless if it is not best for all and must be applied to be best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I feel good studying and learning new ideas/concepts/theories that I hide from myself and bury myself in the energetic highs while deluding myself, and not facing the reality in which I participate.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that accumulating knowledge and information is a form of consumerism, which leads to actual material consumption because it builds on identical mechanism which underlies all consumerism, and drives our capitalistic system in the abuse of substance and physicality. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that education is ‘measuring’ my energy performance, utilising knowledge and information, so that the more I perform and apply myself the more the system will reward me with status and recognition
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise to be cultured is a form of acquiring and consuming knowledge and information - that culture entertains and diverts me and ultimately only feeds my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself that who I am is here and does not need to be adorned with knowledge and information. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can engage in knowledge and information and walking the knowledge and information as me, I become it and thus I impart Self as expression as the living word. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that knowledge and information is the currency of how I move in the system - not more, not less -  and that by accepting knowledge and information in this manner, I see writing articles, studying, or learning as a necessity to function within the system so that I can change the system into an equal money system.

I commit myself to walking my process to nothingness and from there stand up as life by birthing myself as substance, so that I am here in the living flesh as the living words.
I commit myself to walking my process and utlising information and knowledge in the way that is best for all, so that I am an equal contributor to the creation of a world of equality and oneness 
I commit myself to learning to use my dreams as a indicators to issues/points within my process.  
[Continue reading...]

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Day 24, 2012 Replace all assumptions with communication

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that there are no good/positive/right and no negative/bad/wrong assumptions but that all assumptions are of the mind. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I assume I do not communicate, and I initiate my actions from a place of my mind instead of a shared space within physical reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that assumptions are a form of active separation from life, and that I have programmed myself to assume because I have been taught within my education to validate the making of assumptions as part of learning to apply logic and reasoning in my life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have communicated that which I have assumed within the various contexts of interaction with others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realise that assumptions are the foundations for my reactions and that these assumptions never include anyone else but myself, and thus are a signature of my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that assumptions - a-sum-that-present-the-shin (shaft) - the root of inter’fear’ence - of separation of myself from others, and myself from myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that within my backtalk I must examine my assumptions about any situation and anyone else, who I have backtalk about, as that opens up where I am not equalised and thus I can guide myself to equality and oneness through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I fear communication with others and this is why I make assumptions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear communicating with others because I don’t trust myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that making assumptions is a way to lock myself into my secret mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear making myself vulnerable when I communicate with others because I expose all of me within my communication even when I am consciously not aware of it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stating the obvious in communication when I realise that we have never been able to see the obvious in the first place, and that this is what has stopped us from finding out who/what/why we are - because it is in making the obvious accessible to all that we can see our self-created enslavement. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make assumptions so that I can hold back parts of myself which I believe gives me power and control over a situation without putting all my cards on the table. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I act from assumptions and hold back I will deal with the manifested consequences in my communication and interactions with others from this starting point onwards. 
I commit myself to stopping all assumptions within interactions with others, and as soon as I detect myself making an assumptions I will actively engage in communication with the other to state what I am making an assumptions about. 
I commit myself to stopping all assumptions within projecting myself into the future, and as soon as I realise that I have been lost in a future projection and made assumptions about an event, a situation, a place and/or a person, I breathe and apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. 

[Continue reading...]

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Day 23, 2012 'Cycling' through energetic charges

