Thursday, December 20, 2012

Day 223, 2012 Bacteria/Viruses_cold_illness_sick 2




 In this post I continue walking the point that I started on day 220.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat where I talk to myself about how unjust it is that some people get more often sick than others.

If and when I want to compare myself to others, I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all competitive thoughts and focus solely on ME, my breath - I stop the voices in my head.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deal with my resistances in backchat and look to give into my resistance by abusing my body through illness.

If and when I believe that getting sick is convenient I realise that I am believing my backchat. I realise that I am looking for a convenient way out of the situation and illness is accepted and debilitating, and people feel sorry for the person who suffers. I commit myself to stop using people’s pity to stay within my limitations and avoid confronting my resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory about being very sick as a teenager and one of my teachers telling me that I might be very sick but I don’t look it, exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of me being very sick and still making my way to class when the teacher tells me that I am not looking sick enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto disguise, the need for make-up, and manipulation within the memory of my teacher telling me that I don’t look sick enough even though I was very sick and told to stay at home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from disguise, the need for make-up, and manipulation by defining disguise, the need for make-up and manipulation within the memory of my teacher telling me that I don’t look sick enough even though I was very sick and told to stay at home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that disguise, the need for make-up and manipulation are here with me equal and one in every breath.

If and when a memory from my childhood comes up I release it by looking at it in self-honesty. I commit myself to walk each memory breath-by-breath and align myself as equal to all that is here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about my mother making health such a big deal and her control over me regarding food and drink.

If and when I realise that my mother’s words and behaviour bug me I take it back to self and realise that whatever creates reactions within me, exists in separation of me. I commit myself to do the work and release all separation, and within that I utlilise my reactions towards my parents to uncover how I have programmed myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised the benefit of preempting illness, in every way.

If and when I expose myself to illness or by not acting in common sense to prevent illness, I stop and realise that I am sabotaging myself. I commit myself to understand and walk this point of illness and how it relates to my life (programs) in absolute detail, so that I stop abusing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat in which I accept that the world is a hostile place and that beyond the human, bacteria and viruses are equally not to be trusted.

If and when I believe that the world is hostile, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am the world and that this belief is the ultimate belief of separation. I commit myself to change myself to the point where there is nothingness, no mind that I accept to rule my life and become equal and one to all that is here.  

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