Monday, December 17, 2012

Day 220, 2012 Bacteria/Viruses_cold_illness_sick 1





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use bacteria and viruses to abuse myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to either fear bacteria and viruses or want to attract the same in order to create sickness, deliberately. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bacteria and viruses when others, who are visibly infected, come to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the lack of control I have over bacteria and viruses, once they enter my body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what bacterial and/or viral activity is going on in my body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that bacteria and viruses can put me out of commission for an unknown amount of time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bacteria and viruses are more powerful than me because i don’t understand how they work - beyond what science tells me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bacteria and viruses, because they challenge my individualism since they use humans and animals as a host to get to me - and thus demonstrating to me how dependent I am on everyone else. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fear bacteria and viruses when I want to be sick out of convenience. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when I wish to be sick deliberately I do so randomly where I show no concern about the extend to which I can get sick and incapacitated. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to use sickness to get the attention of my parents. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used sickness/illness to not take responsibility for my actions and/or to manipulate and hide behind sickness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attributed illness/sickness to be a seasonal phenomenon. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used 'cold weather' to program the belief that cold weather brings sickness/illness to me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of my mother telling me not to sit down on a cold stone because I will get sick if I do, exist within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory of my mother telling me that I get sick if I sit on a cold stone. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined fragility, harm, pain within the memory of my mother telling me that if I were to sit on a cold stone I will get sick. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from fragility, harm and pain by defining fragility, harm and pain within a memory of my mother telling me that if I were to sit on a cold stone I will get sick. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that fragility, harm and pain are here equal and one as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of me where I am in excruciating pain, close to dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of me in total helplessness and depending on another to help me get to a doctor. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that when I get sick I shift shape and become gross and disgusting. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought where all my dreams are bursting, because I have become sick/ill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that I do not want to live any more because I am too sick/ill. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that bacteria and viruses are harmful to my survival. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that bacteria and viruses are beings too. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that bacteria and virus are weapons, defined by humans as biological warfare. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that when I am dead bacteria will invade my body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that bacteria and viruses are in a war with humans. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that bacteria and viruses become my friends and help me out of situations I believe that I cannot get out otherwise. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I can use sickness and illness like a weapon to keep me save from the evil world around me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to every year imagine how the cold weather will affect me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how well I feel in warm weather when I am living in cold weather. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat about how I get out of a particular situation and then telling myself that sickness is the best way to get around the issue(s). 

I forigve myself that I have accepted and alllowed myself to have backchat about people who sit close to me in public spaces because they represent a potential threat to my health.

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