Saturday, November 24, 2012

Day 208, 2012 Winter time: Fear of getting sick




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick when a person in my proximity starts to sneeze and to cough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick because in the past I have been sick a lot and so I don't want to experience sickness anymore because I believe that I have had more than my share of illnesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when the person next to me is not covering their mouth with their hand while sneezing and coughing than there is more of a chance for me to get sick because airborne bacteria are spread in the room.

If and when I am next to others who are sick I stop myself from creating an emotional charge of fear. I stop and breathe. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that bacteria are beings which whom I can be one and equal, and within that I commit myself to stop all labels for illness and sickness and realise that sickness is what we humans have chosen in our acceptance as automated organic robots - and by walking out of my mind I can stop this way of relating to substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dread winter time because so many get sick, including myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick because I do not like to experience my body in a sick state.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick because I do not want to miss out on work time.

If and when I have thoughts that consider illness an inconvenience I realise that I am not separate from my illness but that I am a participant in the creation of my physical experience. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I am one and equal to my physical body no matter what health state I find myself in - I thus stop blaming the outside world, my body, or other beings e.g bacteria, for my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that bacteria are part of me and that getting sick is not necessarily all due to the exposure of someone who is sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my assumptions in "how" we get sick, fostered by the belief in medical research whereby I don't realise that there is lots of misinformation because medical research is motivated by and linked to the money-making machine, and can therefore not be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that my fears are the bigger factors in me getting weak/sick/physically distressed - because thoughts of anxiety send energetic charges through my body which sucks the life force out of me in self-abuse.

If and when I believe what I have been told about sickness by the medical community, I stop myself from making assumptions of what is going on with my body and use common sense in taking care of myself. I commit myself to approach my body and my health from common sense and draw on medical support only if necessary, and when alternative methods of healing are no longer useful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of me being 'sick in bed' and have programmed myself through memories to fear the situation repeating itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory exist inside of me where I am three years old and lying in my crib in lots of pain in the lower part of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory where I am three years old and lying in my bed in excruiating pain which affects my lower back.

If and when I have a memory of my childhood come up where I suffer from sickness, I stop and breathe and realise that I can let go of the memory by standing one and equal to it, realising that this is the past and has no more value in the present moment of my life. I commit myself to stop any and all memories that led me to program myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define loneliness, helplessness, and danger within the memory of me being three years old and lying in my bed in excruitating pain in my lower back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to have separated myself from loneliness, helplessness and danger thrrough defining loneliness, helplessness and danger within the memory of my childhood where I am three years old and lying in my bed, squirming in pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef to have a memory of looking out of my bed where I see horizontal bars that keep me separated from the world outside of my bed.

If and when I drift back into my memories from my early childhood, where I was sick a lot and in pain, I stop and breathe, I bring myself here in awareness and use the moment of memories surfacing in my mind to provide myself with insights to understand how I have programmed myself regarding illness and the relationship with my parents. I commit myself to investigate all relationships between illness, myself and my parents that I have used to program characters, self-definitions and limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to believe that being confined and seeing the horizontal bars of my crib was a form of punishment by my parents because I was sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sickness warrants confinement and separation to regain one's health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted with emotions towards sickness and have seen sickness as less than me.

If and when I find myself seeing illness in others and reacting to it because I believe that not being well is a 'physical prison', I stop myself, breathe, and realise that we have created these prisons with our minds, and that we easily blame the physical world in this so that we don't have to recognise our self-responsibility. I commit myself to uncover my blind-spots where I am still blaming someone or something and stop blaming by taking self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by creating anxiety I avoid getting sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that whenever I am sick I will slow down in my performance, and then have to make up for what I did not get done during my sickness, once I am in better health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that sickness is not natural but relates to my acceptances and allowances as a mindconsciousness system.

If and when I find myself using sickness to justify convenient excuses I stop myself from engaging with my backchat and breathe. I commit myself to stop believing that my backchat is valid and can contribute to my life on earth.

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