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give power to my future projection when dealing with ‘substantial’ situations that require me to apply myself to solve the situation so that it is best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that it is so easy for me to ‘fall into future projections’ because I exist within the denial of self-application as the only solution that is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I cannot be trusted as life, as acting for what is best for all, when I react to written words with an energetic charge because I believe that there is something out there that is providing me with the solution to my problem.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I must be here at all times and that any situation that presents itself as potential solution is only a potential - not more, not less, and that even if the solution comes to fruition, there is never a reason why I need to create an energetic charge regarding the situation and its solutions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that an energetic charge created by me in response to an external stimuli that happens to match up, filling my perceived lack or my expectation - indicates that I am existing in separation because if I am one and equal here to all that occurs within my life and within the world I am not existing within emotions and feelings and I am not existing in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I react with an energetic charge of feelings towards a potential situation that solves my ‘problem’ I am reacting within my ego -that wants to feel like a winner to recharge itself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that ANTI-CI-PATION means "I", as the being, "C"ycle between what I perceive as lack and that what I expect to happen by projecting myself into the future, on the basis of a potential solution - whereas I am ‘going against patience’ and in that I am flying ever faster and higher in my mind - which inevitably causes me to crash land from which I start a new cycle within the next situation of reacting/acting within energetic charges.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the situations that I perceive as difficult to solve are gifts to myself where I can move myself through self-direction, and also through understanding of the mental traps, the energetic traps that I accept as me, and in that accept the world as is and not change- not realising that I have this opportunity to stop all participation in one breath, and walk the point here through self-application, every day, until it’s done. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am not the mind, but that I am responsible for my automated responses. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear is an illusion which perpetuates the entrapment within energy and as long as I react through anticipation I still believe in fear. 
I commit myself to stop future projections to deal with or solve my problems, or fill my needs - and in doing so I am consistent in my application to do what it takes to bring about a solution in the physical world, both on a personal level and on a global level. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 22, 2012 I want control

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself within the desire to be in control about a situation that needs resolution. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react emotionally if I do not get what I want within a situation that I need to resolve for myself, where I see myself as entitled to get what I want. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to block myself from moving forward in the best possible manner, within a situation that I need to resolve, because I get stuck within the emotions surrounding my desire to want control over the situation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in the desire for control and by doing so either ignore the situation that needs resolution, or fear the same situation and thus, as a result, I am unable to see beyond the fear - I cannot move myself out of the situation and remain stuck - failing to take self-responsibility to direct myself out of the situation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by trapping myself in the desire for control and not being able to control a situation that needs resolution, I allow myself to respond in self-pity because there is an emotional built up,  instead of standing up and moving myself towards a resolution, here in every breath. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wallow in self-pity because I want attention from others, and I want someone else to take care of my situation that I need to resolve for myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses for not taking the steps that need to be taken with consistency and application, to resolve my situation, because I allow myself to exist with the situation from the starting point of ‘desire for control’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire outcome of a situation that needs to be resolved, and having this desire, I focus on the future outcome of the situation, not breathing within this moment, here with all my parts but to exist in a fragmented manner, in separation of myself, because I fear that my desire will not be fulfilled and thus I will not be in control. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself throughout my childhood that I need to be in control of a situation not understanding that the only control I have is in raising myself in awareness towards my allowances and acceptances, to release these through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, and to bring myself back to the physical world in every moment until I stop my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that within the desire for control over my life I do not accept myself in self-trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my power lies within my application within my process. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this desire for control makes me overlook solutions for the situation that are best for all, because I have trapped myself and cannot see beyond the confines of my emotions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this is a program I run since childhood where I, through tantrums, controlled my environment, because I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within manipulation and deceptions of which tantrums are an outflow. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the ‘desire for control’ over a situation that needs resolution is self-manipulation where I self-sabotage solutions towards the situation, and enter into an emotional roller-coaster of highs and lows - as I realise that I have created this self-sabotage. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire control over a situation that needs resolution, as I see the situation from the point of ego, I accept self-definitions of inferiority because I am unable to control the situation and bring about its resolution.  
I commit myself to stop all desire for control of any situation in my life that I need to bring to resolution, and in doing so I take responsibility for me here as the physical being that I am.

I commit myself to stopping the cycle of 'desire for control', 'self-pity' because I do not have control, and 'self-sabotage' of opportunities that present themselves as solution for the situation. 
I commit myself to stop all ego fits that have only one function which is to trap me in my mind, and to do what it takes to step-by-step bring about a solution for any situation in my life that needs to be dealt with, without allowing myself to respond to self-judgment, and by doing so I apply common sense to ensure the outcome is best for all.
I commit myself to stop all that is projected because I realise that all that is projected is beyond the physical existence and can only be mental, including all attributes that I have identified myself with, they are projected personality constructs - and that I accept the death of my personality to rebirth of myself here in the physical. 
[Continue reading...]

Monday, May 7, 2012

Day 21, 2012 Other people's bad mood

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect the ‘reward of communication’ and peaceful, friendly co-existence with others, when I am making efforts to communicate and create harmony with those that I interact with daily.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act in dishonesty, in wanting to create a sense of community which serves to make me feel better because I react to the bad mood of others, instead of standing in self-trust. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep repeating the pattern of my childhood where I programmed myself to be the peace-maker, the go-in-between of my parents, when they were fighting with each other, and so I reacted/acted at the first signs of a fight because I wanted to live in peace, thus I would do whatever it took to divert the fight and restore peace. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that there is never peace in this world as long as there is a mindconsciousness system and that all peace making or peace keeping is nothing more than to keep the delusion rooted in polarity going - that this world can be good/positive/right.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be affected by someone else’ bad mood, which will 'occupy' me and I will try to interact with them because I want the person to stop.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed my bad moods and my anger, so that I am always friendly and pleasant - also I expect others to do the same. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop the backchat in my mind when I am with someone who I cannot move into a better mood - through communication. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive myself responsible for someone’s bad mood and by doing so divert facing myself and what I have accepted to exist as. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be friendly to people because I have programmed myself to accept ‘common courtesy’ as it is important for a smoothly operating community when I realise that friendly communications are deceptions and keep us trapped in our patterns and encourage us to avoid any self-investigations. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to experience myself in anger towards my parents and blame my parents for their behaviour and in doing so I also blame myself for my behaviour. 
I commit myself to stop living the suppression of anger by being friendly to others in my immediate environment, and thus will be able to deal with the anger through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.
I commit myself to immediately speak self-forgiveness when I am around someone, who is in the bad mood, and I feel uncomfortable -   I will not tempt myself to ‘fix’ the situation by engaging the other in friendly conversation. 
I commit myself to stand in self-trust and practise self-forgiveness and only realise I have walked the point of friendliness and courtesy when the mood of others around me has no effect on me. 

[Continue reading...]

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Day 20, 2012 Realising my Self through physical time

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to operate, function, and move my Self in physical time is the key to stop my mind. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I live in physical time I see that the me in every moment is not the ‘individualistic’ me, but a reflection of the whole unfolding within the whole through the rhythm of substance, through physical time, where competition and comparison cannot exist because physical time recognises that all is here equally - at any given moment -  and that is all that will ever be here with all its stages and cycles, and can never be more or less than a moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that all judging of others stems from operating in mind time (e.g. any 'time' related to the clock/calendar and so forth) where I diminish ‘me’ through the superiority/inferiority construct because mind time cannot accept all as one and equal. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I live on mind time I suppress myself, which will lead to lashing out in finding diversions because I adhere to all that is separation, where I am unable to direct myself and where I accept the internalised struggle of survival as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make many assumptions about the future when I accept mind time to organise my actions and movements, which is how I stray away from the moment as oneness, and accept the images and memories in my mind as valid. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that every time I operate from mind time, because I believe that I must, in that I have some external signifier such as a deadline - I enter into a stress zone that I have accepted as me and that through this acceptance I build up energetic charge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage my physical time by giving into resistances where I do not move myself in preparation for a certain point in time - a deadline of sorts - and because of these resistances I end up accepting mind time because I have not been able to prioritise my time comfortably which is when fears begin to emerge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept mind time where I make decisions that are not best for all and that cause consequences and repercussions that I must walk instead of making my movement in physical time and in breath, making this the most important aspect of my waking moments - which will lead to holistic decisions and an understanding of what is it that I am creating in my life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself when I do not respond to the context of my life in the tasks of my daily activities, but that I try to stick to some plan that was conceived in my mind where I no longer respond to the context that I am part of in every moment. 
I commit myself to learning to live in physical time in all of the my waking hours, where I realise that through common sense and through practical application that each task I perform, I perform on time, when I apply myself breath-by-breath.
I commit myself to stop any automated future projections because I see things/situations/contexts from the starting point of mind instead I learn to prioritise my activities through my physical existence. 
I commit myself to stop all resistance to tasks and processes that stretch over cycles, and am so able to apply myself regularly and thus will always turn things/situations/contexts out, perfectly timed. 
[Continue reading...]

Day 19, 2012 I, as the end of 'see with shun' (separation)

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that each time I ascertain my thoughts, by believing what I suggest to myself, I have a choice to stop and breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that within that choice to believe or breathe, I release myself from the trap that is my mind, and that each time I make the choice to breathe and stop beliefs, I release myself and others a little bit more through the accumulative effect of time and inadvertent oneness that is Self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss opportunities of making the choice to breathe because I do not direct myself, because I exist in fear, without self-trust and without self-support. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that every time I have made the choice to believe instead of 'breathing here', I have created consequences that I and everyone must live through and that delay the process of change for all, where I in essence have not been responsible because of not realising that my responsibility is within breath, and is lived through moving myself breath-by-breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss opportunities of making the choice to breathe here because I did not slow myself down, because I exist in the belief, within my process, that there is somewhere to go, somewhere to be, not realising that every thing/being that is at stake is here in every moment and cannot be achieved, accomplished, completed, but that me as the completed, accomplished and achieved Self ‘IS’, and that this process that I am walking is about me realising that this 'IS' what leads to nothingness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise my choice of breathing here, and interacting and tackling situations that are in need of solutions from the starting point of oneness, where I stop all anger and all dividing, conquering, competitive beliefs - where I stop the antagonistic, critical, sarcastic, derogative interferences, that are my thoughts, and use my creativity as self-expression to create wholeness, as I reach to be whole as Self through self-directive application. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to speak as I, as Self in this world, I must walk every breath as I, to be the I that is all of existence and when I make the choice to not breathe here, I do not walk as I but as mind - which can never be anything else but separation because the very nature of the mind equals separation in any given moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the fruits of oneness, when I move in a self-directed manner from the starting point of oneness, are here for me to benefit from equally. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I move in separation the result is separation and that once I move from the starting point of oneness, I decouple myself from the shackles of time - because it is through the shackles of time that I rush, stress and exist in fear, which I express through impatience towards Self and others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the starting point of oneness and equality unleashes my self-expression and my unfettered, unhindered, unobstructed creative force that I can apply in all contexts and situations of my life and thus live my life to perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I act with the choice of separation that the outcome can never be oneness, which is a self-defeating act with long-term consequences, but that when I move in a self-directed manner through my choice of oneness and equality, that the long-term result will contribute to the recreation of myself and to the creation of a new humanity, where I realise that any momentary setbacks that I might perceive as result of my self-direction are system attacks, that I can use to strengthen my resolve to change me and to bring about what is best for all. 
I commit myself to be meticulous as me, where I with meticulous dedication walk my process in oneness and equality ceasing every opportunity that presents itself to make the choice of manifested breath instead of manifested consequences.
I commit myself to be meticulous in detecting any separation that I have accepted through language, customs and traditions, that I have accepted in unawareness, and which I raise to my awareness for all to see through my writings and blogging, so that all become aware of the deception that we recreate with our participation. 
I commit myself to end all separation within me and within the world that is my home, the whole of me, as I AM becoming, moving, creating my Self as existence. 
[Continue reading...]
 
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